Hey LL 
I was wondering what happened to you.
So utterly typical MLC'er stuff..... can't say I'm sorry you found out, I think finding out really helps (in some way, maybe not so much in others).
It does give you insight into her break though, what the unseen damage is/was.
Easy to see, it's not about you...... it was all her.
I hope you can get some peace and process all the things you need to process. I'd suggest: Don't shut it down if you are. 
If I remember correctly, that was one of your big fears in the beginning. Just curious.... what do you feel about that now?
Are you glad to find out much later down the road rather than at the start? Do you think that made it more manageable for you?
-SS
Thanks, I had to take a break from here and the groups on FB. I've deactivated FB on and off for the last few months and sadly had it activated when I saw the photo. I found that looking for similarities in others stories, was holding me back. I was moving forward, I am moving forward, but its unhealthy for me to immerse myself in the pain and destruction of other LBS' going through the motions. I fully understand it, but continuing to expose myself to it, was not doing me good. I also changed careers and wanted to focus my energy on that. And had some interactions with S that I needed to take a step back from. So I've mostly been just trying to find peace in the craziness that is the world right now.
I remember feeling vindicated. That I was right all along, to be worried about him. That was followed with anger. Anger for not listening to my gut and intuition. Anger for knowing she was in a relationship with a man, but denying my truth that it was him. Angry that I allowed her to disconnect me from myself and intuition and stay when I KNEW something was happening. Angry at myself for not being strong enough to leave.
When I sent her that voice memo, I said "A noble person would have come home that night and told me they were in love with their boss, and that they were leaving me for him. Then we could have wrapped things up 2 years ago. But instead you fed me lies. Told me this wasnt about someone else, that you weren't interested in another man. That you dont want to be in a relationship because as you said, youve been in relationships your whole life and you need to know who you are. That you didnt think we should rush into a decision about divorce, all while you were in a relationship with him". And no, I did not expect a response nor did I want one to the message I sent. I ended my message by letting her know that I have ZERO interest in her version of events, because she has been lying to me for years now....during our marriage, and after it. So there was nothing they could say to me that I would believe with even just an ounce of my entire being. I told her after all shes done to me, that I dont wish her harm, I wish her nothing but the best in life, but that was it for me. And then I blocked her. I didnt want to hear more of her BS and lies, and I didnt want to deal with monster. I have no idea if his wife knows of the affair, if they are even still together, nothing. All I know is she hides him from social media so clearly, they either dont want his W to find out, or their co-workers as this must be some kind of HR violation.
I have been in regular therapy since 2020, so I dont shut it out or shut down. I understand that its okay to have emotions, to have anger, to have irrational thoughts and fantasies. So when these days come up (and they still do thanks to my seasonal depression), I allow myself the space to feel it. I just dont act on it and if it gets too far out of hand, I have techniques to bring myself back to a semblance of calm.
Living in a pandemic, in isolation, certainly has its challenges. I am getting burnt out. My new job is fully remote for me unless I have to travel to the client. If a pandemic didnt exist, I would likely be in the US weekly, on site with the client but since they too are still working from home, I am home all day and all night. Some days I love this peace - in fact, I have never been more certain about my desire to be alone - no partner, no one in my space, just endless peace. But some days it does get to me. And on those days, I honour my feelings and just lay on the couch in a pit of anxiety LOL.
Page 63 from "MLC for Dummies" - Tell the LBS that there is nothing to worry about while doing the Horizontal Mambo with said "Not to Worry about" person...
It really is always "the one they told you not to worry about", isnt it? LOL
Love Me, Dont Leave Me Volume 2
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