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Author Topic: Discussion How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?

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Discussion How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
OP: March 18, 2020, 10:17:46 AM
Occurred to me that, in a way, a lot of what is going on and how folks behave is a kind of big science experiment. And that this might be as true in the land of MLC......so perhaps worth sharing any (new lol) strange behaviour by MLCers?

I genuinely have no idea how folks in this kind of crisis might behave, given the standard MLC playbook.
More touch and go pop ups bc they get a guilt blip?
More controlling bc they feel more anxious?
More angry bc their Replay fun spots get shutdown?
More sadz bc they feel a bit isolated from their old support system?
Even, gosh, a bit of honest remorse or concern bc their empathy chip gets a kick?

Genuinely don't know. Don't expect to hear from my remarried vanisher lol.
But it makes sense to me that, just as the rest of us are coming under pressure and having to change our own behaviours, it might change some MLC behaviours too. Either in good or not so good ways, I guess. But I thought it might be interesting for our own 'scientific' record to have a place to log any unusual behaviour changes that seem to be provoked by what is going on around us all.
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#1: March 18, 2020, 10:29:21 AM
I can only speak about mine.... but she is terrified, and is moving closer for safety.
Don't know if that will happen to many of them..... I suspect they will grab on to whatever is close and work on surviving.

I would be curious to see what the difference is between "live-ins" and those that can gone.
Somewhere I had read that the MLC'er in a life or death situation will completely snap out of MLC while they are threatened. Completely and total pause on MLC.... and then go back into it once the threat has passed (survival trumps MLC). Can't say if it's true, but I think some here may get a glimpse over the next couple weeks.

The reaction to the virus is all perception, and MLC'ers magnify perception.

-SS
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Start of Shadow - Feb 2012

r
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#2: March 18, 2020, 10:37:52 AM
Hi, hope everyone is staying as healthy as possible. Mine came over last night out of nowhere and dropped off tons of groceries and snacks for the kids. I was completely caught off guard, there was no prior discussion and just text me he would be over in about 10 minutes. It was a pleasant interaction, he hung out for about an hour just laughing and joking with us. He said he would be back Friday with more stuff.
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e
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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#3: March 18, 2020, 11:16:57 AM
Mine actually asked my daughter if she was ok. He hasn't cared to even ask how school is going in the last 4 years.  Who know maybe it will effect some of them.
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#4: March 18, 2020, 11:41:51 AM
It's possible this might make some of them "get it", or think about it in the very least.   Hard to say how they would be . Maybe more panicked because they feel even less in control? Glued to the TV?

SS that's true, its all about perception being magnified.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

G
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#5: March 18, 2020, 11:50:18 AM
Mine pulling my teen into his new teen tribe as to take the attention off of his messes.  Ultimately, these teens will turn on each other with their sense of entitlement.  Meanwhile, back at the barn yard... I'm deconning like Barbie... Catching up on nesting and reading.  I too was of the early group who couldn't read because of the trauma.  Now maybe some fun shows.  Stores are crazy and bare.  I started preparing 2 weeks ago.  Today, I helped a neighbor barter chicken for toilet paper for another one who didn't know her.  It's nice seeing the good side of people.  Stay safe!! God Bless!! GGG
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« Last Edit: March 18, 2020, 11:51:56 AM by Ggg4life »

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#6: March 18, 2020, 01:35:18 PM
Mine's not giving much weight to it... Even with flu like symptoms she's going to work, visiting her parents etc. She also tried to get kids meet their friends, go to social gathering etc. Also has made "jokes" how this could be nature's way to solve overpopulation problem... So all in all not putting much consideration to others (I've been on high risk group for 10+ years, and though she has always been somewhat inconsiderate towards outside risks, she has gone worse). Sigh.   

Also, our oldest girl, and all her friends, are down with some sort of flue.  She's just said "it's not covid, carry on as usual."... I've had to put effort to make G19 see why it matters that she isolates....

Alvin.
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« Last Edit: March 18, 2020, 01:40:36 PM by AlvinTheMaker »
At time of BD.... Me: 43, XW: 41
Kids: G19,G18,G14,G12,S5
Together - 20½ Years, Married 19 Years

BD ("I don't love you"): Feb 2019, 
BD2 ("I don't want to fix this marriage."), Mar 2020
D filed May 2020, D finalized Dec 2020
I have moved on, and am in new relationship.

Lessons from Stoicism and REBT helped me to exit the chaos zone and become a better person. 

"Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. - Epictetus"

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#7: March 18, 2020, 02:03:50 PM
Great question.
I’ve been wondering as well.
Quite sure his usual distractions, such as work, party’s and social drinking are gone now.
Will this have an effect?

Haven’t noticed anything so far.
He was initiating touch and go’s lately, but stopped for now. After we ran into each other (had been 1,5 years since seen irl).

If living with ow, pressure on the relationship or closer together.
If not living with the ow, also pressure or more desire?
Living alone? Lonely?
Living with friend? Fun, drinking and distraction or frustrations to blame?

No way of knowing, all guesses for me.
But it sure did cross my mind.

Here we have very strict new rules, it has an impact on every persons life. I’m sure it must have one on the MLC’ers as well.
How is anyones guess.

Take care of yourselves and those around you in these special times.
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#8: March 18, 2020, 04:45:07 PM
Mine pulling my teen into his new teen tribe as to take the attention off of his messes.  Ultimately, these teens will turn on each other with their sense of entitlement.  Meanwhile, back at the barn yard... I'm deconning like Barbie... Catching up on nesting and reading.  I too was of the early group who couldn't read because of the trauma.  Now maybe some fun shows.  Stores are crazy and bare.  I started preparing 2 weeks ago.  Today, I helped a neighbor barter chicken for toilet paper for another one who didn't know her.  It's nice seeing the good side of people.  Stay safe!! God Bless!! GGG

FWIW-All in the mind of teen age thinking..either side.  Since Friday DD has asked to stop by twice.  Each time looking more tired than the last.  Just today asking if she could get clean clothes, though she can wash anywhere.  I said " Sure as long as I'm here.  You're welcome to take the foods that you previously bought and I'll give you any opened foods that I don't eat."   :). I tried to give her a few extra offerings, but told her in these times its costing a lot to maintain, I'm not a grocery store.  She understands.  Momma gives her a hug, reminds her she can always come home, but no lockdown here with boyfriend.  She's never liked staying at her dads.  I'm seeing this in the teen realm as the lovely touch and go behavior.  Time will tell. She left loving, not sassy.  Hang in there everyone!!
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« Last Edit: March 18, 2020, 04:46:26 PM by Ggg4life »

m
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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#9: March 18, 2020, 04:50:37 PM
Interesting question, mine has popped up recently but I’m not sure if it is the virus or another financial matter that occurred right before. But after a very long silence she is sending me one or two virus related texts a day. But she is also in isolation and maybe bored.
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No Kids, 23 years at BD1 (4 years), married 21
First signs of MLC Jan '15
BD 1 Jan '17, BD 2 Mar, Separated Apr, BD 3 May,BD 4 Jun '18
First Sign of Waking up-Dec '17, First Cycle out of MLC Mar '18-Jun ‘18, Second cycle Jul '18-??
Meets OM Jan '17 and acts "in love," admits "in love" Jun '18, asks for divorce Jul '18

 

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