Skip to main content

Author Topic: Discussion How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?

M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3809
  • Gender: Female
Discussion Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#20: March 20, 2020, 04:14:01 AM
Oh, Threeboys, that sounds really miserable. I'm so sorry. Glad the boys are not too bad. I hope you start recovering really soon.xxx

Re: MLCer and Coronavirus, my H hasn't been in contact with S the last three days. When he did contact it was not to ask if we were ok but just to make silly jokes.
  • Logged
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

3
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 337
  • Gender: Female
How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#21: March 20, 2020, 10:00:52 AM
Thanks Milly, both my S14 and I woke up feeling it in our chest today, it’s painful and nerve wracking. What we were told is that the most severe cases are ending up in the hospital about three weeks after the onset of symptoms. I am day 10, my son is day 4 - so far, it’s crummy but manageable, today i am feeling a little out of breath, so will watch it carefully. I appreciate the sentiment about the comparison with the flu - it doesn’t feel like the flu to me, it also doesn’t feel like a cold, for us it is an entirely different animal - both my son and I have terrible headaches, my son is describing it both as painful but like his head is in a fog - hard time stringing thoughts together.
The body aches are different too - it is like our back, chest, shoulders and throat are totally locked up, very sore, no aches at all in the lower body. It’s weird. I can’t compare it to anything else I’ve ever had...

Last night MLCer checked in with S15 by text, asked him how he was doing then asked about me and S14. He has yet to ask me directly how I am, but has asked a couple of times through the boys - probably only because I have it...
  • Logged
BD End of April 2017
Moved out - kind of, May 2017
Denied affair
Cycled hard April - Oct 2017, my son figured out affair, I confronted husband, we were going away as a family for the weekend - H monsters hard and files for a D end of Oct, 2017
D final Sept 2018
Many touch and goes
He lives in monster, kids haven’t been with him overnight since Jan 2019
Moved in with MOW, a former friend of mine, May 2019

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2185
  • Gender: Female
How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#22: March 20, 2020, 11:39:47 AM
3 boys -
I am also so sorry that you're feeling unwell.
Please don't wait too long to contact your doctor if your symptoms progress.

I believe that the MLCer cannot give us the impression that they care about us - which makes sense because they really don't, I guess.
I'm sorry for that, but at least he's concerned about your sons.

Do you have someone to watch the kids in the event that you become severely ill?
Try to have everything lined up --  just in case.
The lat thing you need is to scramble while feeling ill.

Hugs and feel better.

  • Logged

M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3809
  • Gender: Female
Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#23: March 20, 2020, 01:19:19 PM
Oh, I'm really sorry, 3boys. Are you in contact with your doctor?  Do they give you any advice on how to take care of yourselves? I know here they say it's important to move and sit up, not lie flat.  Seahorse had some really good advice, too.
Please keep us informed. xxxx

  • Logged
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

3
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 337
  • Gender: Female
How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#24: March 20, 2020, 01:40:49 PM
Hi Milly and Sea, yes, we are in touch with our doctors. There is no treatment so tellers basic instructions are hydrate, rest, acetaminophen for pain but don%u2019t try to bring the fever down under 102. Laying down makes the cough and chest pain worse, so sleeping in a reclining position propped up by many pillows, have had chills, so have been staying wrapped in blankets. Today is the worst day so far. I have my oldest son who could stay home if necessary and also a few siblings in the area, s14 has it too though, and s15 had symptoms for two days so they believe he likely also had it - he probably got it first. 

S14 has slept for about 16 hours starlight, he just got up and is having a bite to eat. We will be fine, I do have help if I need it, I imagine we will turn it around any time now.
  • Logged
« Last Edit: March 20, 2020, 01:42:12 PM by 3Boys4Me »
BD End of April 2017
Moved out - kind of, May 2017
Denied affair
Cycled hard April - Oct 2017, my son figured out affair, I confronted husband, we were going away as a family for the weekend - H monsters hard and files for a D end of Oct, 2017
D final Sept 2018
Many touch and goes
He lives in monster, kids haven’t been with him overnight since Jan 2019
Moved in with MOW, a former friend of mine, May 2019

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2185
  • Gender: Female
How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#25: March 20, 2020, 01:44:04 PM
3Boys - also tylenol is good - no non-steroidals like Advil, Aleve, (ibuprofen or naproxen).

Hugs,
Sea
  • Logged

j
  • *
  • Newbie
  • Posts: 16
  • Gender: Female
How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#26: March 20, 2020, 02:10:58 PM
My xh and I were in no contact for 2.5 months.

He reached out this week, not because of the virus, but because of the earthquake that happened in my area. I am okay and better than I was a few days ago for sure!  He asked how I was okay and made sure I checked certain things. We texted most of the day. The virus did come up. He seemed pretty paranoid and anxious about it. He lives alone, but the ow seems to still be around. Apparently she's sick all the time and he's avoiding people now. lol.

So far nothing else. Seemed to be a touch and go. Back in the tunnel he goes.
  • Logged
« Last Edit: March 20, 2020, 02:14:51 PM by jazzy03 »
XH 38
Me 39
T 13 years
M 7 years
BD 1: 7/17
BD 2: 3/19.
Moved out: 4/19
Confirmed ow on social media. They’ve been talking since 1/19 at least. He still keeps her secret. She has posted selfies of them together.
D 11/19

h
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2220
  • Gender: Female
    • Clare Brown Life Coach
How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#27: March 20, 2020, 04:57:59 PM
I am observing mine with interest.  As we are reconnecting, it is interesting to see how he handles a crisis.  The last crisis (besides his) that we faced was during 911 when the company he worked for collapsed on the same day (Airline).  That went under administration soon after and he was only out of work for 2 weeks.  It didn't settle down for 11 months and during that time he wore a path pacing under our patio while chain smoking and drinking.

This time, he is drinking and I don't think he is smoking. Yesterday was the first time I've heard him pace.  Both H and my daughter are in the airline industry so we're seeing and expecting some heavy changes, we just don't know what yet.  He has been away all week so he hasn't had his family to lean on and he seems to have had more good days than bad.  I have seen some pragmatic, big picture thinking that I have never seen from him before and I have seen him shut down Facebook and his news app so he can control his exposure to negativity.  Overall, he seems to be able to self soothe better.

We have been pretty strapped for cash lately so we don't need this  - who does??  It has prompted me to suggest we have a conversation that I felt we were on the verge of having anyway, about living arrangements.  He said that he'd been thinking the same thing.  So it's likely that he'll probably move back in soon.
  • Logged
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved home again March 2020
Moved out July 2017
Moved home March 2020
D21, D19 and S17

M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3809
  • Gender: Female
Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#28: March 20, 2020, 05:03:27 PM
Hope, interesting the read the comparison in your H when he faced the 911 crisis and the Coronavirus one. Good for you for prompting the much needed conversation on living arrangements, especially now that money must be looked after and the airlines are really struggling. I like that so much. Maybe there is a point at which these MLCers do need the LBS to take hold of the reins a little.

I hope he does move in and save you all money. I also hope he moves in so you can carry on building together. Take care and keep safe xxx
  • Logged
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

P
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 577
  • Gender: Female
How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#29: March 20, 2020, 05:14:29 PM
3Boys, I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I can imagine that it is nerve-wracking, and I'm sorry to hear that it is so uncomfortable.  You and your boys are in my thoughts and prayers.
Seattle is also my home in the US but I'm living back in my home country, Germany.
  • Logged
Me: 51 (43 at BD1)
H: 57 (48 at BD1)
D: 14 (6 at BD1)
Met in 1995, married since 2000
BD 1: August 2014
BD 2: October 2015, H moved abroad
August 2018: Received divorce papers in the mail unexpectedly
May 2019: H gave up his job and moved about 1.5 hours to where D11 (at the time) and I live
Divorced: January 2020
Moving on

 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.