[Seekingpatience]

Dear fellow Ramblers,

I last wrote around 2018/2019. The intervening years have been a mass of ordinary events and COVID and deaths and births. My Dad passed in August of 2022. He fought the good fight and is now with my Mom. We had a ringing wake for him with wine following and cheese platters and even a singalong at the very end. “I did it My Way!” Encapsulated the love laughter and tears of my amazing Dada's journey. I miss him and I will bide my time till we meet again.

This year, we also plan to go to the U.K. to scatter my MIL’s ashes.  It will be a family gathering and the young cousins can reconnect. Our oldest nephew has had 2 children, the other younger is now 4 years old and he was born 2 days before my MIL passed. I was at her bedside when it happened and I think it healed our relationship as much as anything could. I bawled Alone  in a strange church after she passed. The actual funeral was about 2 weeks later. H and DS came about a week after her passing due to DS’s National Service requirements.

BIL has since been travelling with PYT and  continues to be touch and go with his kids.

H was trundling along fine and sunny till around my Dad’s passing and was mostly ok. Then in December last year, he decided that he would move back to the Home Country and be semi retired. That seemed to have kicked off the MLC process again in his behaviour but also in tandem my long sleeping goals. The final years looking after my Dad was crisis mode and upheavals due to his medical condition. Now I could clear my head and vision and be more aware of unresolved issues.

Long story short and  (most probably more anon though 😀) H finally seems to be closing more doors but he had to open the doors and acknowledge what were inside the rooms before moving forward. He has since seen a IC 4x  and seems to be more focused on getting the timeline completed. Before it was to
“get SP off my back” - didn’t work.
“Help SP in her healing” -didn’t work
“Help H figure out  H” - so far so hopeful

H had promised me a timeline but it had never come to pass so I knew he had not faced what he needed to heal his past trauma.

I had not faced my own reactions (the body keeps score) to certain triggers and times of the year. I may have placed issues High up in a cupboard but my body didn’t forget. I am trying to also get help for my trauma and I recognise I have had trauma that H cannot help me with. I have to help me.

And so the journey. Our journey continues. I wanted to record this because it has helped me so much before and also because during my research into MLC I found very few anecdotal experiences on this late late part.

MODS : if there are still MODS, I would love help in linking my threads. Thank you.

[UrsaMajor]

MODS : if there are still MODS, I would love help in linking my threads. Thank you.

We're still here (the Mods) and I'll see if I can find your last thread in the archive and link it here...

Found it - SP's last thread can be accessed here: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9882.msg694802

[Seekingpatience]

Thanks Ursa Major  much appreciated.

[FaithWalker]

Hello SP.  Thanks for coming back with an update.  I love it when a former LBS'er comes by and shares a bit of their current journey.