Skip to main content

Author Topic: MLC Monster The biggest thing that made you think this was 'MLC'?

  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 196
  • Gender: Female
  • I HAVE 2 CHOICES-BE HAPPY OR BE HAPPY
Rewriting history, I haven't been happy for  12 years than later changing it to 20 years.  I hated the smug, arrogant and prideful look.
  • Logged
Married 21 years
Bomb 💣 Drop O7-2014
Husband Left 09-2014
Divorce 2015
S27; D23; D20
No contact 2015-2018
Contact and Positive communication-01-2019
Unsure if he’s dating; Unsure if I'm still standing
******************************
“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,          
When Sorrow walked with me.”
Robert Browning Hamilton

W
  • **
  • Jr. Member
  • Posts: 46
  • Gender: Male
Boob Job, tummy tuck and teeth whitening..........yep, and the daily selfies!
  • Logged

K
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5680
  • Gender: Female

 - Distancing himself even from our S whom he used to spend every weekend with. Check
 - Walked around the house with dark sunglasses and headphones so we couldn't even find him when it was time for dinner. He couldn't hear us calling him, or so he claimed.
 - Going out drinking with the guys all weekend every weekend for a couple of years up to BD. Check
 - Working out obsessively and publicly, even when we went to the US to help with his sister who was very sick, he stood in the garden in full view of everyone, in tight shorts and T-shirt lifting weights.
- The shark eyes. His eyes are blue, so really strange when they're black. SAME!!!
 - Saying stupid stuff like: First let's get a divorce, then we can talk about getting back together again.
 - The (what he thought was) a much younger OW. She told him she was 33 when they met.
 - The sport's car.
 - Massive debt and growing. Check
 - Used to dress very casually: jeans, T-shirt, gym shoes. After BD, dressed up like an Armani poster even to go to the supermarket. Specifically odd: very tight T-shirts, very small tight leather jacket, shoes teenagers wear, always a scarf knotted around his neck (inserted into a loop, not tied as that apparently is a sign of having no taste), the man bag.
 - Using only abbreviations and emojis instead of 'talking' in texts. Check
 - No punctuation at all when writing. Sentences start mid way, no capitals, no full stop, no greeting at the beginning or the end. Check
 - The one time he went to my IC about our S, he spoke only about himself and said he had this incredible urge to escape/run away. Check

I am certain my H is having a MLC.


So many similarities.  Also...

-Began running 5k, 10k and half marathons when he always proclaimed how stupid they were since he ran cross country  at the college level and looked down upon them. He an OW ran these races together. (She must have chased her races with a few cakes though b/c she's still quite large--had to get that in there b/c I'm spiteful. ;)

-Dropped ALL of his old friends. Doesn't see them or even respond to their texts/phone calls

-Dropped his entire family--brother, sisters, mother and father.  Ignores their calls.  Will speak to them if in the same room, but no plans to visit or see, even on holidays.

-Flat out ignored me all throughout chemo treatments--never even asked how I felt after having them. And never accompanied me or visited me during them when they were literally a mile form his office.

--All new clothes. There are a pair of white loafers in the mix.

-Left all of his belongings at the house. All of them.

-Constantly telling me how unhappy he is. And of course the "I drink every day hoping to die soon" comment

I never question MLC. I question if he will be able to ever come out of it.
  • Logged
Me 50
H 49
S15
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1315
  • Gender: Female
Would a photograph of a 19 year old girl in pigtails holding a Hello Kitty backpack and sucking on a lollipop while looking up at my 45+ year old H adoringly calling him her Hero in a school newspaper be a good enough clue that it might be MLC?  How about if he frames the article and starts packing his briefcase with "emergency lollipops"?  Then asks me what he can read to find out all about who Hello Kitty is? 

Lp
  • Logged
if people won’t listen to you, there’s no point in talking to people. If they won’t listen, you’re just banging your head against a wall.

Sadly Ive used up all the time I had allotted to spend banging my head on the wall

D
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 517
  • Gender: Male
Rewriting history, I haven't been happy for  12 years than later changing it to 20 years.  I hated the smug, arrogant and prideful look.

Yellow - that's another one I got.  It went from unhappy for a couple of years, to "I checked out in 2014" to "I broke 15 years ago." 
  • Logged
M=51
W=47
D=8
BD Feb 17 Thinking of divorce
Atomic BD June 17 Spying revealed OM at work
Still home.  Threatened to leave several times and has asked me to leave about a dozen. 
Says divorce proceedings will start Jan 18.
She has scheduled mediation Feb 7,  2018
I moved out March 16, 2018
Several mediations, mostly instigated by me.  Foot dragging by STBXW.  Nothing filed. Yet.
5/2019 STBXW filed D behind my back despite signed agreement to mediate.
I retain attorney.
STBXW still hasn't told me and no further action.
Elephant in the room has been addressed.  No further action atm.  Weighing my options.
12/16/19  She files financial paperwork.  Divorce proceeding.

D
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 517
  • Gender: Male
Would a photograph of a 19 year old girl in pigtails holding a Hello Kitty backpack and sucking on a lollipop while looking up at my 45+ year old H adoringly calling him her Hero in a school newspaper be a good enough clue that it might be MLC?  How about if he frames the article and starts packing his briefcase with "emergency lollipops"?  Then asks me what he can read to find out all about who Hello Kitty is? 

Lp

LP -
That's flat out crazy.
  • Logged
M=51
W=47
D=8
BD Feb 17 Thinking of divorce
Atomic BD June 17 Spying revealed OM at work
Still home.  Threatened to leave several times and has asked me to leave about a dozen. 
Says divorce proceedings will start Jan 18.
She has scheduled mediation Feb 7,  2018
I moved out March 16, 2018
Several mediations, mostly instigated by me.  Foot dragging by STBXW.  Nothing filed. Yet.
5/2019 STBXW filed D behind my back despite signed agreement to mediate.
I retain attorney.
STBXW still hasn't told me and no further action.
Elephant in the room has been addressed.  No further action atm.  Weighing my options.
12/16/19  She files financial paperwork.  Divorce proceeding.

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12522
  • Gender: Female
Would a photograph of a 19 year old girl in pigtails holding a Hello Kitty backpack and sucking on a lollipop while looking up at my 45+ year old H adoringly calling him her Hero in a school newspaper be a good enough clue that it might be MLC?  How about if he frames the article and starts packing his briefcase with "emergency lollipops"?  Then asks me what he can read to find out all about who Hello Kitty is? 

Lp

LP -
That's flat out crazy.

And not even normal for a 19 year old...good grief
  • Logged
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

K
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5680
  • Gender: Female
Would a photograph of a 19 year old girl in pigtails holding a Hello Kitty backpack and sucking on a lollipop while looking up at my 45+ year old H adoringly calling him her Hero in a school newspaper be a good enough clue that it might be MLC?  How about if he frames the article and starts packing his briefcase with "emergency lollipops"?  Then asks me what he can read to find out all about who Hello Kitty is? 

Lp

Ew.

And not that there is any competition here. But seriously....this wins.
  • Logged
Me 50
H 49
S15
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

N
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 887
  • Gender: Female
Would a photograph of a 19 year old girl in pigtails holding a Hello Kitty backpack and sucking on a lollipop while looking up at my 45+ year old H adoringly calling him her Hero in a school newspaper be a good enough clue that it might be MLC?  How about if he frames the article and starts packing his briefcase with "emergency lollipops"?  Then asks me what he can read to find out all about who Hello Kitty is? 

Lp


Ew.

And not that there is any competition here. But seriously....this wins.

I raise the bid.  Mine told his ow (in her thirties but immature that she looked sexy like a Disney Princess.  Now it was laziness, not perversion, but still...

And signing his emails (initial)PP for Perfect Prince?

And four visits to drink ayahuasca in Peru in 10 months?  And torso covered in a huge theme tatto?  And emailing me that I am his beloved friend from many lifetimes... and asking me to go tonPeru with him? And.... well can I win something too please?
  • Logged

N

Nas

  • *
  • MLCer Type: Vanisher
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3233
Holy cow.  :o
After reading all of your posts, maybe my H isn't even in MLC.
  • Logged
“The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you will be free.” ~Margaret Atwood

 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.