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Author Topic: My Story Reconnecting Working it out 24: Inhaling the future and exhaling the past

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My Story Reconnecting Working it out 24: Inhaling the future and exhaling the past
#150: September 13, 2021, 01:04:14 PM
I am very sorry about your lamp, Song.
And I hope you are proud as hell for how you dealt with the situation  :)
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Working it out 24: Inhaling the future and exhaling the past
#151: September 14, 2021, 04:29:17 AM
That "little testosterone wall" thing kind of makes one want to pull out a razor for a testosteronectomy sometimes, doesn't it?


It's like "Uhhhhmmmmm ... hey guys? It was MY lamp that got broken. HOW is not relevant at this time. The question is how does it get fixed."

I'm really sorry that it happened and that it was such a $#!tshow between S and H. I can definitely see how a bit of time apart might do both of them a lot of good....

And, you need a new thread....
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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Working it out 24: Inhaling the future and exhaling the past
#152: September 20, 2021, 01:40:17 PM
Thank you for the update, Song. I think the bit that resonates most for me is your choosing yourself. Reaching that place where you can love these people, genuinely want them to find their healing and a happy path forward - and recognizing that in order for them to find that healing and for you to continue on your path forward, it may be necessary for your paths to diverge, at least for a while… well, each story is unique but I feel like that part is true for many of us, and it’s such an important part of this process.

Completely agree. There isn't any way in this world or the next that I could have undergone the necessary personal growth had my wife and I not been separated for five months. We could actually have done with being apart considerably longer than this.

Great to see you're in a good place, Song and Dance.
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Bomb & Separation: 28th January 2008
Moved in with OM for 5 months
EA/PA persisted from 2008 to 2010
Kids: DS ( 11 ), DD ( 10 ) confirmed mine with paternity tests
Another DS (4)
MLC lasted 6-7 years

S
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BD march 2013
Stay at home MLCer
OW for 3.5 years - finishing Autumn 2016
Reconnection started 2017 and still going with no sign of reconciliation.

 

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