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Author Topic: My Story Cleaning Out the Garage

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My Story Cleaning Out the Garage
#10: September 03, 2020, 05:42:54 AM
Hello,

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Ready, many thanks to you for making me go back and  try to hunt down the article (which I couldn't find) because, in my overwhelm, in the depths of the garage, I recalled the Rule of 40% incorrectly.  While my incorrect recollection kept me motivated, my additional research has clarified a lot questions I had about the math while I was purging.
   
The Rule of 40%  comes from Jesse Itzler’s book “Living With A SEAL.” The 40% rule is simple: When your mind is telling you that you’re done, that you’re exhausted, that you cannot possibly go any further,  you’re only actually 40% done.  So, you actually have to go another 60%!!  Sure glad I didn't know that over the weekend because 40% seemed like a lot at the time.   :P   Anyhoo, it looks like I am about 25% done the entire garage.... so I have got a long way to go.  But bulk trash day is coming this week and I am excited for more progress before week end.

Sorry for the inconvenience. The 40% rule is still good for me. I am going to use it when I work out.

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My newest problem is the park serial killer.  He keeps calling and texting.

Yes, a person that it too persistent is a troubling sign. It reeks of desperation and deep insecurity. If you respond, it will only bring a cascade more of calls and texts. This type of personality becomes the controlling type later on due to their own insecurities. If your gut says no, follow your gut.

You have too many great things going on right now to throw a wrench into a great life.

Have a great weekend!

(((((Ready)))))
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Cleaning Out the Garage
#11: September 03, 2020, 06:09:58 AM


and he doesn't look like this guy....
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Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
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BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
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Cleaning Out the Garage
#12: September 03, 2020, 10:57:22 AM
Gracie, yeah, I need that number.  I am going to get cards made up to hand out.

Ready, no inconvenience,  I am researcher by trade and happy to have a new tool in my motivation tool box.   

"Yes, a person that it too persistent is a troubling sign. It reeks of desperation and deep insecurity."  Ready nailed it.  That "serial killer" feeling.  I chatted with the serial killer on the phone the other night for a few minutes.  He started the convo by bashing the NBA, when I disagreed he changed his tune.....I then proceeded with a few other political issues and it became apparent after several flip flops on my part that he was just trying to mimic my opinions to get in my good graces. The last straw was when he asked how old the kids were and when I said D was 18 he said oh good, she is almost "gone". Gone?  Gone where?   Over my dead body is she "gone" anywhere. Obviously, not looking to be part of my kids lives.    BIG, FAT. NO

Ready is right.... too much good stuff to ruin it with this chameleon.   Goodbye Felicia!         

Trying to syke myself up for bulk trash day!!   
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“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
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Cleaning Out the Garage
#13: September 13, 2020, 07:51:25 AM
The last straw was when he asked how old the kids were and when I said D was 18 he said oh good, she is almost "gone". Gone?  Gone where?   Over my dead body is she "gone" anywhere. Obviously, not looking to be part of my kids lives.    BIG, FAT. NO

Oh no he didn't!!!!   >:(

Yep, trust your gut.

Gracie, yeah, I need that number.  I am going to get cards made up to hand out. 

I might just need that number too.   ;D
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Cleaning Out the Garage
#14: September 17, 2020, 11:05:19 AM
Just popping in.  Nothing much new to report.

Still plugging away at the garage.  I didn't make much progress last weekend as my 1995 garage vacuum cleaner ran out of vacuum bags and it was quite an adventure to find more. Still not sure I have the right ones.  Also, I had to go out any buy kitty litter so I could dispose of many, many paint cans. The weather keeps spoiling my bulk trash day - I put a few items out this morning but the rain is a deterrent to dragging out too much stuff. But I am determined to make serious progress on this project in September.   

I was looking through social media one evening and found, through a mutual friend, a picture of LB, MOO2 and MOO2's S at an outdoor birthday party for someone I don't know. The picture is not flattering. They are all facing away from the camera but obviously the pandemic has not been kind to MOO2.  She has put on a LOT of weight and I have no idea what is going on with her hair.  The adults are holding solo cups- so still drinking.  Nobody looks particularly happy.  The picture was so haunting.  I know these people.... and yet I don't know these people.             
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Married 1998
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D16, S12
BD March, 2016
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D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
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Cleaning Out the Garage
#15: September 17, 2020, 02:24:34 PM
Hefty and red solo cups. Sounds klassy.

My garage is on the “list.” You are inspiring me!! 
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Cleaning Out the Garage
#16: September 18, 2020, 07:24:13 PM
Yeah, the garage is on my list too.  Alas, it may now wait until next spring.  I'm not sure I have the energy to tackle it after work these days. 

Ah, the red solo cups - I'm not a bit surprised. 

How's college going for D?

And is S currently playing in a bball league? 
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Cleaning Out the Garage
#17: September 22, 2020, 10:51:01 AM
KIT and SB, so funny you both honed in on the red solo cups.

I feel you SB on the garage.  Work on the garage has slowed down quite a bit after my initial burst.  The dishwasher broke and virtual learning with S is KILLING me.  I just haven't got the energy to even look at the garage on week nights after work and I abandoned it last weekend for a day of apple picking and apple cider donuts with the kids. 

Virtual college is going great for D.  She is doing really well.  She has had a very "adult" month.  She started college, signed up for a student credit card, she is trying out contacts and she finally found a nice PT job.  She is happily exhausted and overwhelmed from all her "adulting".

S, on the other hand, is a virtual mess.  I feel like I have a second job trying to keep track of his schooling.  I am always calling and e-mailing teachers about his assignments, grades, zooms, attendance, etc.  He just does not have the temperment to sit there for 6 hours a day on zoom and then sit for more hours doing homework in the evening.  There is no basketball.  He is just sooooooo frustrated.  I have hired him a tutor to try and help him organize and stay on track but he sees it as just more sitting.  I am at work all day.... so every evening it is an interrogation. Ugh!

On the crazy side, I ran into MOO2's H hiking one day.  :o   I haven't spoken to him in over a year.   We finished our hike together catching up on things.  We didn't speak a word about our exs.  Mostly we talked about what we have been doing in the lockdown and horrors of virtual learning.  His S is living with him now.  Apparently, MOO2 rented a 2 bedroom after she lost her house and S was sleeping on the couch.  So, MOO2's H took him in.  He seems giddy having his S with him and being a Dad.  So sweet.  On the way back to the parking area we ran into MOO2's best friend.  (2020 is just full on crazy I tell you.)  Anyway, we have been texting back and forth again.  Because out of all the people in the world MOO's H knows best what I have been through without even talking about it.  So friends it is I suppose.                     
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
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D16, S12
BD March, 2016
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H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
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Cleaning Out the Garage
#18: September 23, 2020, 05:53:52 PM
DF - I fee so bad for you AND for S with this distance/remote learning thing.  It is not going well in my school either.  Of course I didn't expect it to after the fiasco last spring.  The rigor has risen and the kids haven't had real school since early March.  It's painful for them and for a parent.  Nice move hiring a tutor and I hope it helps.  You will be in the crazy house if you keep trying to do your job and be a teacher to him as well. 

Glad D is adjusting to the new adult world. 

Interesting hike you had - good to hear that another kid has a chance at living with a parent who may have things together. 
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Re: Cleaning Out the Garage
#19: September 23, 2020, 11:14:55 PM
DF, sending support. It's an upside down year and some kids are really feeling the upheaval. I remember how stressed I was when my S started high school and couldn't plan his work correctly. I was so tired at night, the last thing I wanted to do was check his school work. Well done for getting some help for your S since you are already working full time and keeping everyone afloat. 

Having a sporty son too, I think it's really hard for them when they are not allowed to practice for months. They play for passion of course, so they are missing their favourite activity, but they are also so used to being on the go, moving their muscles, thinking quickly, running from school to practice, to getting their homework done really quickly so they can go play a game, that when there is this continuous time without action, they can't do it. You'd think having more time would give them a chance to catch up, but they are not made like this. At least I saw with my S, he needs the pressure of the time limit to buckle down, and he needs the pressure release of his sport to relax. Thankfully, Covid will eventually come to an end, and your S is still so young that he will be able to get right back to his basket ball.
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