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Author Topic: My Story BRAND NEW MAN 13

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My Story BRAND NEW MAN 13
#10: July 13, 2021, 01:25:21 AM
My concern is more for you, Watcher, Re the house...fwiw I would suck it up and do what you have to do or you will be financing the home of three dependent adults ad Infinitum with the odd hand grenade drama.
You deserve to put the last connecting strands of this terrible time behind you.
You deserve to have a home of your own where your sons can come of they wish.
You deserve to live well and even more fully without having to deal with anybody else’s crazy.
You deserve your freedom from it all, Watcher, truly you do.
Jmo.
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#11: July 13, 2021, 10:16:19 AM
Watcher you need to file a motion with the Court to enforce the sale of the house.  You need to ask the Court to have xW pay your attorneys fees as it is her breach of the original agreement that has led you back to the Courthouse door.  This needs to end for everyone's sake.  There are three grown adults living in the house for goodness sake and your life is in a never ending holding pattern.  Enough.   
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#12: July 13, 2021, 10:28:43 AM
Hello,

Quote
Watcher you need to file a motion with the Court to enforce the sale of the house.  You need to ask the Court to have xW pay your attorneys fees as it is her breach of the original agreement that has led you back to the Courthouse door.

Exactly, the legal fees all should come out from her proceeds of the sale. Now she pays for your attorney.

Have a good day and so glad that you are having a positive impact on s18

((((Ready)))
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"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#13: July 14, 2021, 01:53:44 AM


Replace "Sonny" with xW and there you go ...

Or, as Auntie Entity in Mad Max - Beyond Thunderdome put it "Bust a Deal - Face the Wheel"
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« Last Edit: July 14, 2021, 01:59:53 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#14: July 14, 2021, 10:36:06 AM
Exactly. Nothing personal. It is just business darlin'.
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#15: July 14, 2021, 08:12:45 PM
Hi Dumbfounded, UrsaMajor, Treasur, Readytofixmyselffirst, Thunder.

So yesterday I went to pickup S18 for dinner and he did not reply to my text therefore I went home kind of annoyed because I could have went to kickboxing if he would have told me we weren't going out.

He texted me an hour after I was home and apologized. He said he forgot and his phone was downstairs. Meanwhile his brother was also coming home. So maybe he was at the airport with his mom, idk. Maybe his mom wanted me to take S21 out to dinner.

He seemed a bit panicked and immediately asked if we could go out tonight instead. I did say yes but I pushed the dinner time back as I already had plans to goto kickboxing. Yea I have people always looking for me over there and its been difficult scheduling.

S18 has this thing where he wants to try a new place to eat out now on dinner night. He wanted Chinese food and we ended up finding a really nice sit down restaurant that served hot tea with the meal.

S21 still does not talk. He is polite and says hello and goodbye. He also answered some questions about his meal. I asked him nothing about Florida. He is in his own world. He did seem to enjoy the tea which was served in a nice teapot.

I think S18 looks forward to going out to eat as he was already planning the next 2 weeks.

Its almost like she is presenting our 2 son's to me. Here they are. They need your help now. Meanwhile she is the problem who caused their problems.

Have a good night

Thank you
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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#16: July 15, 2021, 01:25:11 AM
Its almost like she is presenting our 2 son's to me. Here they are. They need your help now. Meanwhile she is the problem who caused their problems.

Exactly right.... "I broke 'em, it's up to you to fix 'em."  Luckily, S18 seems to have a bit more internal drive to do his own work and get out form under her than S21... S21 also just got back from 3 months of Super High Intensity Training or Cult Programming a la Bat Snot Crazy Sr aka xMIL so he's probably going to have to be "unindoctrinated" for a while....
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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#17: July 16, 2021, 05:47:30 AM
Hi UrsaMajor,

Yes her latest Florida plan failed again and I'm sure she was the impetus behind S21 coming out for dinner on Wednesday night and getting S18 to act aloof on Tuesday night with his "forgetfulness".

My initial thoughts at dinner were, don't put too much on me xW because I will just withdraw. I have no clue what we are going to do with S21 but I know I'm not fixing her mess.

The dermatologist emails/texts me twice a week about S18's bill. IDK why I would pay it since they haven't even filed the insurance claim yet. Meanwhile I just remembered to schedule his next lab test. The whole dermatologist scenario is enough on my parental plate right now.

S21 is going to have to do more than just come out with S18 and I for an occasional dinner. He is going to have to come out with us on the weekends if I am going to have any impact on him IMO.

His hair is long and he wore sandals and he had his earbuds in the entire time. He is just floating through life right now. He absolutely has no direction.

They both forgot something in my car the other night so I returned it yesterday. I texted S18 on Wednesday night and he responded 4 hours later at 1:59am finally. He must have turned off his computer at that time and went to bed.

So there is no quick fix and I know their mom wants that quick fix. I cannot undue the damage that she has caused and I will not overwhelm myself in trying to do so.

Yesterday I sat in 2 hours of traffic after work and went to kickboxing. Afterwards I stopped by their house to return the boys items. She was not home and S18 did answer my text. Then I went home and finished out the night with a migraine.

The heat has just been oppressive. There are always storms at night. Traffic has just been a nightmare and I chalk it up to everyone just breaking out from their covid isolation. Meanwhile it seems like I'm always at work.

So I just learned that Brooks Ghost 14 launched. Now I jumped on the Brooks bandwagon late as I'm a Brooks Ghost 12 and 13 member. And now 14.  ::)

So hopefully I will be able to run this weekend in between the 100 degrees and the ⛈. I have to be running by 8am and I will see how long I can go.

Enjoy your day

Thanks
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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#18: July 16, 2021, 09:18:49 AM
This heat is terrible. You are getting the storms up North. Down here in the South we get nothing - just dead grass and flowers because there is not enough water in the world for this hot. I had to hose the doggie down before our evening walk last night.

I totally agree. Do not overwhelm yourself trying to pick up after the mess she made.

Stay hydrated out there!!   
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#19: July 17, 2021, 12:23:08 PM
Hi Dumbfounded,

Oh our grass is sooooo green.  :) S18 does not walk the dog in this heat. However, he has done a great job with her and he reports that she now walks carefree without any need to stop. She also grabs her leash when she is ready to go and she gives him a hard time when he is leaving the house without her.

I was interrupted as the heavens have opened up and I had to save my car from the flood, lol.

This morning I went to run along the canal and started at 730am. Many other people had that same idea apparently. The humidity was around 76% and I read afterwards that anything over 40% is really not ideal.

About 1.5 miles into my run I ran into a group of angry Canadians blocking the tow path. Yes, they may have been geese but they were Canadian nonetheless.  ;) Apparently they had not heard that the borders have reopened and they can now go back home.

The woman in front of me turned around as she said she was scared. There were about 12 adults and they formed a wall while hissing. So I did the manly thing and turned around myself and ran in the opposite direction.

I did watch some YouTube videos when I returned home focusing on when Canadian Geese attack. Yes I made a good decision as those things can be relentless in their attack.

I ran in my new Brooks Ghost 14 as today was day one of long running. My target was 10 miles this morning and my clothes were dripping wet by the time I finished. My legs were sore as I haven't run long in awhile.

So my next long run will be on Friday as I try to reach 12 miles. I will have a brief 3 mile run probably on Tuesday. Yea I was finishing no marathon today as my clothes grew heavy in drenchness. I will also mix in 3 kickboxing classes for cardio as I am trying to cut down on the running since the long runs require more endurance.

When I got home there was a program on TV and they were standing at the Brandenburg Gate. Ooh. LOL.... If the rains finally stop falling I will either bike or hike tomorrow as bicycling is a good alternative to running.

S18 cryptically texted me yesterday asking for the driving instructor's number for "just in case he calls". LOL, I know S18 was supposed to arrange his next 2 appointments and he probably doesn't want to tell me that he lost the guy's number.

Enjoy your day everyone

Thanks Dumbfounded
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