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Author Topic: My Story My MLC Wife story -- no kids

P
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My Story My MLC Wife story -- no kids
#70: November 02, 2021, 11:31:39 AM
I have read that at some point many MLCers do wake up to the ramifications of what they have done in a visceral way-- sometimes this realization makes them suicidal.

More likely, and sadly for my Ex-wife, I think she will just devolve further and further into sociopathy-- different rules for her vs. everyone else-- hatchet job morality. And she literally has an experienced master trainer to further teach her the ways.

This is silly but it's literally the path of Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader. Anakin even gives his justifications for his heel turn-- "from my point of view it is the Jedi who are evil" etc.
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My MLC Wife story -- no kids
#71: November 02, 2021, 01:06:06 PM
Hi Pen,

Wow, that's a whole lot to come out. In a way, that's really good: Less questions unanswered, it has given you clarity, you know how far she has fallen and that the AP is not some mythical unknown Greek god (he's just a professional serial loser).

It is quite sad, but like you were saying: This isn't the women you married. You still have the best of her even if what remains is lost forever. That is something the AP never gets: The kind, honorable, good person you knew..... they never have that. 

Glad you are putting it all together and becoming stronger (it's obvious). Life does make you go  :o sometimes, but it wasn't because of anything you did. For every person like you, there is another and another. The world isn't completely full of self destructive broken people or enablers :)

-SS
 
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W - 40
M - 44
Together 25 years, M 23
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019
Start of Shadow - Feb 2012

K
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My MLC Wife story -- no kids
#72: November 02, 2021, 02:06:53 PM
Hi Penadragon!

Not that it’s much consolation, but you’ll probably find many LBS on this site can sympathise with what your wife has done and become.

She has a terrible case of victim mentality. You should do some reading about this, firstly to understand her, but most importantly, to realise that this isn’t your fault, wasn’t caused by you, and has been a lifelong character trait of your wife.

How many times did you notice her genuinely say sorry (to you or others)? People with victim mentality spend the first 5-10 years of their marriage never apologising for anything, and seeking comfort and support from their partner because bad things just keep happening to them, they’re such a victim and it’s just not fair. Then a switch flips, and they are a victim of you and they seek that comfort from others because you’re the worst person in the world.

You may even find that she had a string of relationships before you two met, where every guy was a douchebag, an abuser, a controller or horrible person. I bet she never made a mistake in any of those relationships, and I’m sure she had to leave them all.

This is a sociopathic pattern. She is not going to change. She will spend the rest of her life blaming others for all of her problems, surrounding herself with people who repeat back to her what she wants to hear, and will chop people cold turkey who ask hard questions or don’t tell her what she wants to hear. By doing this, she gets the validation she wants and can convince herself that she’s a good person.

When scumbag affair partner turns out to be a loser, be prepared for it. If she wants you back, she’ll say “he tricked me, he took advantage of me.” She will never be capable of fully accepting responsibility for anything.

You can guarantee two things in life -
1. Taxes
2. Nothing will ever be her fault.

Time to research it, time to realise it’s not your fault, time to realise these people NEVER change… and time to heal your heart and rebuild a new, happier life.
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P
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My MLC Wife story -- no kids
#73: November 19, 2021, 10:35:12 AM
Now that I know for a fact that she was having an affair during the entire divorce saga, this colors the entire back and forth communication on text and email between us much differently!

Just going back and reading (don't worry I've only done this a couple of times) the exchanges knowing what I know now-- it's insane!

In late June she texted me:

"If I had any reservations before, your behaviour during all of this has cemented it."

She abandoned me, emotionally abused me, lied to me, her friends and family for 9 months. Cheated on my with a known con man who has lied about 75% of his entire identity to multiple women, Brought this man in our home in the guise of "a friend" and attempted to get me to go to bed so that she could spend private time with him in our home.

It is 100% clear now that I was, in her eyes, irrelevant and subhuman during this entire ordeal. I meant absolutely nothing at all-- just an obstacle.
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Z
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My MLC Wife story -- no kids
#74: November 19, 2021, 12:00:15 PM
Pendragon,

I am so sorry! It is so hard not to review their words and actions as truth, but the truth is they were looking for wrong in us to justify their actions.  They end up with an easy target when their actions unravel us.

This is part of the GAL… getting YOU back…not getting her back! 
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H
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#75: November 24, 2021, 06:26:09 PM
In late June she texted me:

"If I had any reservations before, your behaviour during all of this has cemented it."

She abandoned me, emotionally abused me, lied to me, her friends and family for 9 months.

Hi Pendragon!   My W did the exact same thing blaming me for her lying and affair.  It's been over a year and my W still hasn't been honest with me and others.      Agree with Zion that GAL focusing on you is critical.   Good luck as you work on your self and move forward in your life.

HF
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W - 42
M - 46
Together 19 years, M 17
2 kids
BD - July 2020
W Left Home - January 2021
W Filed for D - May 2021

P
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My MLC Wife story -- no kids
#76: November 24, 2021, 06:45:49 PM
My W said the same.
"You made me do it"....uhm no We didn't. It was a choice that she made.

They attempt to justify their choice by vilifying us and whatever paints them as the victim in the situation.
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« Last Edit: November 24, 2021, 08:18:13 PM by Pacman »
"Trying to taste green with my elbow ;-)"

 

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