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Author Topic: My Story You Can't Touch This

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My Story You Can't Touch This
#70: December 02, 2021, 12:50:39 AM
What the heck just happened?   

Sigh.           

This just happened....


And people wonder why there are so many Lawyer jokes .... Maybe because there are so many SPQ's becoming Lawyers?
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Me - 58, xW - 51
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 11
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

K
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You Can't Touch This
#71: December 03, 2021, 01:13:44 PM
Gross—I get it DF. We are constantly looking for the karma bus to come and then we see things like this. FB was the spokesperson for the Sheriff’s dept for a couple years—so I got to see her mug on the news all the time. It was quite a promotion, no doubt linked to her association with the judge. I hated seeing her every single time. It never got easier, but for the fact she did look awful on almost every one. Petty I know, but I feel like we don’t always have to be perfect.

Anyway, I get it. It may look shiny on the outside, but we know the ugly inside better than most. Hugs friend. She still isn’t fit to lick your boots, newly minted bar license notwithstanding. 
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Me 50
H 49
S15
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

D
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You Can't Touch This
#72: December 03, 2021, 09:05:24 PM
KIT I can’t even express to you how much your post meant to me. I have been sitting around for two days trying to figure out what is wrong with me that I can’t just get over it. Why does every social media sighting send me into this spiral?  Finally,  I read your post and you say it never gets easier… well, ok then. Here I am beating myself up because I can’t make this get easier. Maybe it is not supposed to … maybe I can just surrender to the fact that sightings of SPQ will always and forever trigger me with an unbearable wave of betrayal and anger and sadness and loss. And that is ok because that is how normal people feel.
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

T
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You Can't Touch This
#73: December 05, 2021, 06:44:42 AM
My XH is not on social media and his OW has me blocked. I have never seen her in person or them together. It is a huge blessing in disguise. I think I would have to completely get off of social media if that were not the case. In some ways not seeing it also probably hinders a bit as well on recovery. What you don't see than doesn't seem as real. A relationship that was started under a veil of lies and destruction of a family would however never not be a bit of a trigger. Period!
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H-54 W-58  M 7/6/91 Kids d-30 s-28 d-14 (dies 2009)
2013- moments of disconnect start
Aug 2016 promotion requires travel   
Oct 2017-total disconnect
Jan 2018- moved out H
Mar 2018- BD1 found old phone 3 EA ‘17-H in therapy
EA ow1-49,  EA-ow2 57, (EA- ow3-58 not reciprocated)
Sept ‘18 -2nd Home in new state H new job
Oct 2018-H moves home
Oct 2020 BD2 does not return home from B trip
Nov 2020 H move to 2nd home in other state OW4
Div filed-Dec ‘20   Div final-Feb ‘21
Oct 2021- XH moves in OW4
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11796.

s
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You Can't Touch This
#74: December 08, 2021, 05:58:50 PM

Here I am beating myself up because I can’t make this get easier. Maybe it is not supposed to … maybe I can just surrender to the fact that sightings of SPQ will always and forever trigger me with an unbearable wave of betrayal and anger and sadness and loss. And that is ok because that is how normal people feel.


DF - yup, we get to be triggered any and every time crap like that hits us.    Perfectly acceptable feelings if you ask me.   At least that's how I roll here in tiny town midwest, USA. 

Then life keeps right on rolling along and we embrace what we have and who we are, which is much much, more than the life they traded for. 
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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

b
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You Can't Touch This
#75: December 08, 2021, 06:46:02 PM

Here I am beating myself up because I can’t make this get easier. Maybe it is not supposed to … maybe I can just surrender to the fact that sightings of SPQ will always and forever trigger me with an unbearable wave of betrayal and anger and sadness and loss. And that is ok because that is how normal people feel.


DF - yup, we get to be triggered any and every time crap like that hits us.    Perfectly acceptable feelings if you ask me.   At least that's how I roll here in tiny town midwest, USA. 

Then life keeps right on rolling along and we embrace what we have and who we are, which is much much, more than the life they traded for.

Yes, our lives keep rolling on, and their lives keep spiraling downward.   Just imagine,  life with a cheap,  2nd rate knock off of the original Pineapple queen.  Some people have absolutely no standards.  You can't touch this 😎
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D
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You Can't Touch This
#76: December 16, 2021, 10:19:02 AM
The outlaws are home for the holidays so more contact with LB this time of year.  Although I think it is cramping his style. 

This week's drama is that S ran his phone over with a quad.  The kids' phones are on LB's plan. I was prepared to split the kids' phones in the divorce but LB refused to allow the kids on my phone plan so whatever - now it is all on LB which is fine with me.  So, S has been harassing LB non-stop to help him deal with the insurance and such.  Now he has his new phone and he had to go over to LB's Monday to set it up and mail back what is left of his old phone.  He also needs a new case and screen protector - which LB said he would take him to get Tuesday night but then he was a no show for S and has since vanished. S is running around with his brand new phone and no case or screen protector. Whatever.  Not my problem.  But I did feel bad for S as seeing S for three days in a row was clearly too much for LB.   I can only  imagine how that feels as a kid knowing that your parent can only tolerate you for so many days.  I certainly know how it feels as the wife and it sucks a lot and is soul crushing.

Saturday night D and I were wrapping presents and watching Christmas movies and LB was texting D pictures from a hotel men's bathroom. I am honestly just too embarrassed to say I know this person and was married to him.  Just down right creepy.
 
In the meantime, the church keeps calling me asking me to be on this committee and that committee and I keep saying no. It was really hard to say no the first time and just sad each time thereafter.  I have been going to a local church in town for December because I missed the whole advent wreath lighting and and I am starting to feel more comfortable there but it is still a bit strange and I am not ready to make it official.  I still miss my church but SPQ has been going the last month or so and I am not interested in seeing her at all.  So, I am trying to adjust to having lost almost everything in this MLC nightmare, even my childhood church that was mine before I was married, which is the thing I am most bitter about.

And then I received a Christmas card in the mail from SPQ's parents.  Seriously people.  SPQ's father unfriended me on social media in the MLC heyday and a few months back sent me a friend request.  Yeah nope - you already picked your side dude.  Firetruck that noise.     
               
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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You Can't Touch This
#77: December 31, 2021, 01:07:06 PM
All caught up DF.  I hope you guys had a good Christmas.
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