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Author Topic: My Story Built To Last

D
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My Story Built To Last
#60: October 21, 2021, 05:14:58 PM
Glad to hear you are recovering.  Let’s hope you have super immunity now!!

My friend is home now on oxygen. The chemo does a number on your immune system so she wasn’t able to create a lot of antibodies from the vaccine but she had some and the doctor said if she hadn’t been vaccinated it could have been a whole lot worse.

Let’s hope the worst is behind us all now!

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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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Built To Last
#61: October 27, 2021, 04:55:23 PM
Popping back on for an update.

S21 is losing a roommate and so he has asked D19 to rent his 3rd room.  So D19 will be moving out in the next month and sharing a home with S21 and Nephew20.  This will be interesting.  It's been nice to have her the extra year and a half but I knew she would fly the coop eventually.  This is a way for her to test the waters.

My townhome is close to her uni so she most likely will still drop by and hang here in between her classes and such.

It's bittersweet for sure.  They are growing up.

S16 got a job a few weeks ago and I am seeing less and less of him as well.

My M came to visit for 2 weeks and has put in an application for an apartment back here.  She will go out to visit her H frequently, but wants to live here.  There were some red flags with her short term memory while she was here, so I am a little leary of her living alone.  There are 7 others on the waiting list in front of her, so we will see what happens there.  She might be able to function for a while, but I think we should have some cameras in her kitchen, to make sure she doesn't leave the stove on.  We may need to sit down with her and have a chat about what we are seeing.  I am worried about her.

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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

H
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Built To Last
#62: October 27, 2021, 08:32:22 PM
Hi FW,

Glad to hear updates about your kids and yes they do grow up so fast.  I'm not ready for my kids age 14 and 12 to drive and eventually move out, but I know time will fly right by.  Hope it works out for your D renting the 3rd room.

Your Mom's situation is such a tough one as one's independence decreases with the aging process.  I used to work in a hospital and would always talk with families about elderly parents.   Important to try to create a safe environment at home to stay as independent as possible.  There is always some safety risk which increases in time and all you can do is be there to support your M.  It's ok to worry about her and you and your family can be there when she needs you.

HF 

 
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W - 42
M - 46
Together 19 years, M 17
2 kids
BD - July 2020
W Left Home - January 2021
W Filed for D - May 2021

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Built To Last
#63: November 11, 2021, 05:32:13 PM
I was able to get away to Breckenridge for a short girls getaway this last weekend.  So D moved out Thursday and I left Friday with a couple of gals for a getaway and came back Monday.  It was fabulous.  We had a great time.  And it kept me from moping around the house and feeling the emptiness of D being gone.

Poor D.  She moved out last Thursday and got sick over the weekend.  She came over Monday night to get a few more things and tried to smell a candle and discovered she'd lost her smell.  I sent her back to S21's home to isolate and schedule a covid test and the results came back "inconclusive" yesterday.  I was able to get SIL to do me a favor and get her in at her work for a rapid test today and it came back as Covid positive.  After isolating with S16 and I last November and then quarantining for another 2 weeks and not getting it, and then being home with me when I had it the end of September and not getting it, she then moves out and immediately gets it.  So crazy.  So far she is doing okay.  I dropped off dinner to her last night and the night before.  I'll drop some groceries over there tomorrow.
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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

5
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Built To Last
#64: November 11, 2021, 05:47:12 PM
So sorry your D is fighting the Covid battle. Wishing your D a quick and complete recovery.  Wishing you a quick adjustment period as your D moves to live somewhere else.

5hil
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Built To Last
#65: November 12, 2021, 12:40:02 AM
Oh no!  You all can not seem to catch a break, can you... And poor D... She dodged the bullet so often and now, when she is out on her own, gets whacked... NOT fun....

Hope she is better soon!

How were the aspens in Breck?
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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

D
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Built To Last
#66: November 13, 2021, 08:07:16 PM
My D will be transferring to a new college next fall and has been talking about moving closer to campus with a few friends and it just makes me so sad to think about her not being here everyday. So, I can totally relate to your empty nest feelings.

And then she goes and gets sick away from home. Your poor Momma heart!! Hope she recovers quickly without any issues.

But glad to see you out adulting with friends.
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

H
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  • Gender: Male
Built To Last
#67: November 24, 2021, 06:30:02 PM
Hi FW,

Catching up on many threads and sorry to hear about your D and glad that you were able to take care of her bringing her food and groceries.   Hope she has recovered and doing well and that you enjoy your time this Thanksgiving with family and friends.

HF
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W - 42
M - 46
Together 19 years, M 17
2 kids
BD - July 2020
W Left Home - January 2021
W Filed for D - May 2021

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  • Time is a Gift! 🎁
Built To Last
#68: December 01, 2021, 10:36:47 PM
Hi guys.  D is mostly recovered.  Unfortunately, she ended up with getting her taste back, but it's not back to normal, most everything has a rancid or garbage taste to it and makes her want to throw up.  She is struggling to find things she can eat. 

S16 is doing fantastic in his firefighter internship.  He was in the local newspaper recently as the 5 kids in the program got to do a live fire simulation and work together to put out the fire.  He is doing well balancing work, school, and his internship.

D, nephew and S21 seem to be getting along well.  Nephew talks about how D inspires him to keep his room nicer.  The 3 of them decorated for Christmas and S21 did a fantastic job with the lights on the outside of the house.  Unfortunately, their one neighbors are still being real stinkers.

Today should have been my 20 year anniversary, so I did find myself needing to post here.  It's not been too bad of a day, although I shed a tear or two on my way to work, after work was a good distraction as I spent the evening indoctrinating my SIL with episodes of Yellowstone, but on my drive home with Christmas light's outside my car windows, I did get a little teary.  I found myself wondering if xH ever even thinks of this date, and what his thoughts are in his head when it comes to this date.  *shrug*  who knows.  I called my Mom and talked to her on the rest of my drive home as she had left me a text earlier in the week wanting to catch up and I'd had something going on the last 2 evenings.

I need to catch up on everyone's posts.  I hope you all are doing well.  I can't believe that I am going into year 6 from BD.  BD is just around the corner, in two weeks.  This Season is such a minefield for trauma triggers.  I'm still very angry with him for blowing up Christmas this way, not going to lie.  Still, every year gets a little easier.  I'm thinking this one was hard because of the milestone anniversary thing and then struggling to find my Christmas Spirit with only one kiddo left in the house.
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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 11383
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't please everyone. You are NOT a pizza!
Built To Last
#69: December 02, 2021, 12:17:29 AM
Our BD's were right around the same time and I am STILL not really able to muster much "Christmas Spirit" even 5 years after the fact. The date and the occasion (2nd Advent Sunday) no longer coincide so it does make for a long week of trigger potential. This year, I am preaching on 2nd Advent so it will be ... interesting...
  • Logged
Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

 

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