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Author Topic: My Story Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7

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My Story Re: Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7
#140: November 04, 2021, 02:30:07 PM
UrsaMajor - Yes, that is a tough one for me to sometimes embrace. Yet, I also find it is something I have to, I guess train others to understand. I find quite often my desire to take time for myself isn't always respected. Maybe that is in part my own fault for not putting boundaries in place. IDK. I just know that this morning I had literally just had enough.

My F has been wanting to get a new cell phone as he has been used to having just a pay per minute plan, but would like an iPhone like my M's and she isn't about to share hers. She uses it a lot. My sister tried to tell my F he could get a different make of phone, but I nipped that in the bud, simply because I told her that when there are issues, since both of my parents understand the Apple platform with their iPad and laptop being the same, it makes it easier for me when they have problems - I can talk them through it. Unless my sister is offering to come and deal with tech issues, then I have a stronger say in this. She agreed. And it isn't that I would care if it weren't an issue of sometimes they need help on things. I could show them how to navigate any piece of technology, but I know from history that I am better off keeping it a bit more seamless.

The problem is, my F was anxious to change over since his minutes and contract on that old flip phone run out by the end of November. They have nothing else to worry about in the grand scheme, so my parents seemed to be a bit fixated on this dang phone and went off to investigate. And, of course didn't several friends and family members pipe in with the plans they have. Great. But, in this case so incredibly NOT helpful. Because my parents still travel, these people don't. I know what cell providers have coverage in the more remote areas near us. It is better than it used to be, but it's not like my M's one friend who lives in a large city in a different state.

This morning my M informed me that they had gone to another cell provider and gotten a very nice young man who told them all sorts of things. My alarms went up. Hmmmm. I am not exactly buying the whole package they were being told about. My first thought was "what is the catch". My M was ready to go sign them up and I told her that she was to wait until I found out how much it was to add a line for my F on my plan, since my M's is on there too. She somehow had it in her head that it was going to drive my plan way out of sight and I told her that I didn't think that was the case, but to let me check. My parents pay for their portion and my sister and I agreed months ago that it was probably wiser to put my parents on one of our plans to begin with.

After a meeting today, I could feel my stress level going up. D called me on my way after the meeting. Then S. Both had good reason, but I just wanted to decompress and think about what I needed to get at the home improvement store, as I was in the area. My M texted right about then and asked if I would go with my F to meet this other cell phone provider and see what they had to say. I found myself just deciding to ditch my whole day and take care of this before it became a daily discussion. But, I didn't go right to the one by the home improvement store. The sun was shining and I needed to get out of the area. I needed coffee and I needed a walk before I tackled this nonsense.

I stopped at one of my favorite coffee places at the mall and it was a bit chilly to walk outside with what I had on. It was quiet, as it was early and I decided to maybe just take a lap or two around the building and drink my coffee. I figured I would make it to the area where the indoor fireplace was and sit with my coffee and reconfigure my day. As I approached the fireplace, I caught a glimpse of someone out of the corner of my eye. As I turned around, I was met with one of the biggest smiles and I heard my name being called. I could feel the tears starting to form in the corner of my eyes. There, stood a man that I had worked with for a long time and a friend that was like a B to me. He was always an inner circle friend.

He was also someone Xh had claimed I was having an affair with. It was so unbelievable to anyone who knew this man and I. He is very happily married. As in the day rises and sets with his W and there is no doubt about it. Even if I had remotely been somehow interested in him, it was never a possibility. But the truth is, I never even considered that with any other man to begin with. I was committed to my Xh and I only had eyes for him. That is what happens when I fall in love and find myself in an exclusive situation. I might look at a man and say he is handsome, etc, but those thoughts just don't enter my mind.

When Xh accused me of having affairs with 2 men in particular he was just projecting and trying to make me look bad. He was filing subpoenas and had already presented my parents with one and was getting ready to call S into court. He had a whole list of people, this man included. I cut my ties with this particular friend to protect him from Xh's madness. His W had been very ill and he didn't need the extra BS Xh wanted to bring down on him. I didn't give an explanation at the time, but I know this friend guessed something was really off with Xh. They had met several times over the years prior to BD.

Since the divorce, etc I have only been in touch via Facebook. Mainly exchanging niceties and greetings. But, I have wanted to see him to apologize and explain why I just dropped out of sight. It has been over 5 years since I have seen or spoken to him. Today, was that day.

As he realized I was tearing up, he asked if I needed a hug. He had no idea how much I needed that right in that moment - for a variety of reasons. We sat for a bit and caught up. I told him the abbreviated version and he just looked at me with the look I should have expected from him. He said he and I were more than fine and we were good. We walked for a bit and he told me he and his W moved back to his hometown and that is why I happened to run into him today. He was on an errand for her. We parted ways and I told him to please send my regards and give her a hug from me. He laughed and said he always likes an excuse to hug his W.

I needed that today. I needed to know that I can really F up and be human and my true friends know what is in my heart.

It helped change my mood some. I pushed through the dread of going to sit at the cell phone place. I was greeted by a young woman who was willing to sit with me and really go over my plan and options with a fine tooth comb. I know I could have gone online, etc, but I really needed someone else to help me through this. I just don't have the bandwidth right now. I ended up making an executive decision and called my parents and told them the phone was going to be less than their plan from the other carrier, and I was able to get them a new phone if I covered the taxes on it today. Done. The phone gets delivered to my house and the young woman told me that I could set it up, or if I wanted she would be back in early next week and she would help my F transfer his phone number. Appointment made. I am not taking time to do it on my own. I am betting she can set it up in less time than it takes me to drive up there and go to the appointment at this rate. She was actually grateful she mentioned a dreaded survey. I laughed and said I would gladly fill out multiple surveys and make a phone call on her behalf for the level of customer service she provided.

Her help actually saved me time in the long run and I made the decision to get out of that area and travel another route home. There is a home improvement store along that road and it would allow me a much more relaxed drive. It was slightly out of the way, but I just didn't care by then.

The thing is, I could feel the tears coming. I just needed a good cry.

Yes, I need the "self-care". I know people rely on me and I offer to help willingly, but I shouldn't feel guilty about sometimes telling everyone to give me some space. I haven't had any real time to myself. And, what dawned on me is sometimes I think people have become so used to me always being around that they don't think about what my other needs might be. I seem content living life the way it is in some of their eyes. I even have friends who are convinced that I must just love being single and not having to answer to anyone. That is not the case.
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Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7
#141: November 05, 2021, 03:26:26 AM
Ah yes... The price we pay for being the rock in the midst of the storm... EVERYONE wants to use that rock as their foundation.... and, at some point, the load is simply more than the rock can take and it fractures.... MUCH better to recognize that the load is approaching critical mass and begin off-loading..

That may mean that an "executive decision" needs to be made or that a "STOP" sign is held up and a break in activities is planned (and held to)...

Or that other opinions (even well meaning ones) are put to bed with the option "OK, if YOU wish to deal with the results, by all means, go ahead but that I am OUT of the loop!" like with a new type of phone.

From the looks of it, you did well in protecting yourself AND getting Dad squared away...

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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
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BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
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Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
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Re: Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7
#142: November 06, 2021, 09:31:59 AM
Thank you, UrsaMajor.  :)

Taking charge I can do, but if it even smacks of being controlling, I have such a hard time with it. I don't like being somehow bossy or ever having anyone feel like I have some need to be the leader. I really don't like the spotlight at all. But, I also realized in this situation, if I didn't take control, I was the one who was going to be plagued with the issue for a longer period of time. I know in this case, someone had to actually take control because my parents, quite frankly, were overwhelmed with the many options and the technical jargon the sales people were telling them. My parents are not feeble, but I am finding more and more that they want simplicity when it comes to appliances, etc. They don't like feeling like they are "old" or stupid when they can't figure things out easily.

I have had to honestly keep reminding myself that me taking charge was not about controlling my parents, but controlling things that affected my life. I couldn't handle the pressure and needed to find the pressure release valve.

These little moments lately of stress or me recently expressing something so incredibly idiotic upset me. When they creep up and I just bubble over it makes me feel a little like a bit of that crazy is left over from the whole MLC experience. It truly bothers me. In those moments, which are rare, I start to feel like maybe the rest of the world must think I am as crazy as I am feeling in those times. And, once I find myself on the other side, it takes me some time to forgive myself for being a bit human. I am not by nature a controlling person nor am I a jealous person. But, in the past couple of weeks, with all of the ups and downs, there were two hiccups of coming off as controlling in one situation and a smidge of jealousy crept in in a completely separate event. I then found myself looking in the mirror and wondering who this woman was, because wow, I didn't recognize myself.

I understand now in both cases what prompted the feelings. It doesn't explain it away and somehow dismiss the behaviors. I have to live with any fall out. But, what remains is knowing that I am not happy with myself about how it crept up on me.

The bossy-like controlling behavior, I was really just pushed to my limit and I just needed something be taken off my plate at that minute. I know there is a bit of me that is struggling watching how much my parents have "aged" over the pandemic. I could look the other way and pretend it isn't happening or ignore that they sometimes need help, but that is not who I am. They have been there for me over the years, so there are times when I know that they do in fact need help as well. I am struggling finding a some balance as to where my boundaries need to be. Part of that is also being more vocal with my sister and telling her I can't do these things on my own. I dealt with the phone, she is going to have to go and help them with their cable bill, which is obscene for no reason. D went with my M a couple of weeks ago and has the information, but my M brought home the different packages to go over and she is overwhelmed. My sister can deal with that headache.

The jealousy. Hah. That was in a moment of complete insecurity on my part and has nothing to do with trusting someone else. It is so hard to explain to most people. It was more about me feeling incredibly vulnerable and not really knowing at the time what was pushing my own feelings. When I told my friend about it, she had laughed at me, but she has known me for years and said she was shocked in all honesty, because that is not me. Have I had little moments of jealousy - yes, but not quite to even this level which seems so terribly like a high school girl. She talked me off of the ledge, but I am still struggling with being mad at myself.

Those moments have passed and I am not obsessing over them, as much as looking back for a moment and wondering what it was all about, in order to try and not go down that path again.

Last night, I was on my way home and S called me. His plan was to spend the afternoon with his GF and late in the afternoon, he had a call from one of his friends. The young man was at work and a couple of hours south of where he lives. His GF, a good friend of S's from college had left college to drive the 3 hours to see him this weekend, but her car broke down in the middle of nowhere on a major highway. The young man's F was out of the area, otherwise he would have gone and this young woman's family is traveling. She was alone. S called to tell me he and his GF were going to go get this young woman, because he wouldn't want her to be alone on a desolate stretch of road at night. S and his GF borrowed a truck from the girl's grandmother and a flat-bed trailer to go haul the car and girl down here. She didn't have enough money for a tow truck, S had asked. I was happy S is such a good friend, but as a M, I was not loving the idea of it being dark and this going on, but I also understood why he was going. D, "C", who had just come in from work and I sat in the kitchen, visiting, but all waiting for S to get home. It was 6 hours before he got back home. This morning, he was exhausted and slept in. I snuck into his room, where the puppy had settled and I took her out before leaving for a hair appointment.

After running the puppy around for nearly 45 minutes, she finally came in and fell back asleep. They are not kidding when they say this breed needs nearly 90 minutes of vigorous activity minimum each day. It is not horrible. It has certainly forced me outside in the beautiful fall air and it is hard not to laugh at her when she is chasing after things. We introduced her to the pear tree, so she likes to do just what our dog did, which is to play fetch with a pear and then eats it afterwards. Watching her look at the pear after her little teeth have pierced the skin and she tastes the sweet fruit underneath is rather funny.

I walked into my hairdresser's salon and I haven't been in over 10 weeks. I don't go every month, but I try to keep it at around 8 weeks, especially now that my hair is longer. I was ready to cut it all off yesterday when I was dealing with knots that I never have. Today, I looked at her and said it was time to change things up. She had time and I decided that I was going to have it colored slightly. Nothing extreme, but my summer sun highlights are still there, and I like them, but maybe weave in some auburn tones with my natural colors. She laughed at me. I have been going to her for easily 15 years now, so she knows I don't just come in usually with this type of a "whim" request. IDK. I guess I just need do something different today.

And in that vein, Thunder will be happy to hear that tonight I will be going out to an event that is more of an adult party, where yes, stilettos will be part of the outfit. I have an art opening in the city and I am looking forward to nurturing that part of my soul. I need the change of pace.
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Re: Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7
#143: November 06, 2021, 01:15:27 PM
Oh my, a new striking hair color and stilettoes!  8)

Hope you enjoy the evening out Mourning, with no kids.  You deserve it!

You'll have to report back to us tomorrow.   ; ;D  Because we're nosy.  ha ha

Hugs
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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Re: Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7
#144: November 06, 2021, 08:42:28 PM
Thunder - The kids had plans of their own and were glad I was going out.

I was ready to go solo, when my sister called to talk about tomorrow's plans. She had wanted to go to this exhibit and asked her H if he was interested in going. He had just returned late last night from a week away and this whole month he is traveling. He was more than happy to spend time with both kids, but told my sister to go spend time with me, especially considering she was the sole parent all week long.

Then we both realized that we have been so busy planning my M's birthday that we haven't thought about their anniversary, which is on Monday. My sister is going with BIL on his business trip, so trying to figure out a time to celebrate or take them out, as we usually do was going to be a bit difficult. And, my parents probably would have said not to worry about it, but my sister and I know that being happily married for 58 years is an accomplishment and we like to acknowledge it. So, as much as we thought it would be fun to have a girls' night out, we thought we would ask my parents if they wanted to go to dinner. It has been a long time since just the 4 of us went out.

It was nice to see my parents all dressed up and they were glad my sister and I decided to meet part way and we would only take one car into the city. It made it much easier to find parking on the street the gallery is on, which is nearly impossible on a Saturday night.

As we were walking along the sidewalk, my M was telling my sister and I how nice we both looked. My M was admiring my new haircut and color. I hadn't really had too much cut off of my hair, except to add some more long layers, but my M swore it looked significantly different.

The art opening was really very nice. My parents saw several people they knew went to socialize. My sister so rarely comes to art openings. We were both admiring this one painting when my sister saw someone she knew. She turned away and I found myself standing next to the artist of this particular painting. He introduced himself and we had a nice discussion about the technique he used. As I was talking, my F came over and it would seem they know each other quite well. I have been invited to come see the gentleman's studio. Afterwards, my M was full of questions, as she noted he is very handsome and we seemed very engaged in conversation. I laughed and told her to relax and the talk was professional and I am pretty sure he is married. I didn't get that "come over to my place" vibe that might imply anything inappropriate.

My sister and I walked back to the car behind my parents, who were holding hands. My sister said she knows that the conversation I was having was purely professional. She overheard most of it and she said I was right, his responses were not a come on. She then gave me a bit of a knowing smile and said she knows I have other feelings right now that I am not sure what to do with. That sums it up.  ::)

When we arrived at the restaurant my sister and I were in having way too much fun. It was a conversation that started about a particular piece of artwork that my M was trying to figure out. It was an abstract, but if you looked carefully it was very sexual in nature. My F's explanation had us roaring, as it was matter of fact and he just switched gears as he opened the door to go into the restaurant. From there on out, it was just a whole night of my sister and I giggling.

We had forgotten to make reservations, so there was a bit of a wait. We stood near the bar waiting for a table. Two men were sitting near us and they were clearly a couple. As we stood there, they struck up a conversation. We were discussing this particular restaurant and they had no idea, nor did we that it was so popular. You really have to know it is there, but clearly it's not exactly a secret. Just as they let us know our table was ready the one gentleman leaned over and in a very theatrical tone informed me that "honey, your hair, the makeup, the stilettos, the leather pants and the top - my goodness girl, you are on point". My sister was dying. I said I was going to guess that he was possibly drunk, but I would take the compliment.

It wasn't exactly the night I had originally planned, but it still was more of an adult night out than I have had in weeks. And, my M, aside from being a bit of a backseat driver, was very relaxed and didn't talk about the usual list she has for me.

I so enjoyed myself that I came home and started looking at the different events going on in the city and around the area. I need to get out more. It isn't about the socializing per se. I just realized after tonight that I need to nurture those other parts of me. I don't need to wait for an invite to do some of these things. There are plenty of things that I can do on my own if need be. Yes, having someone to come along and share in the experience is way more fun, but I am not sitting around waiting for that to happen. I am getting tired of the status quo. It doesn't mean behaving like a MLCer. I need to work on that whole self-care aspect. Part of that for me, means feeding that part of me that needs inspiration to fuel my creativity and it means nurturing part of me that has been in hibernation- that spiritual side.

Tomorrow, I am going to my sister's earlier than the rest of the crew. I am going to help set up, but before I do that, I am leaving extra early and taking the long way to her house. I think I will grab my coffee and just drive up through the orchards and then down along the lake. If I plan it right, I will bring my camera and just take my time getting to my sister's. That extra hour with daylight savings could come in handy.  :)
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Re: Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7
#145: November 07, 2021, 04:41:49 PM
The drive to my sister's didn't quite go as planned. My desire to leave earlier than the rest of the crew didn't happen, and not because I slept in. I was ready to leave by 8 am, but other people decided to change the original plans and D and her BF caught a ride with me.

I warned them that I was going to take the long way there and drive along the lake. D was actually excited about that idea, as her BF has only ever gone down the main highway to my sister's. He has never been on a drive along that particular lake.

The weather was absolutely perfect. The leaves are starting to change more and the sun was shining. The lake was a deep blue and the sky had perfect clouds that almost looked fake. The temperature was cooler, but the sunshine streaming into the car warmed the interior so much we had the heat off and the fan on low.

The celebration for my M was really very relaxed and no one seemed in a rush to go anywhere. Football was on and some settled in the family room to watch the game as the rest of us sat in the adjoining dining area and visited.

Tomorrow and Tuesday will be long days. The set up for this next show at the gallery is a big task and it will take two of us both days to really pull it together. I am looking forward to the challenge and am glad I will be working with the one coworker who I worked resetting the other rooms recently.

I had hoped today to come home early enough to work on something at home, but when I saw how much my M was enjoying the whole day and was so incredibly relaxed, I accepted it wasn't happening and embraced a somewhat lazy Sunday. Rushing home to somehow get a little thing done suddenly didn't seem so critical. I reminded myself that life is so busy that we don't often get to spend time together as a group, especially now that the kids are all getting older. My kids both noted that they too, had things to do, but somehow those things could wait. They were enjoying their time with the family and said it felt a bit like it used to for them and I knew what they meant. It was a reference to how things used to be before life blew up. It was just an ease that hasn't completely been there in a long time.

I am grateful I said no to working Saturday. I am going to stick to my plan as best as I can and give myself a bit of a "vacation" in that I am going to allow myself some time to ease up and take some breaks. I know it is a choice and there are consequences - that is, I could probably push through some things, and I might do that here and there, but I am going to allow for some fun starting Wednesday. I have to work on Friday, but beyond that, I am leaving my schedule open and have not removed the little line on my calendar that takes up about a week. That line is the reminder to give myself permission to take time for myself without guilt. I don't know what it means and I am realistic. I know that life likes to creep in and outside things are going to try to derail some of those moments. But, I am going to strive to give myself permission to not be responsible 24/7 and hopefully the weather will cooperate. So far, the forecast is looking good for a few days, so maybe a hike. If not, I have some exhibits and places in mind. Or maybe it is just a drive. IDK. I just have to push through the next two days and then see what unfolds.  :)
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Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7
#146: November 08, 2021, 03:13:11 AM
"Girl, you are ON POINT!"

OK, knowing a few gay men, this made me laugh.... even if he was a bit inebriated, it was a compliment...

Our weather here has been cloudy, rainy and cold and most of the leaves have fallen now and done so quickly so it was kind aof a shame - not many opportunities for leaf-peeping and even less for some fall Wind Therapy... so you are lucky.

And hats off for maintaining the Self-Care momentum!
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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

M
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Re: Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7
#147: November 08, 2021, 05:19:10 PM
UrsaMajor - I do believe you are right. It was a genuine compliment and I have to admit it made me feel good. His presentation certainly made me laugh and caught me off guard.

The time change caught up with me last night and I found myself crawling into bed earlier than normal, even with the additional hour. It always throws me off completely.

D had a full day today at college and S normally stays home on Mondays until at least mid-afternoon, but his friend that he rescued the other night is going to be without a car for some time. She has classes earlier than his, but they live in the same apartment complex and are in similar programs. S had a meeting today to go to anyways, so he offered to drive back early and let her catch a ride. I suspect for the next couple of weeks, she will be tagging along. Her BF is S's friend and her grandmother lives nearby. S said it was nice to have company on the long commute.

I went into work and my gallery coworker and I really went to town. We have more to do tomorrow, but what we accomplished was actually pretty impressive, TBH. Normally, it takes two solid days just to reset that large space, but we think very similarly in the way that we work, and neither of us have a need to have something a certain way, so it is really very easy. We laughed a lot.

My M checked in midday and told me how happy she was having had the whole family together. She mentioned that my F had an email this morning from the artist that I had spoken to. She said he had invited my F for coffee and noted that he had spent a great deal of time talking to me and really enjoyed our conversation. I got off the phone and sort of laughed. My coworker asked what that was about and I said that my M hates that I am alone and she thinks every man that I have a conversation with might be a good man for me. I laughed and told her last week my M asked me if the plumber was single.  ::) Of course being a smart-a$$, I told her yes, that is why I thought I would answer the door with nothing on under my dress. My F thought that was rather funny. I am not sure she saw the humor. LOL.

My coworker asked me who this particular artist is that I was talking to. When I told her, I could see her eyes get as big as saucers. She said she knows his work and he is a writer as well. Yah, I knew that. She honestly was more intrigued by his technique and said he has to be fascinating. She kid me for a bit, but she knows me pretty well by now. I am not on some quest. She knows I am wrestling with other feelings that I have and I won't even consider dating anyone until I have figured out what I have to do. If I let go, it will mean I will shut that door and that is not an easy thing for me to necessarily do just because I know myself. If I say I am done, then I don't look back.

Someone said to me recently that maybe Xh and I would reconcile. They just don't believe that I don't want that relationship ever again. They based this on the past and because Xh and I were once so happy. They really don't know me at all. It may have taken me time, but I moved way past that part of my life. It is not because of resentment or bitterness or any of those emotions. I simply decided I was truly done and closed that book. The memories are on a shelf that are the one's I want to remember and I have the emotional scars that hurt sometimes, but I am okay. I want something else and this whole "never say never" belief this person has is one they shouldn't bet on. I know myself pretty well. I have never gone back, ever with anything I completely decide is finished.

I mentioned to my M that the other night at the gallery, I actually had some anxiety that crept in. I don't like crowds of people and never have loved them. It wasn't overly packed, so that was not what had my stress level up some. I had seen from afar about 3 different people I knew through Xh. I don't believe Xh has been in contact with them, but I really don't know. I wasn't really prepared for those possible encounters. I only spoke to one of them and fortunately before any real conversation could be had, they were called over by the gallery owner to introduce them to an artist. The other two, they happened to be going out as I was coming in and we simply said hello. What struck me was how much I didn't want to have to somehow talk about the divorce in any manner, etc. I wanted to just be MD and not the XW or affiliated with Xh at that point. It was a desire to move past that part of life, if just for an evening. Where MLC and the past could just be that - the past.

Tonight, I found myself greeted by the 4 legged guest. D had forgotten to lock the crate door. I half expected to find a mess of things chewed up or other types of disasters. It would seem she simply had grabbed one of my sweaters out of the laundry basket and was snuggled up with it. When I came through the door she herded me to the couch where she wanted to snuggle. I swear it is a conspiracy. The kids and this puppy are in cahoots. Oh, I know this puppy is going back with her rightful owner, but I am convinced that they are trying to wear me down. Okay - it is working. I will admit it. LOL
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« Last Edit: November 08, 2021, 05:50:19 PM by MourningDove »

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Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7
#148: November 09, 2021, 01:09:10 AM


You KNOW you are just looking for an excuse <snort!>

I get the "Can we just leave the past in the past please for a while?" thing.... Had a bit of a similar encounter yesterday with the outcome that "Yes, I did end up with 2 wonderful kids out of the thing" but geez....  ::)

Sounds like you had a good thing going with the coworker - good that Miss-Management wasn't involved...

As for the reconciling thing.... Uhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm ...


I hear that.... Good memories aside, unless the Mid-Lifer really does the work they need to do, why would you (or I) want to stick that barbecue fork in our eye AGAIN?
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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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Re: Every Storm Runs Out of Rain - 7
#149: November 09, 2021, 04:41:56 PM
Oh, UrsaMajor- you are not helpful at all. LOL.

We have discovered that this puppy is very true to her breed. They are known to be incredibly smart and capable of figuring things out - like how to open her crate. Twice now she has managed to unlock the door and escape. Yesterday, I thought it was because D left the door unlocked accidentally. I put the puppy to bed and double checked the lock. Hmmm- this morning at 4:30 am I found "Harriet Houndini" had escaped her cage and was happily waiting for me to take her out.

The past couple of days have been exhausting. It is a huge job hanging these shows and I told my coworker I can meet her tomorrow for a couple of hours more tweak the layouts on a couple of walls in the main space, followed by rearranging some of the other smaller areas. We really approached the whole process very differently and she was laughing because we both think very similarly in terms of how to tackle it. The owner came down to take a peak and she sat down. She is a tough critic and was quiet at first and then we watched a smile appear. She informed us she was incredibly impressed and it was the best show she has ever seen hung in the gallery in all of the years she has been in business. We were both stunned and speechless. The owner told me several more times during the day how incredibly happy she was with the results.

Why this is a big deal for my coworker and I is we were filling some pretty big shoes, as our former coworker was considered the expert in this area.

The pat on the back was not necessary, but we both agreed that it made all of the hard work worth it. We also had some help yesterday from someone who wanted to see what the process was like. They left saying they had no idea how a really good exhibit is set up and that there is a true art form to it. We tried to explain to them how you have to almost think of it like writing a story and organizing how the chapters transition and flow.

Of course, my day didn't exactly flow into a nice quiet evening. I had to cancel the appointment for my F's phone, as I was held up at work too late. I now have moved that for later tomorrow, after working for a couple of hours. I had to work completely around my parent's schedule, which is shockingly booked solid. My sister had offered to help, but she is out of town for the next week, so it is falling on me to resolve.

D is in a positively miserable mood tonight, having had a very long day herself and it is the end of the semester which makes for stressed out students - I know the formula. She is wanting to pick a fight. I am wanting to just run from the house screaming. I know on my way home, I was so wanting to call up Xh and tell him he needed to step up because I am just over it all.

But, I am holding on to the positives tonight as much as I can. Earlier in the day one of my favorite artists came in and she knew my coworker and I were there today. She came in to drop off work, but she had made us a special treat. She is in her eighties and this was a tart recipe that her grandmother taught her how to make. She stayed and chatted while we worked and she started talking about her H, who died many years ago. She said he was very handsome, but that was never what drew her to him. It was that he made her laugh. My coworker is very happily married. This artist and I are very similar and before she left she gave me a hug and said she hoped that I found someone like her H - someone who made me laugh every day because I deserve to have someone by my side.

I am going to try and grab ahold of the bits of my day tomorrow and embrace what I can. I am determined to try and reclaim part of my original plan to take time for myself.

Right now, I am going to focus on avoiding D. I have already told her I am not engaging in this type of back and forth. I don't have it in me. I know that if she pushes, it will be incredibly unproductive. I don't have it in me to do battle, especially when it is all about her needing to just blow off steam.

If it weren't pitch black outside, I would take "Houndini" outside for a long walk.

Maybe a fire in the fire pit and a glass of wine is in order. Hmmmm.  ;)
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