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Author Topic: My Story Aliens stole my W!!!!! Part 12: Klaatu Barada Nikto!!!

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My Story Aliens stole my W!!!!! Part 12: Klaatu Barada Nikto!!!
#70: November 24, 2021, 09:37:59 PM
and JB doesn't abide fake trees.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That's awesome. LOL!!

I was the same way, until I didn't have a car that could haul a big tree (which has been so many years).

Hey HF  :D
Yeah, the cookie making didn't go according to plan..... she bombed out and procrastinated all night until finally opting out of helping make cookies.  ::)
Just too much energy, too much emotion (I guess) and too many memories.
I made all the dough myself (four batches of toll house cookies) and set it to chill overnight. Guess who's going to be baking them in the morning....... not me. That's going to be fun.  :P She's going to love that. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

One batch at a time...

-SS
 
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M - 44
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BD - 27th April 2019
Start of Shadow - Feb 2012

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Aliens stole my W!!!!! Part 12: Klaatu Barada Nikto!!!
#71: November 29, 2021, 09:27:04 PM
Journaling: Another week in the can..... and a full week it was (on all fronts)  :)

Thursday Night:
Thanksgiving is in the bag..... what a nice time too. A lot of little things (it's always little) that illuminate..... bits.  :P

W got up early, early this morning (3am or shortly after), I woke up but didn't know what time it was. I mentioned the cookie dough was ready for her.... HAHAHAHAHAH!! Now I didn't mean to spring this on her at 3am, but what do I know, I was half asleep. She responded with an angry "it's 3am!!"..... oh.... LOL!!
Well, as luck would have it..... when she got up for real five hours later..... she got to baking (I had gotten up later and set the oven to pre-heat for her though).
That's nice, she's doing some work. That's good. We packed up the little dog and off we went with him crying and whining all the way.

It was an enjoyable day, and the little dog had a BLAST. Ran around with other dogs, no accidents, the food was good, the company was good. A good day.
Interestingly enough, W butted in on a few conversations about "who made what", and to her credit, she said "SS made the cookies". Wow. The last couple years, I never received direct credit for anything, if there was something good, then it would always be "WE" did such and such....... and of course that would always be with her doing nothing. In this case, she listed every part and every step that I had did, and wanted to make sure I received credit for it (and the cookies were a big hit). It's just nice that she noticed. It's so easy to be taken for granted completely, and you get used to it. Just nice, and a change (a small one).

W made it thru a seven hours of the visit, and made ornaments with the kids (something she, and they, love doing each year). Great to see her connect and really find some of that joy which always seems to miss her.

When we got home, then she needed to collapse (and did), and so did the little dog.... HAHAHAHAH!! She found him sprawled out and deep asleep shortly after getting home. What a nice way to end the day for him.  8)

A little happiness, a little joking and kidding around, and a little recognition. I'd say this was a fine day.

Friday:
The good times keep rolling: W went on a walk with the dog and me (a rarity), and even bought me a smoothie while out shopping with her sister. It's nice to be thought of....... of course it could have just been because SIL asked if I'd like one or something like that, but I'll take it for what it is: It was delicious!! HA!! 

Weekend:
Back to the gym in full force!!! Two days in a row of burning 4K calories a day. YES!! Feels good to be really hitting it hard once again.
I'm starting a new full body workout routine starting Wednesday, looking forward to that... it's a shredding program, lifting heavy and eating very lean for a month. Very exciting!! I joined an online program to track and schedule all these exercises. Going to be pushing myself very hard this month.  ;D 
W has been all over the place..... and she was open enough for me to see her flipping up and down, back and forth.
Very interesting....... She made very direct statements of "I'm old"...... not I'm getting old, not I'm feeling old.....  just "I'm old".  :-X
Then she decided to look at her family history by looking at tombstones online of everyone she's related to.  :o Reflecting on each..... noting how old each one was when they passed. How morbid!!
She shared more of her writings and poems with me, evidently she's writing up a storm, almost every night. It all has to do with letting go and being enough with who you are and not chasing things that are unreachable. This are some good outlooks, maybe some growing up is happening (maybe), certainly she is trying to tackle issues within herself. It is messy.
Tons of flipping, stating she wants to do something in particular and then being too tired or paralyzed to actually do it.
Tonight however, she cooked dinner (which only happens a couple times a year at most. That was really nice.

I've been think about all the "stages" that I have seen since everything started...... she has.....Hmmmmmm..... come a long way? I can count on two hands different distinct "phases" that she has passed thru. They are all quiet different from one another, but difficult to classify. The affair phase has had lots of different stages. Where she is in that is really hard to understand (lack of info), but I have seen elation, crashing/sorrow, blame, anger, running...... I've seen an alcohol phase, and the desire to have friends phase, the workaholic phase several times, the want to abandon and start over phase, the need for forgiveness phase, and now this deeper questioning/reflection phase. I'm sure it'll make more sense further on down the road...... I certainly couldn't see as much as I can now earlier. So interesting.
I remember in the beginning the desire to know what "stage" the MLC'er is in was so interesting and paramount..... now it's like "eh..... whatever stage is whatever stage....... she's not done yet"........ HA!!  :P Or as Elvira says on my favorite pinball game "Wake me up when you're done"..... HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Well, Christmas is almost here, my present shopping is almost done and still no work about when she's going. I have to believe that's still going to happen, but what if this is the year the chain of being gone is broken? That'll be an interesting bridge to cross when it finally comes. LOL!!  ;D No expectations, I expect less than nothing. HA!!

One day at a time,

-SS
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M - 44
Together 25 years, M 23
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BD - 27th April 2019
Start of Shadow - Feb 2012

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Aliens stole my W!!!!! Part 12: Klaatu Barada Nikto!!!
#72: November 30, 2021, 04:02:02 AM
Ss- Great update!!! Sounds like a really good “normal type” holiday. Who would of thunk it????
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H-54 W-58  M 7/6/91 Kids d-30 s-28 d-14 (dies 2009)
2013- moments of disconnect start
Aug 2016 promotion requires travel   
Oct 2017-total disconnect
Jan 2018- moved out H
Mar 2018- BD1 found old phone 3 EA ‘17-H in therapy
EA ow1-49,  EA-ow2 57, (EA- ow3-58 not reciprocated)
Sept ‘18 -2nd Home in new state H new job
Oct 2018-H moves home
Oct 2020 BD2 does not return home from B trip
Nov 2020 H move to 2nd home in other state OW4
Div filed-Dec ‘20   Div final-Feb ‘21
Oct 2021- XH moves in OW4
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11796.

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Aliens stole my W!!!!! Part 12: Klaatu Barada Nikto!!!
#73: November 30, 2021, 07:30:44 AM
Great update, SS. I'm hopeful for you that W's acceptance of who she is is a step forward for your relationship. Sending positive vibes to you guys.

You also point out the benefit of a move-out MLCer: The only stage I'm aware of (for now) is "not here." :D

JB
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Aliens stole my W!!!!! Part 12: Klaatu Barada Nikto!!!
#74: November 30, 2021, 08:26:25 AM
Nice SS...your writings about the little dog always make me smile as well.

The benefit of seeing the MLCer from time to time is that it allows us insight into them.....they are still "in there". We see glimpses of it and it's hard not to hope that they will someday come through all this, and for those of us who want it, that they will someday be able to enter into a relationship with us again.

Have a great and blessed holiday season!
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

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Aliens stole my W!!!!! Part 12: Klaatu Barada Nikto!!!
#75: December 03, 2021, 08:51:53 AM
Journaling:

Last night was an event we used to go to for years.... a big Christmas light display. I really love stuff like this, makes me happy, puts me in the Christmas mood  ;D

Well, since BD...... I have gone alone...... Covid or no Covid (LOL). This year I bought two tickets on two different nights. I don't mind going twice (at all) and figured I may be able to get her to go for one of them..... well last night I did  8)

Very interesting to watch her reactions.
She almost skipped out, and watching her attempt to wiggle out of it..... I would let her out of it if she asked, but I wasn't going to just let her out of it too easily. As the time approached to go (entry is at a specific time due to Covid), she began to complain about being tired, and about it being cold. The SS of before would have asked if she didn't want to go..... and in years earlier (after BD) it still probably would have been appropriate, but not now....... so I packed her up and into my car we went (I drove since she was tired). As we drove, she started complaining about feeling sick. Now isn't that interesting? I am under the belief that is was psychological, the stress of doing something with a lot of memories attached. This "feeling" on her part increased right to the point of arriving and walking to the entrance.  After going inside *POOF* she wasn't feeling sick anymore. Funny how that works. She later explained that the walking must have helped. No, that wasn't it at all. It was facing a stressor head on.

The event was really nice, I absolutely love things like this. At one point there was a young couple with a little kid, trying to take a photo.... so I offered to take a picture of all three of them...... W jumps in to take the photo and afterward they offer to return the favor. W looks resistant and a little panicked....  so I answer "yes"  ;D HA!! We get our photo taken on my phone, the 1st of us together in a very long time. Right after this, *POOF*, W is running away, fast. Not a word.  :o
She comes back saying she dropped her glove, maybe, I think the whole thing was a bit too much (in the moment).
By the end of the event, she had loosened up a bit. That was very nice, and she was totally drained and wanted to sleep (which later she was unable to sleep, poor thing).
 
Just interesting to see how they deal with a little push, even if it's an enjoyable one. What was normal and fun, can be so nerve wracking and they want to avoid it. I hope that once they face it, move thru it, they'll find something on the other side. In this case, I think that did happen. It wasn't too much, wasn't too little, it was just right.  :D

One day at a time,

-SS
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Aliens stole my W!!!!! Part 12: Klaatu Barada Nikto!!!
#76: December 03, 2021, 12:07:34 PM
Sounds like a good night, SS.

I guess it makes sense that just like the LBS needs (or may need) some prodding to get a life and get themselves on the path to recovery, the MLC needs it even more so. With much more damage, they need much smaller steps and a much longer time.
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