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Author Topic: My Story Scamnesia

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My Story Scamnesia
OP: November 22, 2021, 07:27:46 PM
Prior thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10102.0

Topic title is tongue-in-cheek but overall, if you've followed my threads, you know I hold the MLCers accountable. I do believe this all happens because of varying degrees of chemical imbalance, limerence, underlying psych issues, FOO, and just because they can. ;) Follow your guts, take care of your finances, and DETACH!
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Scamnesia
#1: November 23, 2021, 02:11:48 AM
Attaching.....

Haiku you said? 5-7-5?

Face facts and being
Accountable is something
M L C'ers can't do
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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Scamnesia
#2: November 23, 2021, 03:19:59 AM
Agreed! There is a loss of a moral compass for these MCL’ers. There is something or many things eating at their souls that have nothing to do with their partners. I’m not sure now looking and evaluating if empathy was something my XH ever truly had. Something I will recognize going forward if and when I find a new person to go forward with
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H-54 W-58  M 7/6/91 Kids d-30 s-28 d-14 (dies 2009)
2013- moments of disconnect start
Aug 2016 promotion requires travel   
Oct 2017-total disconnect
Jan 2018- moved out H
Mar 2018- BD1 found old phone 3 EA ‘17-H in therapy
EA ow1-49,  EA-ow2 57, (EA- ow3-58 not reciprocated)
Sept ‘18 -2nd Home in new state H new job
Oct 2018-H moves home
Oct 2020 BD2 does not return home from B trip
Nov 2020 H move to 2nd home in other state OW4
Div filed-Dec ‘20   Div final-Feb ‘21
Oct 2021- XH moves in OW4
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11796.

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Nas

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Scamnesia
#3: November 23, 2021, 06:56:22 AM
Attaching.....

Haiku you said? 5-7-5?

Face facts and being
Accountable is something
M L C'ers can't do

So far you’re earning an A+, UM.

I’m loving the wordplay theme of your thread, R2T. 😉
In all seriousness, there are some poetic forms that can help with feeling stuck, ruminating and other lbs pitfalls.
I wrote sestinas in the early days to help with the repeating questions and wtf statements I found running through my head often.
6 stanzas of 6 lines each, ending with a 3 line stanza, for a total of 39 lines.
The last words of each line have to repeat in a very specific pattern:
   1 2 3 4 5 6
    6 1 5 2 4 3
    3 6 4 1 2 5
     5 3 2 6 1 4
      4 5 1 3 6 2
      2 4 6 5 3 1
Then the 3 line stanza at the end uses 2 of the end words in each line:
        6, 2
        1, 4
        5, 3
Having to purposefully choose words and follow a pattern takes you out of the anxious thought loop that can be difficult to get out of while trying to make sense of the nonsense. It sounds crazy but I really found it helpful as a newbie. For anyone feeling stuck, it can’t hurt to try!
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« Last Edit: November 23, 2021, 07:10:34 AM by Nas »

A
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Scamnesia
#4: November 24, 2021, 03:42:06 AM
  if you've followed my threads, you know I hold the MLCers accountable.

Ha!  You and me both, R2T!

In fact, I value accountability so highly that I am willing to bet all my dark chocolate in the cupboard for my assertion that, without accountability, there is very slim chance of resolving the issues of the crisis, whether it be MLC or LBSC.  Own them all without lining up and parading excuses and blaming, then, only then, you can start your journey to true healing.

I wholeheartedly agree with the rest of your post.  MLC has many factors that are unique to each individual. 

Hey, Nas the WordPlay lady, how about an example?
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« Last Edit: November 24, 2021, 03:44:34 AM by Acorn »
Feb 2015: BD. 
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

H never left home.

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Nas

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Scamnesia
#5: November 24, 2021, 05:35:24 AM


Hey, Nas the WordPlay lady, how about an example?

😂😂😂
The form is French and some of the best examples are also… So for added fun, and to really take yourself out of anxious thought loop, you can find a French example and translate it to English. 😉

A Miracle for Breakfast by Elizabeth Bishop is a nice example of this form.
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