Glad the walk helped.
Have you already taken legal advice about what a legal separation means in practice and requires from you? If not, that’s probably a priority. Getting the info gives you time to think about it and consider how you want to tackle that.
I’m sorry bc I know it wasn’t what you wanted to hear but you may find that it breaks the sense of limbo too. 

I wouldn’t ascribe too much into her tears or hugs tbh. MLC or not, these kinds of conversations are emotional for everyone involved to some degree, right? Keep reminding yourself to focus on her feet not her mouth.

And tbh, if you were to believe what all of the MLC folks have said as they blew up our lives and ran out of the door, you are dealing with the most horrible, worthless, controlling, burdensome and plain mean set of LBS humans here. Awful people. Terrible partners. Not worth spit.  including me. 

Oh yes thanks for these words. I almost forgot it, here in this forum we are the worse gathering of villains that the world has ever seen, all of us are second cousins to the devil , and LBS actually means Loathsome Brothers & Sisters .

Totally agree with Marvin. I spent years "studying" because, in hindsight, that was an active way for me to continue to participate in this process. But especially once you're going through the legal end of all of this, you absolutely have to take a position that is not about MLC. It puts you at a huge disadvantage in mitigating the damages and preparing yourself for the rest of your life (ask me how I know!  ). To answer your question as to whether you have a right to stop the financial bleeding, that's something you and your attorney need to discuss. Sometimes instead of the tug-of-war of maintaining the living situation and status quo, we have to open our minds to what choices would we have if we were participating in our own best interests. There is no outcome that will be the total end of the world, so long as you believe that you will be able to rebuild your life and be happy again, no matter what. The thing that sucks the most has already happened, for all of us. Embrace the change.

I am so sorry you are going through this.  For my own experience, I missed the beginning signs and attributed them to stress and anger over what was happening with Covid.  I do wonder how that time period played into people's lives as a contributor or a mask. 

I’m living this nightmare right now.  She filed over a year ago.  But won’t leave.  We’ve spent ~$60k in legal fees and are no where close to this thing being resolved. 

She won’t stop either.  She can’t stop herself.  It’s war war war with the attorneys.  But she won’t actually leave. 

Like Ursa said.  She field a motion to request documents that I was supposed to share (more legal fees losses involving the lawyers). But we’re supposed to share the docs at the same time.  And I asked if she has done hers (keep in mind that was 10 months post filing, simple documents). Alas, she had not.  So while my docs had been ready since a month after filing.  Hers docs were not after 10 months.  And she filed a motion to force me to share docs when hers weren’t ready?   The docs ended up being exchanged a month or two later once she prepared hers.  Another $2k down the toilet.   I’m sorry but this behavior is absolutely insane. 

One theory is perhaps the legal battle is feeding her narcissistic supply, seeing as though she’s not getting any of it from me.  This could be her way of getting that sweet supply. 

Everyone here keeps talking about protecting themselves financially.   How am I supposed to do that when the losses are legal fees, where it’s perfectly legal to use marital resources to burn through???  And I am not legally allowed to cut her off?   This thing is soul destroying….

Some days I’m not sure how to carry on. Most days I’m living my life as if and actually doing pretty great. 

It’s just the entire process.   It’s mind blowing.  It’s the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. 

At some level most people can bucket someone’s behavior.  2.5 years of studying MLC.  I just can’t figure it out.  It the strangest human behavior I’ve come across and it makes no sense.  Even a crazy persons behavior makes sense.  Because they’re crazy right!  But a MLCer?  Like what in gods name is that?