Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses

Midlife Crisis => Our Community => Topic started by: Watcher on October 04, 2021, 12:19:19 PM

Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 04, 2021, 12:19:19 PM
Yesterday was half marathon #25. The morning started with a thick fog which made driving difficult. I exited the fog after some time and drove into the sun as it rose over the Atlantic Ocean and it's rays were blinding as it covered the roadway in yellow and just as thick as the gray fog.

I finally arrived at the beach and was met by a red 🦊 which is supposed to be good luck. Well IDK about yesterday.

The race started at 9am. I think I've picked up a lot of bad habits running by myself. Maybe I need to start running listening to music again.

This race had official pacers and that distracted me. Instead of running my race I was too focused on the pacers I think. This was my first organized half marathon since March 2020.

The humidity was really bad and the stations only offered water which did not help as Gatorade would have been more beneficial on a day like yesterday. I developed leg cramps around mile 11 as dehydration was probably setting in.

There was no shade on this course and the sun was booming. It's funny, the temps were probably only 75 degrees and I still got a new layer of color. I did see many people walking towards the end so I know I was not the only one impacted by the conditions.

I was all kinds of sore and tired afterwards and that was a bit unusual for a half marathon. I think I maybe out of race shape, which is kind of foolish, since I'm only competing against myself. I definitely came out of the gate too fast as I really ran well during the first 4 miles.

The AC Marathon is in 2 weeks and my long runs during training have not been that great so IDK. Yesterday certainly didn't give me any encouragement for the marathon. I will definitely have to use a different approach for that one.

The 2022 London Marathon Lottery opened up this week. It's only open for 5 days. So I filled out my ballot and I had to put down American. However it then asked me to specify my ethnicity.

So the only two options were Irish and Other. LOL, those British ! What are they up to with that question ? That answer can go either way. Are they going to favor those with Irish descent or punish them, lol. Is this an Irish need not apply Marathon ?

That drawing is not until February so we shall see what the Brits are up to in due time.

In other news, her typical cycles are afoot as she is locking the boys down again and S18 has gone along with her program which leads me to conclude that his progress was just an illusion.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Rosetintedglasses on October 04, 2021, 04:36:03 PM
Found you Watcher.

I am behind with your story but I am with you now so that’s the main thing.

Glad you are still running. I’ve missed you.
Rose 🌹
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: FaithWalker on October 04, 2021, 08:52:07 PM
Attaching
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: UrsaMajor on October 05, 2021, 01:09:54 AM
Coming along for the next installment of ....

"Marathon Man?"

I hope that S18 can rebel a bit and break free...
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Reinventing on October 06, 2021, 01:16:00 AM
Glad to hear from you again, Watcher. I was not surprised and was amused at you competing differently due to competing with the pacers. Yes, weather and crowds can tremendously change how a run feels and goes.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Tornup on October 06, 2021, 09:15:15 AM
I envy those that can run. I can walk fast, but that is it! Attaching to follow :)
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 07, 2021, 05:31:34 AM
Hi Rose, FaithWalker, UrsaMajor, Reinventing, Tornup.

Well I noticed during my past 2 races that I'm also distracted by runners having conversations so I need to start listening to music again to drown it out. These two guys were droning on and on about work and IDK if they lost me or I lost them but I knew it wasn't going to work out.

During the prior 10K I had two women discussing this romance novel. It was about a man who loved a woman, who married another man. Then the husband died, she moved away, and that stalker man, because that it what he really is ladies, spent his life looking for his lost love. Just wow.

Luckily that was a 5k/10k combo and they were running the 5k and we went our separate ways, hahaha. Throw in those pacers during the half marathon and I was a mess, lol.

I have run 515 miles for this upcoming marathon. I had run 800 miles prior to the 2020 marathon and only 300 miles prior to the 2019 marathon so I should be ok but I'm not feeling to sure of myself yet.

So yesterday S18 did goto his dermatologist appointment in the morning. He also went for his lab work last week. He is also no longer pursuing his driver's license as he gave me every 'my dog ate my homework' excuse in the book a few weeks ago.

He texted me wanting to know where I was at as I must have been running late. Then when I arrived I had to wait 15 minutes for him since his mom was home. Games. He gets in the car and tells me his mom had him wear pants instead of shorts and that was the delay. Control.

The appointment went fine and this is month #4 of treatment so there should be a November visit and a December review and then we will see what happens next. We should be done. It's only a 5 month treatment plan.

I took him back home because he has online courses and we had to wait for his mom to come home to let him in the house. Control. Now she probably had taken S21 to college since he was not home. She pulled up behind my car and I was like, you gotta go, lol. She never gets out of her car anyway.

I went to kickboxing later in the afternoon and we had made plans for dinner afterwards. Well he texted me after I got out of class and canceled because she was going to make dinner. It's funny because he canceled for himself but did not know if that meant S21 would also cancel.

He has a very odd way of phrasing his texts with me so my replies are usually just an, ok no problem, since I know he is under duress.

So the high mania of late August has subsided and we are in angry vindictive mode which is probably depression I guess or she could be just a b!tch. ::)

When he canceled his DMV appointment a few weeks ago I realized that her cycles are never going to end. It's been 6+ years of the same cycling. So the boys will need a father again when she is back in mania and who knows when that will be.

S18 next appointment is November 10th so I don't expect to hear from him until then and hopefully we can at least finish his treatment.

Enjoy your day everyone
Thank you

Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: PJ Ames on October 08, 2021, 12:11:37 PM
Along for the run.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 11, 2021, 02:49:29 PM
Hi PJ.

No running for me this weekend as I rested. It was actually nice to have 2 whole days of not feeling any kind of soreness. Unfortunately I ate 3 donuts yesterday so I was back in the gym this morning and lost two of them. Two off days in a row is the max.

I'm trying not to feel too rested nor too tired for the marathon on Sunday.  Three more days this week at Kickboxing where I try to focus just on my chest, arms and abs while leaving my legs alone.

My friend believes this one instructor does not like men however I'm beginning to think she doesn't like women. Today I was the only man in the class so I was thinking would she really be punishing me or the 15 women in class. Hmm....

Well if it feels sore that means it's working. That's what they tell me anyway. My wireless earbuds arrived yesterday so I will now have music while running.

The weather looks good for this weekend and 8 of the miles are run on the boardwalk. The current song is 'Buy Dirt' and it would have been better had Jordan Davis carried it by himself. Luke Bryan kind of ruined it but it's still a good song.

Enjoy your day

Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Dumbfounded on October 11, 2021, 07:21:03 PM
Attaching.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 12, 2021, 08:00:21 PM
Hi Dumbfounded.

I was looking at this marathon course map today. Miles 1-7 are run through the streets and miles 8-13 are on the boardwalk. It then goes back to the streets for miles 14-22 and finishes with miles 23-26 back on the boardwalk. I ran a 5k on this boardwalk in 2018 and finished in 3rd place for my age group.

There are 19 aid stations and 13 music venues along the course. This is a 8am start with temps at 52 degrees, which is good, and they rise to 62 degrees with full sun. I have a 10 minute walk to the start/finish line so I don't have to be there at 530am like I did at Philadelphia in 2019.

This is advertised as the 3rd oldest marathon in the United States with it's inception in 1958. I think this is a small marathon with only 619 finishers listed in 2019. Philadelphia had 14,000+ finishers when I ran in 2019.

I was originally signed up for the NJ Marathon which was to be held on this same weekend but was canceled so I'm sure a fair amount of people took the transfer offer to the AC Marathon.

I don't think I trained properly this Summer but I looked at my stats from 2019 and 2020. The training this year was very similar to that in 2019 so I should be fine.

There is a 5k and 10k on Saturday and both a half and full marathon on Sunday so there should be a fair amount of runners. This was offered to me as a replacement race in August so I'm not too familiar with it.

The indoor expo is on Friday and Saturday and already had to be moved outdoors due to covid but I think there is no turning back from holding the race at this point. It's such a production to pick up the racing bib.

I went to kickboxing this morning and I will shut it down now and await the weekend.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: KeepItTogether on October 13, 2021, 10:06:00 AM
Good luck on your marathon Watcher. I know you'll do great.  I was just in AC in June. 
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 14, 2021, 12:06:33 PM
Hi KIT.

The 2019 Philadelphia Marathon medallion was the Liberty Bell. It's very impressive and quite heavy. The 2020 Marine Corps Marathon medallion was the Marine Corps emblem with Iwo Jima sand inside the globe.

The AC Marathon medallion is a lighthouse, lol. Oh 'Be the Lighthouse'. I may just stop at 25 miles as an act of civil Hero Spouse disobedience. People are excited because it actually lights up. Well mine better look like the Titanic sitting on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

Yes 'Be the Titanic' may have confused some people when they arrived here but they would have gotten used to it, lol.

I twerked something on Tuesday in the gym but my leg feels fine today. I was a little nervous. My coworker is a 45 yr old Crossfitter and he is just breaking down. He had back surgery during the Summer, he then purchased a Peloton which broke, so he then went running and injured his hip.

Shalane Flanagan is a 40yr old woman who is running all 6 World Majors within 42 days. The Chicago lottery opens on Oct 19th. So I was thinking I could be the guy who just wins all the lotteries and actually doesn't run the races.

I see this woman visiting her father since we had that flood in early September. She was 17 and I 15 a very long time ago. We did not date but we always accompanied the couple who was dating that Summer. She went away to college and I went back to high school where I then boarded the Titanic.

Enjoy your day

Thank you
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 15, 2021, 05:10:12 PM
I found this Irish Pub which was a 1920"s speakeasy. The wood is all cherry wood and its dimly lit with Tiffany lamps. Old newspapers are imprinted on the ceiling. This is how Darth Vader must have felt in the bacta tank.

It looks like Joe DiMaggio was a regular here as his memoribila adorns the walls. This place is called the Irish Pub and Inn. Rooms go for $36 dollars a night but there are no bathrooms. Apparently people didn't bathe back in the 1920"s. I'm not staying here because I'm not that hardcore into history.

Even the tiled floors are amazing. Someone just ordered a Yuengling and IDK how they are not being ushered out of this bar, lol. Yes my spell check is working overtime and this post is taking forever.

One of the perks of preparing for a marathon is drinking Guinness pints on a Friday night. The Guinness here is phenomenal as was the Irish coffee. Oh if the marathon were tomorrow it would be interesting. It could be a sub 4 hour or a disqualification, lol.

See, you too could enjoy a Guinness pint if you trained for a marathon.

I wonder if they have Guinness in Berlin. I already picked up my bib for Sunday. Apparently Bally's has a beach bar and that's where it was but I read online that this place was a hidden gem.

The Irish coffee was also great and ,yes, that is also a prerequisite for marathon training. This training is not for the feint of heart. I'm not going to remember this tomorrow so I need to journal it now.

So if you visit AC, you have to visit this Irish pub on St James Place. You too will know how Darth Vader felt in the bacta tank, lol. Tomorrow will not be as exciting.

OMG, edit for misspelled words is so annoying.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 17, 2021, 05:09:42 PM
This morning we had 52 degrees at the start of the marathon after it was 84 degrees on Saturday. I was reading last night that I should wear 2 pairs of socks and so I did. The idea with 2 pairs of socks on is that they absorb the friction, as opposed to one pair, where the sock and sneaker absorb the friction. I have to say it worked. No issues with my feet at all.

I also read that I should carry Tylenol with me as I ran. IDK if that helped or not. Maybe Advil or Motrin would have been better. I wore shorts since I had no pants with me, but I would never run in pants again. The air dries the legs and therefore no moisture is collecting like it would with pants.

I wore a long sleeve leotard type of running shirt to keep the wind off of me with a short sleeve tech shirt over it.

The marathon started on the boardwalk in front of Bally's and there were a few thousand people since it was also a half marathon. We didn't stay long on the boardwalk and exited almost immediately where we ran towards the harbor casino"s of Borgata, Golden Nugget, Harrah's. From there we ran back towards the boardwalk as we passed the Absecon Lighthouse.

So we were back on the boardwalk at mile 8. The boardwalk was not closed so there were tourists out doing there thing. We exited the boardwalk at mile 13 and it was actually more comfortable running on wood than pavement.

From there we ran to Longport and made our way back to Margate City where I think we spent too much time. I had a very good 20 miles at that point before I started to wear down at mile 21.

I had no pain and that was surprising since I had this leg issue all week, most likely from kickboxing. At mile 21 my groin and one thigh were just shot. No issue with my feet, back, nor lungs. The muscles in the legs just start to shutdown.

Lucy The Elephant had scaffolding up so that was a disappointment. We were back on the boardwalk at mile 23 and my leg muscles were done as the calves began to act up.

There was absolutely no entertainment so IDK what the organizers were talking about. I did make all my water and Gatorade stops and I utilized a gel every 3 miles but those things really don't sit well in the stomach after awhile.

People were cheering me on at about 100 yards from the finish line but I was so nauseous at that point. I crossed the line, grabbed some water and just layed down. All I needed was a pillow and I would have been good to go.

I went back to the hotel, showered, and took a nap. I then went out to dinner but my system is shutdown. I ate but it took forever to get the food down.

Yes I never want to run again. So marathon #3 is in the books. IDK. Maybe I should explore finding a woman and settle down, LOL. Enough of this running already.

Have a good night
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: UrsaMajor on October 19, 2021, 02:32:40 AM
I wonder if they have Guinness in Berlin. I already picked up my bib for Sunday. Apparently Bally's has a beach bar and that's where it was but I read online that this place was a hidden gem.

I am sure you could find a pint of used motor oil (Guinness) in Berlin if you wanted to but first, it would probably be either 300 or 500 ml - We don't do "pints" on the continent <snort>  and the second question is ... Why?  There are WAY too many good German beers to try first....
(https://media.giphy.com/media/3o6ZtbqYLHi5zZ4JvW/giphy.gif)
<ROFL - Let the Flame War over Beers begin!>
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 20, 2021, 11:38:09 AM
LOL UrsaMajor,

Well my next beer should be in Germany. Today I was able to walk down the stairs. I put on a t shirt this morning and I was like, wow, this is why you run, lol. I think my abs have shown up again so now I have to lay off the sweets. Well it could be all in my head. IDK....it could be from the wind burn.

I was talking to my co worker yesterday and she was telling me I have to take advantage of this marathon running while I'm healthy. I was very good for 20 miles but then I got complacent for the final 6.

I noticed during my previous 2 marathons I had 3 rough miles and then I worked myself out of it. In this one I remained a flat line for the final 6. "Oh I just want to finish" or "I'm not going to win anyway" is mental weakness I was reading.

At mile 24 I was done listening to that "horrid" country music and I even stopped for a photo at mile 25. People cheering me on at that point we're so annoying with their finish strong advice and I had a few choice replies in my head.

My Garmin usually vibrates at every mile when I run and then I check the time. For the marathon it was not vibrating which was good because I wasn't obsessed over time. At mile 20 there was a road side clock and at that moment I knew I wouldn't reach my objective so that is when I began to drift mentally.

Oh and never send the alimony check prior to running a marathon. Just in case.  ::)

So I have to look into some different training techniques for next year. The marathon is broken into 3 parts. 1st 10 miles/2nd 10 miles/last 10k. So I have to find a way to improve my 20 mile time while having something left for the final 10k.

Well I think I will start again in May and train thru August with Berlin being in September and New York in November. London could be October but I won't know until February. It's time to start focusing on these World Majors.

Thanks
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 24, 2021, 06:51:02 PM
I think my marathon recovery period ended today. I went to the gym last Wednesday and Thursday and was all kinds of sore so I took it easy the past 3 days.

I can return to the gym this week and there is no need to do any running at the moment. I might have something scheduled in November.

I probably could have run the NYC Marathon but I made my choice last February and chose to defer it to 2022 never thinking that it would actually be run this year.

So we will continue to see what happens.

Have a good night.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 27, 2021, 12:04:53 PM
This morning I returned to the gym after 5 days of rest. We had a Nor'easter yesterday which fouled up my plans. Anyway it felt good having no aches and pains. I have some Metatarsalgia going on in the ball of my foot which has been here prior to running the marathon.

I think the culprit is the burpees, push ups, and planks. I haven't had this instructor in awhile and she commented on my tan. She asked me if I had been on vacation. Well I looked at her strangely because a tan is a byproduct of GAL activities.

Such strange creatures these non- LBS are, lol.

Later she mentioned that I actually seem to have grown taller. Well I know I have been stuck in LBS puberty for quite sometime, however it was the ankle socks, which accentuate the length of the legs, thus giving the illusion that one is actually taller.

There were only 3 people in class today so that meant one on one individual sessions. So the instructor holds the pads, on her hands, like giant gloves. She then gives out the combinations that are to be thrown. She swings back so you have to pay attention to the sequences or you are gonna get hit upside the head, and since I'm taller, that would mean decapitation.

It's like a dance as you are pretty close to each other and she kept telling me I should not be afraid to hit her, lol. Usually I have some beefy male holding the pads if it's a slow class.

Anyway, I must have been intimidated by her female-ness because I was moving my feet backwards and she kept yelling at me to stop running from her. So while I may have been intimidated it was also a turn on at the same time, lol.

Unlike most men who believe that all women are into them, I'm normal. I only believe 50% are into me.

So I survived my close combat encounter this morning with a female. Tomorrow it's a beefy male instructor so it won't be as exciting. I will call that one Debbie Downer Thursday.

Friday is "alledged" Man Hater Friday instructor where I usually leave with some new ailment because she likes to take it out on the men. Well I believe she really doesn't like women since I'm the only man in her class, lol.

Enjoy your day everyone
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: UrsaMajor on October 28, 2021, 02:25:19 AM
The Friday instructor is like Mikey in the Life Cereal commercial.....

"He won't eat it, he hates EVERYTHING!"  ;D ;D ;D

except her motto is "She won't go easy, she hates EVERYONE!"

(https://media.giphy.com/media/ekAmtmDDCAQOQ8Uaze/giphy.gif)
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 28, 2021, 06:50:57 AM
Hi UrsaMajor,

Well I called my attorney's office to execute Order 66 and something is wrong with Commander Cody. The receptionist took my message after being a bit vague on Commander Cody's whereabouts. Afterwards she gave me the name of another clone trooper who will be contacting me. Unbelievable. I swear this sh!te worked for Darth Sidious.

This is only a 2 lawyer practice and this new name is not one of the partners so something has happened to my attorney. So new clone trooper eyes is maybe not a bad thing as I just need the motion filed against this criminal. Maybe this one will not be afraid of women. IDK....

We are now 7 months past the home sale deadline date and I really was in no rush to force the sale because I was enjoying time with my son's. However, she locked them down again so now she will pay. Oh I mean that with agape of course.

LOL that is so true about tomorrows class. This mornings class has already come and gone. This is a popular one so it's a bit more crowded. It's nice to get the workout out of the way first thing in the morning.

Then again it's also nice next week to go after work in the afternoon after sitting around all day. My 4 year gym anniversary will be in February and I am closing in on 700 classes. The pandemic really fouled me up. I should have hit 1,000 in February.

Enjoy your day
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: UrsaMajor on October 28, 2021, 07:35:08 AM
S14 and I joined a gym together mid-October and he seems pretty dedicated to 2x per week so far.... He wants to loose weight and get fit. Actually, I bribed him and said that if he gets from 25% to 18% Body Fat, I'd get hm the GoPro he's been after... whatever works... xW doesn't really seem to care because she feeds them instant noodles and such... She sees he's overweight but then says it's up to him to do something about it... ::) ..... so we'll see tonight is gym night... No classes just cardio and weights...
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Treasur on October 28, 2021, 08:42:43 AM
Glad to hear you have prodded the legal stormtroopers about the house sale, Watcher.
Not bc of your version of agape ha ha
But bc you deserve a life free of BS moves, a home of your own, even perhaps a smiley nice woman to hang out with in front of your own fire who can coo at your manly runner’s legs :)
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Dumbfounded on October 29, 2021, 07:39:48 PM
Well, you seem to have manifested a new attorney Watcher. Wishing you good luck with your new barrister.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on October 30, 2021, 06:42:39 AM
Hi UrsaMajor, Treasur, Dumbfounded.

My coworker commented yesterday that I finally wasn't wearing shorts, lol. I start wearing shorts in April and I had to breakdown yesterday and wear jeans because it was cold and it's usually a bit more colder in NYC on a damp day.

This morning I had to wear jeans again as I got my manly on at Home Depot. You know I can pull off the Fall manly look, lol. I can already pull off the running manly look and gym manly look. However, I need new sneakers for kickboxing because my current pair does not match my outfits and therefore its diminishing my manly gym gains which probably is all in my head, hahaha.

Kickboxing sneakers get dirty and no self respecting runner would ever use their precious running shoes to kickbox. Oh my Brooks and Hoka One are on display as if they are sitting in a museum. So I will have to find some Asics that are colorful because my current grey pair of New Balance are not working.

I was reading that I probably developed the issue in the ball of my foot from poorly cushioned shoes and that pair had been around for awhile to use while kickboxing.

I haven't been to Home Depot in years and I was so lost. However, I think I was able to blend in and look the manly part which is a requirement at Home Depot. I don't believe I was identified as an LBS but one can never be too careful.

Oh I wear shorts all year long. I don't care if it's 5 degrees out. If I'm going to the gym then I'm wearing shorts.

Yes I'm looking forward to having my own house and I just wish this divorce process wasn't so long. The sale of the house, a potential CS issue and the pension division seem like it's all going to take years to resolve.

So I was walking around Home Depot ,all exaggerated btw, in my Fall attire manliness, hahaha. Although, I wasn't wearing boots. See that. Another shoe issue. Maybe my manliness is a bit sloppy at the moment as I transition to wearing more clothes. I have to check the condition of my boots since it's been awhile.

Yesterday I received my email code to re enter the Berlin Marathon for 2022. There will be no excuses next year. NYC Marathon is being run next weekend as I see the signage on the roadways. So I just have to wait a bit longer since I passed on both this year. Hopefully I win the London lottery in February to make it a trifecta next year.

S18 has his blood work appointment next Friday and I cannot believe that I have to breakdown and text him on Monday to remind him. Hopefully he will keep it since he only has November left for treatment and then he is done.

Enjoy your day
Thank you
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Treasur on October 30, 2021, 06:51:39 AM
You ARE funny, Watcher. You made me giggle  :)
I’m almost imagining a whole Watcher Manly range of dolls now....what’s next?
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 02, 2021, 09:22:42 PM
So yesterday I texted S18 to remind him about his upcoming 2 appointments. The dermatologist changed his appointment time and I knew he would not be able to attend since it conflicted with school.

He replied that he couldn't attend that time slot so I sent him their phone number and told him to reschedule his own appointment.

Today he texted me to let me know that he scheduled his new appointment and wanted to know if it worked for me. (His mother probably scheduled it for him).

I last heard from her on Sept 2nd and S18 on Oct 6th. She is blocked so I won't hear from her, however he responded to my text so she is probably thawing now.

His first appointment is on Friday but I haven't even made arrangements with him as I kept it short.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: UrsaMajor on November 03, 2021, 03:03:48 AM
Well, IMHO that is a good sign (that S18 rescheduled the appointment) at least... Whether he or Mommy-Dearest did it is kind of irrelevant in reality as long as it is rescheduled... And the fact that he asked you if you could make that is also positive... Whether she is thawing or not doesn't matter a hill of beans as long as HE is able to communicate with you... and maybe even get out of the house again...

Now, if SHE would just get out of the house....
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 03, 2021, 08:00:26 AM
Hi UrsaMajor,

I've been working this miserable overnight shift this week so I was able to prepare legal letters yesterday. Overnights are really for young people as it really disrupts one's patterns.

The other day I received the new mortgage statement and the monthly bill increased due to elevated real estate taxes. I think that lifetime alimony Governor bastard Phil Murphy is going to pull out a close win in NJ. How people could continue to vote for more social programs is beyond me. Oh I got sidetracked.  ::) That Wall Street prick.

Anyway the mortgage is now more than her support allotment. You know , her lottery winnings. So she now owes me money each month. Well we know it doesn't work that way, LMAO. Little ol' her has to pay big ol' me. Yea good luck with that one in socialist New Jersey.

People really like paying more taxes in NJ. Oh yes and bring us some more huddled masses yearning for some more entitled freebies !

Ok, so I have outlined three issues for Darth No Balls and his emasculated law practice. 1) Filing a motion to sell the home. 2) petitioning the court to end child support. (oh I know, how dare a man). 3) demanding payment from the defendant for my now overpayment of support.

Meanwhile, I am looking for a female attorney to bring this home because ,we all know, some male lawyers have no balls and, most likely, a pair will be found in a female's purse.

Enjoy your day
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 03, 2021, 11:56:01 PM
I look at all the contributors who have obstructed this divorce. Yes the Governor is a contributor. He closed the Courts and protected her. My attorney was also complicit in that obstruction for always refusing to file any motion against her. The end result was a 18 month divorce.

Now they have me on the hook paying alimony and child support. Meanwhile no one will help me bring this divorce process to a conclusion. I asked my attorney in May to file the motion to sell the house and he instructed me to talk to her first so we wouldn't appear to be bullies.

Yes I talked to her and then I gave up. December will be the 1 year anniversary of the divorce being final. That's 30 months since I filed for divorce and it's unbelievable that I still have this house.

It really is like fighting with both hands tied behind your back. I used to think she was dragging this out. However, no one will go after her so is she really dragging things out. I don't think so anymore.

She is non compliant but no one will make her comply. I have a lawyer who doesn't want anymore money apparently. He has fought me every step of the way.

He didn't get me divorced. He waited until she was ready to divorce me. That's how that went down. If she hadn't signed that MSA in Sept 2020 we would still be waiting for her decision.

That's exactly what is transpiring with this house. He is waiting for her to tap out again at my expense.

On Friday I'm informing the court that I have an attorney who refuses to enforce the MSA. This is really a strange situation where my attorney is more of an issue than her. Maybe he wants me to replace him and this is his endgame. Maybe he needs me to tap him out.

I really don't understand why this is so complicated. Is this the first xW in history being asked to sell the marital home ?

I have already been reviewing candidates for his replacement and will schedule appointments to see how they would handle this situation ?

I think there are different stages of LBS fog. It's hard to believe there was a 48 month chapter prior to this 30 month divorce chapter.

When I received that Court summons for child support in 2019 I immediately knew I had to file for divorce. The fog lifted.

When S18 balked on his driving test in September it lifted again and I instantaneously knew I had to sell this house immediately.

Now I just know the attorney needs to be replaced.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: UrsaMajor on November 04, 2021, 02:46:12 AM
Quote from: Watcher
Now I just know the attorney needs to be replaced.

Agreed.... He is NOT representing you as his client at all.... He is (or was) just taking money for no services rendered....

His "Let's not be bullies" stance is actually enabling her... This should be viewed as nothing more than a business transaction... If it were any standard business case, there would have been penalties already applied... or a breach of contract suit filed..... You need to get out from under this...

Quote from: Watcher
I've been working this miserable overnight shift this week so I was able to prepare legal letters yesterday. Overnights are really for young people as it really disrupts one's patterns.

You are NOT kidding there.... It seems like every launch, I end up having to work my 12-hour shifts in the middle of the night and I am just shattered for about a week afterwards until I can reset my body to "normal" again...

Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 04, 2021, 11:50:21 AM
Hi UrsaMajor,

S18 is texting me today. It's incredibly odd when a text breaks the silence. I was immediately suspicious of his first text because it pertained to school. After a few more of his texts I'm beginning to think maybe he is just mature. Meanwhile they never have texted me in 6.5 years so maybe I don't know how to receive it like a normal parent would. The normal parent being a woman of course according to the law. Yes it's going to be one of those posts. Can there really be any other type of parent ? LOL....

Moving along, he is asking me questions about diabetes because he chose to do a presentation on it and he knows I have it. For me his college equals my enslavement so I'm really not into his school endeavor but I answered his questions.

For the record alimony also equals my enslavement until I am 62 yrs old. Yes try to argue that one with me. Let's see. Female removes the man from the home. Female keeps the home. Female keeps the kids. Female is awarded child support and alimony. I know, the truth hurts.

Oh and the male is a bad guy if he grows tired of the female's sh!te.

Yes it's going to be a long 4 years of college enslavement. Hopefully he will goto grad school so they can enslave me for an additional 2 years. Maybe by then our esteemed lifetime alimony Governor will enact legislation making divorced men financially responsible for grandkids.

Divorce laws are only designed to ensure that men keep paying. That's all. It's a punishment.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 05, 2021, 07:32:20 AM
This morning I picked up the child of the female and brought him to his lab work appointment. The child of the female seemed his normal self. Your typical just woke up teenager exposed to the morning cold 🥶.

The child of the female had class this morning so we did not go out afterwards to eat. While we were driving back to the female's residence I learned that the other child of the female was at home.

Therefore I stopped and brought both children of the female breakfast. I therefore performed my male duties of spending 💰💰💰 in accordance to the laws of society and their views on fatherhood and men in general.

So the child of the female has his next appointment in 10 days.

I was thinking how Standing is a form of denial. Divorce is reality. Welcome to the Hero Spouse "You Just Got Screwed", LOL.....So one can either continue to deny they have been screwed or face that screwed ness head on, lol.

Enjoy your day my fellow screwed people !
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: KeepItTogether on November 05, 2021, 10:08:44 AM
LOL. You always make me laugh. And on behalf of the un-broken females of the world, I thank you for being  the dad your kids deserve.  And a great example. Adulting is hard and there are rarely any kind of thanks in it.  There is good to come. I can feel it!

Happy weekend to you too!
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 05, 2021, 07:58:49 PM
Hi KIT,

I realize any contact is really at my son's discretion. I was disappointed in September when he started to reverse course. I thought he had made so much progress in those 9 months and it was startling to see how easily he caved to her pressure.

I won't pursue the boys. I was shocked when S18 texted me yesterday and initially I did think she put him up to it because it involved a school project. I tried utilizing that 3 minute, 3 hour, 3 day rule but he wasn't giving me a chance, lol. I think he utlized the 30 second rule on me. It's been a month of silence and I had 30 seconds to answer his question, lol.

He does talk about his mom and maybe it's just normal for him. Oh mom this or mom that.....Maybe for him he simply has a mom and a dad. I don't ask any questions because I really don't want to know anything.

I noticed he was the one making jokes today. I think he was testing to see if I was mad since we haven't been seeing each other. Also, he is using my corny jokes so he is bridging the gap to when we last saw each other IMO.

Oh this is how we behave when they are drawing blood dad kind of thing. I noticed he did the same while ordering breakfast and reminscing how he messed up an order during the Summer. I messed up S21's order today so he was laughing about his prior misstep.

When I dropped him off I told him I would see him on the 15th and he reminded me the appointment was at a different office location. Again I am trying to leave the contact in his hands. After all someone ended going out and it wasn't me.

Maybe we are just going to do doctor appointments for the moment. Maybe there will be radio silence until the 15th. IDK....I'm trying to let him figure things out.

I was doing really good in October. I was getting back into my routines and I do think I can put things out of my mind. Out of sight out of mind unfortunately. I try my best to have a cold heart, lol, but man his text yesterday immediately struck my heart.

Yes I do love my son's and I enjoy being in their lives. So now I have to wait until the next time.

Have a good night

Thank you KIT
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 11, 2021, 08:44:47 AM
Gym, Work, Sleep, Repeat. That pretty much sums up this week. One more day tomorrow and then my arms and shoulders can fall off on Saturday. Tomorrow is also class #700 finally. Man I got to 500 rather quickly and the last 200 have taken forever. I am so glad to see the 600's depart. They were my least favorite of the 100's.

I was calculating this morning and I only have 4,350 days left of the marriage reparations. There should be at least 2,500 gym classes in that timeframe I'm thinking.

On Sunday I have a 6 mile trail run which is advertised as being treacherous. The weather has been great the past few days but Sunday morning will be in the 40s. It's also going to rain on Friday so who knows what the course will look like.

This will be a slow run as it's a workout for the legs and it can be pretty taxing on the ankles depending on the rocks and tree roots. Not my favorite type of run but it does wonders on the thighs and calves.

Enjoy your day everyone
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 12, 2021, 01:01:57 PM
I called this female attorney today and she informed me that my attorney has been severely ill. She found it funny that I found her since she has been picking up a lot of his work. She should know I found her because she is a female, lol.

So she is going to make a couple of phone calls since she doesn't want to step on any toes as she knows all the players. She will call the attorney whom I have been assigned and ask if he has an issue with her taking over.

She also knows xW attorney and is making a courtesy phone call to see if she has the buyout money and ,if not, then inform her that we are going to have to file a motion to force the sale.

She said something will have to be negotiated to make up for the 7+months delay. She suggested a reduction in alimony for example.

She already got back to me. So she already talked to xW attorney, asked her if she still represented xW, and informed her the house needs to be sold. She then left a message with my current firm and we will know next week if she will represent me or not.

I'm not necessarily looking to burn any bridges myself so I have no problem with her not wanting to step on any toes and waiting for my firm to reply.

I didn't even know my xW attorneys last name. I just gave her first name and last initial and she knew who I was talking about. She said the case will move forward now with either her or the attorney who I have been assigned. So we will see next week.
Title: Re: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: forthetrees on November 12, 2021, 03:29:49 PM
Progress towards a resolution- great way to start the weekend.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Zion on November 12, 2021, 04:06:50 PM
All that in one day!!! Boom!
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 13, 2021, 03:42:44 AM
Hi FTT, Zion.

I was impressed with her and hopefully she will take me on as a client. If she doesn't then I don't believe I can remain with my current firm since they were just letting me twist in the wind.

I didn't want to throw too much at her yesterday since the house is really the issue at hand. I have a CS issue in March when our son turns 19 but it will have to wait at the moment.

I remember the mediator telling me in Feb 2020 how I saw all these things happening with xW but "you never filed anything" Watcher. So I thought being divorced would take care of everything on its own now however I still have to be the one who pursues each item to finalize.

Being divorced really brought no freedom. Sorry the pessimist wants to make an appearance. The house, the CS and the alimony keep me tied to her. When this lawyer said xW still had her attorney I thought to myself, oh great, she still has an instrument to keep me chained.

So the pessimist told me I just opened up a can of worms, lol. Yes I still operate under the cloud of suspicion that xW is always winning. She had that original CS case filed and had a court date within 5 days back in 2019. That's the life I'm not looking forward to. She likes revenge.

Regarding CS, xW has to prove there is a need for a continuation once our son turns 19. Yes I know he is taking online courses in college but she still has to prove it. So I guess I am the one who will have to ask the court to have her prove it come March.

Meanwhile how am I supposed to know if she ever remarries again to end alimony. I mean, there has to be a good MLC man or woman out there for her. Hmm, if I had a choice between her remarrying or exiting the tunnel and reconciling, I would choose her getting remarried and ending the alimony, lol.

So with all these crazy thoughts swirling in my head I said just focus on the house first. ;) Anyway once this attorney finds out how powerful my xW is over the weekend I'm expecting her to withdraw, lol. Oh she sounded all enthusiastic but she doesn't know anything about xW yet.

Enjoy your day
Thank you
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Treasur on November 13, 2021, 04:17:47 AM
I like the no nonsense sound of this woman who will hopefully be your new L. I suspect your xw will not find her ‘pitiful pearl’ tactics work as well with her..... :)
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Dumbfounded on November 13, 2021, 07:49:50 PM
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I just got a form in the mail from the Court when D turned 19 and I just filled it out and returned it to the Court with a copy D’s college classes and the date of her expected college graduation and presto CS continued without a hiccup.

Routing for your new female attorney. This house thing needs to come to an end.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 14, 2021, 06:55:25 PM
Hi Treasur, Dumbfounded.

Today was the 6 mile trail run which is always more of a workout then a regular run. I have hiked this course twice so I knew what I was getting myself into.

It's a much slower pace as the running path is mostly single file, so there is a lot of stop and go, especially during the first mile. A lot of tree roots, leaves and hills to combat. There was also mud and water from the recent rains.

Along with the traditional water stations there were beer, whiskey and tequila shot stations at different locations in the forest. It looked like the volunteers were having a good time

It was cold at 45 degrees but I wore shorts since the body heats up anyway while running. I wore layers up top as I like to be warmer around my torso.

The hills were brutal and I felt every incline. Hills are supposed to improve one's running so you are encouraged to include them in your regime. I'm not a big fan.

My ankles are sore as they took a beating on this type of course and I was fortunate since I twisted them twice real badly. It's very easy to take the wrong step. The Fall colors were out and it was nice to see since I haven't done much hiking lately.

I had a fall at the 5.5 mile point so I was close to making it to the finish line without going down. I must have clipped a root and lost my balance as I was heading downhill at the time. I fell properly, I think, landing on the side of my thigh and then shoulder as my legs were in the air.

I was like a rocking chair and immediately swung back to my feet. Luckily the child support and alimony were not injured during the tumble and, if the custodial victim parent found out, I'm sure she would file a motion with the court to stop me from running and it would be granted, of course, since I am the non custodial paycheck.

So now I am off to bed to rest my sore body as running uphill is a great workout. I'm sure my thigh is a bit sore from the fall.

Tomorrow the custodial victims son has a doctor appointment and he didn't reply to my reminder today. As I already predicted we went 10 days of silence since his last appointment. So I may have to stop taking him to these appointments after tomorrow and leave it to the custodial to figure out with her son.

Have a good night
Thanks
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: UrsaMajor on November 15, 2021, 01:43:41 AM
Tomorrow the custodial victims son has a doctor appointment and he didn't reply to my reminder today. As I already predicted we went 10 days of silence since his last appointment. So I may have to stop taking him to these appointments after tomorrow and leave it to the custodial to figure out with her son.

Which, in reality, means that S will have to start allover again at Square 1 in the future because Mommy-Dearest isn't going to do diddly-squat to get him to the doctor.... That's a shame since he was, at least from what you said, starting to see some positive results....
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 15, 2021, 11:36:46 AM
Hi UrsaMajor,

Well S18 texted me at midnight, which woke me up, and told me that his mom had just informed him that he had a dentist appointment at 10am. Meanwhile his dermatologist was at 11:40am so I told him to cancel the latter.

He texted me back and said his mom said he could goto both appointments. I told him that was logistically impossible. I do not arrive late for anything and I'm not going to stress myself while driving, especially since we had to go-to a different location today for his dermatologist.

Psychopaths arrive late. That's who arrives late. Not me !

I just wanted to go back to bed and not deal with her manic thought processes. This morning he texted me that his mom had canceled the dentist. She would have been the one taking him to the dentist

I picked him up this morning and he explained that he made his dermatologist appointment for today not knowing that she had already made a dentist appointment. Meanwhile it just shows that there is poor communication between them.

His face looked really good today so he appears to be continuing along on a nice path. We stopped for lunch on the way home and he took something back for his brother. He asked me if there were a law about picking up leaves.

I said, oh are you talking about your leaves which are spread all over the neighborhood. Those leaves belong to the community now, lol.

He said S21 has a heart issue and she took him to the hospital. Well these are the things that the sperm donor doesn't need to be informed about apparently. He says it's his weight issue.

We didn't talk much but he seemed more relaxed. I could tell last night he was beginning to stress when I told him to cancel the dermatologist as he hasn't had his medication in over a week now. Well at least that's taken care of for another month as he seems happy with the results.

I don't ask any questions about college. He said he had no school today. So I guess we wait now until the week of Dec 15th for his next appearance.

When I asked him where he wanted to go for lunch today he replied how it's been so long since he went out to eat. I thought to myself, well your the one who doesn't want to go out to eat.

No gym for me today as my ankles really took a beating yesterday. This guy at work has run that course 3 times and he felt it was more exhausting then running a marathon. So I will let my legs recover, as if, I had run a marathon and make up for the sleep that I missed.

Enjoy your day
Thanks
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: UrsaMajor on November 16, 2021, 01:01:02 AM
So, which came first, the chicken or the egg? The dentist or the Dermatologist?  My money is that the Dermo appointment was made first and she made the Dentist appointment later to put a monkey wrench into the works... She sure cancelled the appointment fast... Or, another possibility, there never WAS a dentist appointment... and it was all smoke and mirrors...  At least the Dermo meds are helping him. That is positive.

"Poor communication?"

Communicating with a Mid-Lifer is like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer - it feels SO good when you stop...  ::)

S21 has a "heart problem?" That is another one that I would be VERY suspect about.... Overweight is a major contributor to many ailments (like you don't already know this) and they often "disappear" once the excess blubber comes off, especially in younger people if it is taken care of early... S18 has it right.... S21 has a weight problem that is manifesting itself as a "heart problem."

If I can make a suggestion - the next time S18 beats around the bush with comments like how it has been so long since he has gone out to eat
(https://media.giphy.com/media/dDyR79GQp36CvohhV2/giphy.gif)

maybe a good response is simply "Well, you know how to get in touch with me to make that happen." Drop the ball squarely back into his court but do it actively - give him the onus/responsibility to get his needs met.... It is NOT your job to chance him all over Hades half-acre while avoiding your BSCx.  He DOES have a phone and obviously your number is not blocked if he can text you in the middle of the night...

I hit the gym last night too but without S14 who apparently has been having chronic ... <TMI - deleted> for 3 weeks so can't venture too far from the jakes... I spent about the same amount of time as when he goes with me but got more different machines in (weights) I'll probably regret it tonight or tomorrow
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 16, 2021, 04:28:45 AM
Hi UrsaMajor,

Oh I always operate on the belief that its all lies. The dentist appointment was an attempt to cause a disruption. That's why I countered with telling him to cancel the dermatologist. I removed myself from her games.

Then I thought it was over and attempted to go back to dreamland when he sent me that "but mom says we can do both appointments" text. I could care less about what that rabid animal thinks especially since she had no interest in helping him with the dermatologist. He came to me and asked for help because she wouldn't help him.

Initially I turned my phone off and was like, firetruck this BS. Then I thought to myself, oh he is your son Watcher and she is probably giving him some cra-cra, so just respond and be polite. I could actually envision the cra-cra interrogation he was under and therefore I would not be able to fall asleep.

He was texting as soon as he entered my car as he was receiving his instructions. It had to be her. He always texts when he first enters my car. 

Well I was discussing what to buy S21 for lunch when this heart issue arose. So I did ask some questions just in case. S18 went into this tale about S21 eating healthier now and walking.

Then he mentioned that she is putting menthol on his chest. So I thought I did not hear that correctly. I said to myself, did he just say metal. Then I asked him again, and he replied again menthol.

Well once again I thought he must have said metal because he did say this was a heart issue after all. So I had to ask a third time to be sure because I was then going to have to ask what firetrucking type of metal contraption is this son, lol.

Well he said menthol again so I have to assume S21 has some congestion. Whew.

The dermatologist had canceled on S18 last week so we had to travel a bit more yesterday since she works from 2 different offices. I listened to him making his appointment for next month with the receptionist.

Now I really wanted to intercede and ask him to speak human and stop making grunts. Uh-huh, uh-huh is not a word. No matter how many times you say it. Nor is uh, um, eh, and yea is really questionable. After all he told me he was taking a public speaking course in college.

Well IDK how the receptionist understood him because he clearly received another appointment.  Maybe she had some Google translator behind the desk, IDK....

His big to do was he did not want to return to this particular office because it was too far from his house, lol. So he told the receptionist he preferred the closer office to his home.

As for the falling leaves maybe someone said something to her. Why else would he bring it up ? There is forsenthyia up by the chimney, lol. That sucker can really grow when left unattended. I always had to trim it in early Spring and then again in August because it can really take off.

One strand has fastened itself to the side of the house somehow and now it waves to all on a windy day. Well it will look nice in the Spring when it blooms yellow.

Enjoy your day
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: UrsaMajor on November 16, 2021, 04:56:36 AM
Wait a second!

Uhm, Uh-Huh, yea and "Whatever"  are full conversations in Teen-speak!  ;D

You need that Teen-to-Adult translation service from Google <ROFL>

You are spot-on that Mommy-dearest was giving him a ration, especially with the "we can do both"  nonsense... You know as well as I do what would have happened there - the "dentist"  would have taken longer so you'd have to " arrange" a handoff somewhere ... You KNOW she just wants to oogle your legs or something....

So, menthol does NOT equate to a "heart problem" <one Drama-llama to go please).  You are likely right that it is more of an issue with chest congestion - Vicks VapoRub or Mentholatum.... My Grandfather swore by it... That is easy then in comparison....

At least S18 was clear (enough) about getting an appointment at the office closer to the domicile so that is good.... but i do have to wonder what kind of "public Speaking"  class happens in a virtual environment..... Hmmmmmm ......

Forsythia is beautiful but it is a killer when it comes to climbing pipes or things... It can, and will squash a drain pipe in a couple of years.... It is like that one plant in Harry Potter that would let you slip through if you finally relaxed... Otherwise, you were squished like a bug...
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 16, 2021, 12:57:42 PM
LOL UrsaMajor,

He said his mom made him take that virtual public speaking course. Makes perfect sense now.

So the female attorney contacted me today after speaking with my current attorney. He said he was on the mend and would be returning soon but left it up to me. So I jumped ship as I haven't been happy with him for quite some time.

The fact that I reached out to this female attorney last Friday speaks for itself about my level of dissatisfaction.

I have to sign a retainer and I'm not too happy about always spending money on this divorce but I guess I would have had to spend it on his continued lackluster performance anyway.

Her first order of business is to determine whether this attorney still represents xW ,or if, xW is once again Pro Se. I have the feeling that xW is not represented and hasn't been for quite some time. That's why this has moved nowhere. Interesting to note how the Pro Se tidbit came about after she talked to my former attorney today.

Last December I found it incredibly odd when I read the QDRO letter that he had prepared. Now her attorney picked the company so you would think she would write the letter. Meanwhile these two attorneys fought over the companies selection. They actually went back to mediation over it

 Well he wrote the letter and the tone suggested he wrote it for both her and I which I did not like. So I never sent the money for the QDRO.

Then he severely mishandled the buyout when I contacted him last May by having me contact xW. Good riddance.

So I have to sign this new retainer and she informed me the motion itself cost $3500. She said the motion is a last ditch effort. The court will rule in my favor and we will still have to negotiate xW out of the house.

I know a guy in New York who filed this motion during the Summer for $5000 and now his xW just filed for a hardship. So it just never ends. I don't think they are going to physically throw her out of the house. It's just not going to happen that way.

So she is going to negotiate with her attorney or her ,I guess, as I have to be compensated for her still being in the house past the deadline. She wants me to think about what I want to gain.

I was thinking that I should look to protect my pension and 401k. The only other option is to knock a year off her alimony for each year she has remained in the house past the deadline.

Back in 2019 her attorney asked if she could remain in the home for 5 years until S18 graduated college in exchange for me keeping my pension which I thought was a low ball offer.

I told my former attorney to counter with taking 5 years off her alimony in exchange for the 5 years in the house offer. He replied no Judge would accept that offer and we never did counter. That's what I disliked about him.

This new attorney, at least, recognizes that I should be getting compensated for her delaying. As she said today, xW does not get to live in the house for free. She also added that this cannot go on forever as we need to get my name off of that house.

So I will think of a couple of offers. I hope she doesn't think I'm going to settle for lunch at Chik Fil-A. This better be a significant gain for myself. Alimony and my 401k are really the only 2 items I have to negotiate. The pensions are really a wash IMO since we each have one and they have to be split.

So I have to sign the retainer and she asked for a copy of the final decree to get started. IDK how this stuff works but it doesn't sound like this house is being sold anytime soon.

Now I'm off to the gym. Sometimes the sore muscles need to be combatted with more soreness. Anyway Kickboxing is great for stretching it out.

Enjoy your day
Thanks
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 20, 2021, 12:13:38 PM
Eat, Gym, Sleep. I was wondering if I had gained weight recently however the instructor mentioned the other day that the obliques really start to stand out along with the abdominals when they are beginning to mature.

Well it's not like one can take off their shirt and inspect themselves because that would be narcissistic. However, the peek a boo strategy of lifting up your shirt to inspect oneself is perfectly normal.

No runs scheduled for this weekend. I have a 5k on Thanksgiving Day in the morning. It's getting colder so I'm spending more time in the gym instead of running outside. So I will still have occasional races to run but I'm not going back to everyday running until the Spring and the warmer temps.

I signed and dropped off the retainer on Wednesday. It's funny. When I first filed for divorce my attorney asked me what I wanted to get out of it. I replied, oh I just want to be a father. Now if this new attorney had asked me that same question I would have said, oh I just want her destroyed, naturally. Firetruck her after all.

This morning I was fantasizing while kickboxing how I will hand deliver her the final alimony check in 12 years, shirtless of course, while telling her to go firetruck herself, lol.

Tomorrow is a rest day and then back to the grind on Monday.

Enjoy your day everyone
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 24, 2021, 03:44:12 PM
Yesterday I picked up my bib for the Thanksgiving 5K. Sometimes these shoe companies, like Racefaster and Road Runners, have the racing bib in their stores for pickup to encourage some purchasing by the runners. Racefaster has a really nice sneaker at $160 but I took a pass. I loved the orange, white and blue color combo.

I woke up this morning with sore shoulders because yesterday was a male instructor, therefore, we threw a lot of punches. Today was the Wednesday morning female instructor so I picked up some sore abs.

Today she wore a flesh colored cat suit which was an interesting choice I would say. Then she mentioned something about her first husband and that was a red flag. You know what they say about a woman with a first husband afterall.  ::) Probably the same thing they say about a man who has a first wife, hahaha.

Then I went to work and this is the worse travel day of the year. I stopped for coffee and tragedy struck. The cashier gave me the senior discount. OMG. Today I uncovered the male MLC missing link. Senior discount ! Talk about a tale spin. This is how it all starts.

I was so tempted to lift my shirt and ask her if I had senior obliques, hahaha. Absolutely the worse cup of coffee that I ever had. We left work early and I got over myself during my 1.5 hour commute to travel 19 miles. This was actually the best day before Thanksgiving travel day ever. Last night was a real nightmare on the NJ Turnpike.

I was contemplating a double workout on Friday after that discount insult, lol.

It's cold but I will still run in shorts tomorrow since it will be less than 30 minutes. I work this weekend but I have a 12k on Sunday morning. I ran this course in July as a 4 miler. It's all hills so it will be a workout at 7.5 miles. I probably will wear shorts for that one also at 40 degrees

I have Luke Combs on both Monday and Tuesday in NYC at Madison Square Garden. I've never been to that venue before. That was originally scheduled for 2020.

Enjoy your day everyone
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 26, 2021, 10:57:16 AM
Yesterday was the Thanksgiving Day 5K. The temps were 35 degrees with the sun out so I was still able to run in shorts. I was layered up top and that was probably a mistake as I was too hot since it's run at a quicker pace.

I think I'm too conditioned with running longer distances and it will take me time to adjust to these shorter runs. My first mile was fast but I was overheated quickly so I had to slow the pace a bit. It's probably better to always start the first mile slow and then increase the pace.

This morning I was already at Kickboxing as I was burning off 2 pieces of dessert. Unfortunately I think I may have had 4 pieces of dessert.  :o I think tomorrow will be a rest day since my hamstrings are incredibly tight. They are always tight. Not quite sure why.

I have a hilly 12K on Sunday so that will be a much slower start as I have to navigate the hills. Back in July I did run the then 4 mile course at a 5K pace and survived. IDK about 7.5 miles this time around.

Enjoy your day everyone
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: KeepItTogether on November 27, 2021, 11:44:47 AM
Omg Luke Combs is my absolute fav! He performed at half time for the Dallas game. And then the Raiders won. Great day all around for me.

Also, I believe the correct nomenclature is “starter wife or starter husband.”

Enjoy the concerts! I’m jealous.
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 28, 2021, 12:32:51 PM
LOL KIT,

Yes, starter spouse, hahaha. Oh I can't wait to use that one. I did see Luke Combs at the halftime show and that was a pleasant surprise. The Cowboys losing also made for a great Thanksgiving.

This morning was my 12K and we had snow flurries and gray skies. So that means I had to wear tights so it was a butt day instead of legs I guess. This was my run club race. Thanksgiving's 5k was not.

Two weeks ago I was last running around in the woods during a club race when I came upon Tequila Bar, Beer Stand and Whiskey Table, lol.

This morning I picked up my bib at 830am along with my complimentary coconut rum chaser which pairs nice with coffee apparently. Well it was cold afterall with a mixture of flurries. I think I'm just going to stick to club runs from now on.

This race was all hills and more hills and it was run in farm country. Last July I ran this course for the first time as it was offered as a 4 miler. Well we didn't encounter "The Hill" during that foray. My Garmin says it was a 633 foot climb.

Now this was a 5K and 12K as the feint of heart were given an option to avoid "The Hill". Apparently runners are lunatics and the majority ran the 12K as conquering "The Hill" is some badge of honor. There had to be 8 hills overall so it was slow going as it takes it's toll on the lower back.

Usually my abs are not sore from running but I definitely feel them now. I had to go to work afterwards so the fun was short lived. Yes I'm looking forward to the concerts and 2 days of rest. I saw him at Wells Fargo Arena in Philadelphia back in 2019 and he put on an incredible show.

I don't think he has put out one clunker yet. I was still in my country infancy in 2019 so I will appreciate it more this time around.

Enjoy your day
Thanks
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on November 30, 2021, 12:22:28 PM
I took the train into New York yesterday for the concert last night at Madison Square Garden. The train station and arena are connected so technically one doesn't have to go outside. The ride over from NJ is simply enough.

I was there a bit early so I went to eat beforehand. I sat in this section that they refer to as a bridge but it sort of resembles a halo and sits on top of the arena and the view was incredible. The first 2 acts were ok but nothing that was memorable. I knew 2 Ashley McBryde songs and I never heard of the opening act.

Luke Combs opened with "Cold As You" and closed with "Hurricane". Everything in between was great, even some of the songs I really don't like. I think it helps when the crowd sings along.

My favorite song of his is maybe "Forever After All". "Brand New Man" was a good one. Apparently no one likes MIL's as that was everyone's favorite line when he sang "When It Rains It Pours". Hmm, I thought it was just me. ::)

The crowd was incredible and that also adds to the experience.

He really has hit after hit as his show just moves along nicely. Leaving NY can be a bit chaotic afterwards but I just went with the flow and boarded my train. This morning I woke up tired and then I went to work. I felt the effects of running on Sunday this morning.

I'm sitting in a different section for tonight's show but I'm sure the atmosphere will be just as good.

Enjoy your day everyone
Title: Re: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Thunder on November 30, 2021, 12:48:43 PM
Watcher my favorite sing by him is Hurricane.
 
As not much of a country fan, I do like him....and Aldean.

Have fun tonight!   ;D
Title: SOMEWHERE ON A BEACH
Post by: Watcher on December 04, 2021, 10:05:09 AM
Hi Thunder,

The undercard was pretty bland for this concert and a bit rough. "Cold As You" is supposed to be a follow up to the "Hurricane" story line if you watch the videos.

I had a better seat on night #2 and the acoustics actually sounded better since I was lower I believe.

The MSG venue was nice and my next concert there will be in May with Eric Church. I do believe I prefer the Summer outdoor venues more. The songs were played in a different order for night #2 so it felt like a different concert experience.

I did follow up with four days of kickboxing as I just keep moving forward. Keep moving forward is the motto when attacking the bag, lol. Tomorrow I may have to run just to keep myself honest even though it's cold. I may need to run once a week just to get me to Spring.

I'm very fond of this new "Sweep The Leg" philosophy. I was reading this new phase comes after the agape phase has departed. IDK....Maybe the LBS should be advised to Sweep The Leg and lose the agape. ::)

Well I look forward to the day when the leg is finally swept. No Mercy !

Enjoy your day everyone