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Author Topic: My Story Growing #10

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My Story Growing #10
#150: May 23, 2021, 08:13:00 AM
Sea, I am glad that you are ok (ish).
And I remember feeling much of what you describe....less dramatic ups and downs maybe, but still a bit up and down. And that I sometimes felt a bit disheartened by that, as if I was somehow doing something wrong or not doing something right.

Tbh, now, I think that ‘no expectations’ bit can be as valid in how we judge ourselves.
Fwiw I honestly believe that there is just a process of loss and acceptance and adaptation that has a lot of layers to it for some of us. More than losing our spouses or our marriages actually. More even than about betrayal or our hurt or love or what has happened or might happen. A kind of ‘well, where am I and what do I do with that’ winnowing perhaps that takes us towards a sort of peace and acceptance. But imho it is normal (if dispiriting and tiring sometimes) and it is useful as part of getting from here to next. It just isn’t understood or acknowledged much perhaps in RL or even by ourselves. But it is necessary I suspect....
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Growing #10
#151: May 25, 2021, 02:51:10 AM
Hi Sea,

It is time... Growing #11 maybe?

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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Growing #10
#152: May 25, 2021, 09:35:47 AM
Yeah UM - I know...

Here's my new thread:  https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?action=post;board=1.0

Sea
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« Last Edit: May 27, 2021, 05:27:44 PM by Seahorse »

 

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