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Author Topic: My Story Green and growing...

C
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My Story Green and growing...
#150: March 03, 2021, 11:25:37 AM
Anon, thank you for that. I agree that it’s more than an anchor check - she is here almost daily anyway and I’m pretty obviously past the worst of the trauma but also solidly committed to standing. So she wouldn’t need to move in in order to check the anchor. As to whether she will continue replay while living here, I am assuming yes until I hear otherwise - though she is more a wallower than a high-energy replayer. And I think I can handle it without getting drawn in, but I do think I can ask her to move out if that ends up being what I need. I know my strength and value in a way that I don’t think I did at the beginning of this process.

She moved out for a month in June-early July, then was back home from July until early October. And even while she’s been living elsewhere, she’s been here at least 4-5 days each week. So close contact is nothing new, but you are absolutely right that having the MLCer in the home is a whole other type of challenge.
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Green and growing...
#151: March 03, 2021, 05:00:37 PM
Curiosity -
Curious actions from your MLCer.
I agree that you need to keep your expectations non-existent and it seems that your attitude of "whatever works for you" is certainly no pressure.
I also agree with Anon that you do need to have some boundaries.
I know you have given her the boundary of no ow in the house.
Do you have any others you need to impose before she moves back?

AND --  Please start a new thread for this new place in your life.

Sea
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C
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Green and growing...
#152: March 03, 2021, 10:51:24 PM
Thanks, Sea!

New thread, and a few opening thoughts, here:

https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11738.0
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