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Author Topic: My Story When you love what you have, you have everything you need

K
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This title, I mean, it is a little out there for me. But I get what it is trying to say. Count your blessings b/c they indeed are blessings. Live in the moment, b/c living in the past makes you depressed and living in the future triggers anxiety. So many platitudes here. LOL Feeling a little thinky today I suppose.

I wanted to start a new thread as it has been a while. There have been so many developments since last time I posted, I don't even know where to start.

Present situation--S and I still doing great. He gets to go to school 2 days a week and we are doing better with the distance learning. His personality is a constant joy to see. Had to have a small hiatus in the skateboard runs b/c KIT threw her back out!!! Stretching after is super important apparently. (Beyond Blessed is working on her post workout tutorial for me now)  We went on our first run a couple days ago. Still fun. Though colder.

I bought a Peloton. LOL. Probably safer for me.  It is my Christmas prezzy from S, and it arrives in Jan. Yay!

H.....where do I start? Another T&G perhaps?  We are in the throws of another T as we speak. He's been living with his parents since mid November. Apparently broken it off with FB...AGAIN.  He spent Thanksgiving with S and me. Just the 3 of us. We've done a couple Sunday dinners too. S is loving it. I am guarded, but wine helps.  ;D  H was exposed to COVID again, allegedly.  I told him I didn't believe him. It was just a ruse to get out of town with his girlfriend. He gave an emphatic no and that he is quarantining at his parents house by staying in his room.  Something I can obviously fact check since S and I will be there this sat for dinner. Who knows. Nothing I can do. And I am neither happy nor sad about any of it. More in observation mode presently.

Who knows where H is in all this. I sure don't have time to figure it out.  My job and S keep me plenty busy. And I've been working on some upgrades in my house too. Covid takes its toll on all of us indeed. But I am hopeful that there is a light at the end of the tunnel now. Not just for this pandemic, but for my own happiness too. Working on appreciating the moments I have with my boy, b/c they will not last forever.

Thanks all for following along. Your sage words of wisdom, advice and support have kept me moving forward.

Old Thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11532.0;all
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Me 49
H 48
S13
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

A
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Following along, KIT!

Quote
Who knows. Nothing I can do. And I am neither happy nor sad about any of it. More in observation mode presently.

Who knows where H is in all this. I sure don't have time to figure it out.  My job and S keep me plenty busy.

In my humble opinion, that’s one terrific way to define ‘detachment.’  Being kind and accepting of his coming closer but not placing bets on it; living your life to the full.   So good to see. 

Well, thanks for the calorie-free dessert of your new thread for my lunch break! 

(((((HUGS))))))



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« Last Edit: December 11, 2020, 10:49:23 AM by Acorn »
Feb 2015: BD. 
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

H never left home.

9
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KIT,
 
Perfect title, and it's defiantly true.  Attaching and looking forward to hearing about your adventures with your S!
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Husband 55
Me 55
Kids 3 sons 29, 27, 25 1 daughter 20
BD #1 Spring 2016
BD #2 Winter 2017
married 33 years.  Together 35
H never moved out except 3 weeks after BD #1
OW 30 year single mom employee-He says EA only I don’t believe him.

M
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KIT, Love the new title.  So important to remember how blessed we are in so many ways.  And you have such a special boy!

You really have been the epitome of grace and calm in the midst of all his drama.  And not accepting any nonsense.  Thank you for modeling the way of kindness. 
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BD and moved out 9/2017
M 30 years at BD, together 34

D
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Good to have an update from you my friend. Glad you and S are well.

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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

C
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Following along, and loving the new update!
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Observation from a (detached) distance sounds just the right kind of mindset to have, Kit  :)
One of the things we don't expect to feel as LBS perhaps is, after a while, almost a sense of boredom with the nonsense of the rollercoaster.....but I think a lot of us do finally get there  ::)

I read a quote from someone - can't remember who - they said that when life gets really difficult, the only sane thing to do is to double-down on being human. Be 'humaner' than we were before. Big emotions and small joys. Sounds like you are doing just that  :)
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

N

Nas

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Love the thread title KIT.
Coming along as always!
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  • Time is a Gift! 🎁
Great thread title, and so true!

Following along on the next installment
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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

M
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Me too following along, Kit! Wouldn't miss it!

You are doing amazing as usual. Great mother to your great S. It pleases me to hear about the recent touches you've had from your H. He definitely has made movement towards you in the last few weeks. Hope it carries on. x
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

 

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