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Author Topic: My Story When you love what you have, you have everything you need

s
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My Story When you love what you have, you have everything you need
#10: December 11, 2020, 05:05:22 PM
Traveling along with you, KIT. 

Hope you enjoy the bike.  I think you'll like it. 
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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

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When you love what you have, you have everything you need
#11: December 11, 2020, 09:15:13 PM
Coming a long for the  ride ,car ride though ,foot still to bad to run lol

  Honestly you sound great Kit like if he comes back it will be because you allow him to ,on your terms.Keep up th good work was good hearing son is doing better on the distance learning.


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M
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When you love what you have, you have everything you need
#12: December 11, 2020, 11:22:32 PM
Sticking with you Kit.
You sound good. Long may it last.
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Adult S & D
BD: April 2016
Many false returns.
Effectively moved out Nov 2017 [worked away from home. Home occasional weekends]
Moved out full time: July 2018 after he renewed contact with OW.
OW: old school friend lives 200+ miles away.

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When you love what you have, you have everything you need
#13: December 12, 2020, 12:17:33 AM
Nice update KIT, and loving the title

For us LBS's who have worked to move forward and appreciate life, work (ick), surviving a pandemic, I couldn't think of a more fitting title.

Attaching
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Me (W) 44 - W 42
BD - Jan 17, 2020

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s
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When you love what you have, you have everything you need
#15: December 12, 2020, 12:02:43 PM
Staying with you KIT
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

A
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When you love what you have, you have everything you need
#16: December 12, 2020, 12:52:29 PM
KIT,,, I've been thinking about you lately so it was great to read your update!   Gosh, you sound good,,,, and quite detached I might add.  I know that because you didn't elaborate much on your H's T but instead posted ["And I am neither happy nor sad about any of it. More in observation mode presently.  Who knows where H is in all this. I sure don't have time to figure it out."   Nothing speaks detachment as loudly as this,,, well done!   It's a great feeling knowing you are through the obsession phase, isn't it?  I shudder when I look back in time and see the sad state I was in.   

Have a fab Christmas KIT & son.   Are you able to get out to join other family on Christmas Day or is that prohibited like it is here?   Either way, I know you will make it very special for your boy because you are just that kind of Mama.    :)

 
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K
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When you love what you have, you have everything you need
#17: December 12, 2020, 12:55:03 PM
Thanks all for following.

I did want to mention a few things b/c my first update seems maybe a kittle more "grounded" than I truly am. Frankly, being around a person I haven't spent more than a few minutes time here and there for the past almost 5 years is AWKWARD as hell. Hence the wine. And not getting into R talks or even about his past is the pink elephant in the room at all times. Again, hence the wine.

At our first Sunday dinner right after Thanksgiving, he called me OW's name while telling "her" how good the food was. He immediately caught himself. And I brushed it off and said, "It's gonna happen. No worries." Didn't want to make it an issue since S14 was sitting right there. But it was definitely a stab to the heart at the time. He felt horrible about it and profusely apologized after he left. Also professed his love for me and that it was absolutely over with FB. If I am honest, this is the one thing I feared the most. And it happened almost immediately. And I survived! So I've since detached from the initial pain that caused. And some wise friends reminded me of the simple truth that he probably called her KIT on far more occasions. Not gonna lie, that makes me smile a bit.

Anyway, guess my point is that I am better able to detach but it does take a minute for me to get centered after one of these hits occur. I know I have much to work on still and I am far from being healed. But I do feel stronger than before. And a little more peaceful. Which is a nice feeling.
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Me 49
H 48
S13
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

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When you love what you have, you have everything you need
#18: December 12, 2020, 06:34:34 PM
 :D Haha.  You have a way with words that makes me howl with delight.  This time was this:  "I haven't spent more than a few minutes time here and there for the past almost 5 years is AWKWARD as hell. Hence the wine".

I would be the same!  Except not Chardonnay but Pinot Grigio,, or Prosecco possibly. 

And oh yeah,,, I know my h has called his ow, Anon more than a few times.   ;D

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When you love what you have, you have everything you need
#19: December 13, 2020, 05:11:08 AM
I couldn’t do it KIT. My heart has taken enough battering. God bless you for trying.
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

 

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