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Author Topic: My Story Stronger Now In Broken Places

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My Story Stronger Now In Broken Places
#20: February 21, 2021, 11:16:56 AM
The weekends go by so fast.  Here we are approaching another work week and I feel like I am not able to get all accomplished that I want to, or the rest that I also want as well.  That is the biggest hurdle of being a single I think.  No other adult to help lighten the load of running a household and I often feel like there is always something that gets put on the back burner for another day, another weekend, etc.

I reached out to MLCer this last week regarding taxes, as with D now 18, I wasn't sure if it would be my year to claim S or if I would claim him next year.  MLCer finally took the opportunity to get me the info on his move, as a btw on the conversation, so that's good.

My loan officer is crunching some numbers this weekend for a possible refinance.  While I'm hoping to get a lower rate, my credit is not as good as it was when I bought the house thanks to 2020 so I am nervous that things will not work out.  I have been sharing a car with D and really need to get in my own vehicle and have had the opportunity to buy a nicer one at a really great deal from my SIL's parents, but I was hoping to roll the cost into the refinance versus going out to get an auto loan.  I am trying not to stress over the whole thing.  Definitely a goal for 2021 is to get finances straightened out again.  I've started back with what I learned in the Dave Ramsey program and maintaining a zero based monthly budget.  Someone built it into google docs and the ease of use is really great!

Thursday night S20 took me out to dinner just the two of us.  We had a good time, lots of great conversation and I love how open and honest he feels he can be with me.  He is doing very well and I am super proud of him.

I also saw my M this week and it's been a while since I've seen her.  My M's husband fell and broke his hip and then had a stroke during or just after he was in surgery, so he is in the hospital and we are very worried that this will be the beginning of the end.  I can see the toll it is taking on M as well.  I brought her some dinner Wednesday night and we spent about an hour and a half talking.  She is very worried that he won't ever make it back home.  Please be praying for him!  With the storm, his son and DIL could not make it over from the front range so it was just my M for a while, but thankfully they were able to come over this weekend finally.
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#21: February 21, 2021, 05:00:39 PM

The weekends go by so fast.  Here we are approaching another work week and I feel like I am not able to get all accomplished that I want to, or the rest that I also want as well.  That is the biggest hurdle of being a single I think.  No other adult to help lighten the load of running a household and I often feel like there is always something that gets put on the back burner for another day, another weekend, etc.

FW, I think most of us feel just like this much of the time!  I know I sure do, and my kids are adults and on their own.  You folks that do this with kids in the house are superheros! 

Thursday night S20 took me out to dinner just the two of us.  We had a good time, lots of great conversation and I love how open and honest he feels he can be with me.  He is doing very well and I am super proud of him.

Glad that you got some one on one time with your son, and that he is doing well.  I know you've shared in the past that he's had some things to work through. 

I also saw my M this week and it's been a while since I've seen her.  My M's husband fell and broke his hip and then had a stroke during or just after he was in surgery, so he is in the hospital and we are very worried that this will be the beginning of the end.  I can see the toll it is taking on M as well.  I brought her some dinner Wednesday night and we spent about an hour and a half talking.  She is very worried that he won't ever make it back home.  Please be praying for him!  With the storm, his son and DIL could not make it over from the front range so it was just my M for a while, but thankfully they were able to come over this weekend finally.

Sorry to read this.  It seems like just yesterday that they were getting married.  How long ago has that been? I'm sure she appreciates your thoughtfulness and your willingness to help. 
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Together 15 years - married 7 years
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#22: February 21, 2021, 08:18:38 PM
Boy do I feel you with that single parent thing. I had asked S to see if his father could take him to basketball practice one day and it was a big fat NOPE. Then S was all beside himself over it - don’t know why I even bothered. More trouble than it was worth in the end.

Sorry to hear about your M’s husband. I will keep you and your family in prayer. 
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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#23: February 23, 2021, 06:02:25 PM
Sorry to hear that DF, definitely more trouble than it's worth most of the time, which is VERY unfortunate.  Their loss but what it does to our kids is heartbreaking.

Coming up on the 2 year anniversary of my M's marriage, SB.
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

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#24: February 26, 2021, 01:14:38 PM
Just catching up FW! I will be keeping your family in prayer and I am glad you were able to spend sometime with your M.

I am sorry that your boundaries were crossed with that neighbor's actions. I really like the message that you posted from FB about wives/husbands. That is a boundary that is crossed all the time. I hear in chat around me "oh I'm just friends with him/her on FB". It's not a big deal... we chat... blah blah blah, and then they divulge all the inappropriate conversations...but of course it's all done in humor, so it's ok. Ummm no, not in my eyes.  I like your rule!!

Also praying for your financials to work out!

Hugs N Prayers,
FN
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M 48
H 41
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Married 5yrs, Together 11yrs
BD Oct 31/17
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 Isaiah 43:1 " But the Lord says.. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. "

"It's ok to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave." Anonymous

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#25: February 27, 2021, 07:12:09 AM
Faith -
I am so sorry to hear about your mother's husband's injury and stroke.
That can be so stressful and I'm glad that other family members were able to come and be present.

I also love your FB post; it's transparent and honest.

Saying prayers for your family.

Sea
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#26: March 01, 2021, 10:11:41 PM
Thank you for the prayers FN and Sea.  Hopefully he gets to come home to my M in about a week, with a nurse coming to the house to do care.  He has been doing lots of physical therapy for his hip.

Thankfully have heard no more from the neighbor.  I bet he was sheepish once he sobered up.

I don't think a refi is going to be an option at this point so I am looking at alternatives, as I really do need a reliable car.  So frustrating to feel like you are constantly swimming uphill, meanwhile MLCer does not seem to be slapped with any struggles.  Sold his house, renting for a year while they build, running for office, started his own business.  And someone has put out his running for office yard signs on the house on the corner that I have to drive by every day, so every day when I drive home for lunch I get hit with the visuals of his name blaring right in my vision, as a lovely reminder of MLCer, so even if I wanted to put him out of my mind, I cannot.  I can't wait until this election is over so that those yard signs go away.   >:(

In other news, I finally got the first vaccine on Friday night.  And then had a relative of a relative say that they can't make her get it and she will be running for the hills if they try and that she believes "they" are going to just flip a switch one day and those of us with it will just keel over and die.   :-\

Alrighty then.  Well if that is the case, I wouldn't want to be on this earth anyway and will be glad that I'm gone I think.

Well, that was a lot of negatives up there, so let me throw in some positives.  We had a lovely dinner at S20's house last Thursday.  We so enjoy our time together.  We will get together again next Wednesday or Thursday.

Work is going well.  I like my team and can forget about my problems at work.  I smile, I'm upbeat, and leave it all behind when I focus on what needs to be done at work.  I get my 10 year pin in April, they are talking about options for a ceremony to celebrate the milestones, but it will depend on our county level of Covid but they will do something to celebrate, even if it can't be in person.  With 10 years comes 4 weeks of paid vacation instead of 3, so that will start in July with the new "year" I believe.  So far I just have one week planned but will be thinking about other inexpensive things to do with my other weeks if I take them.  Some can roll over, but not all of it.

The weather has been getting better.  Lots of sunny days, even if a bit brisk.  I'm trying to get out in the sunshine more and get my daily dose of vitamin D.  If the weather is nice this weekend I plan on getting out for a hike with my SIL and we might go practice shooting our pistols at the gun range.
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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

D
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#27: March 02, 2021, 10:14:01 AM
Oh to be outside again!!  I am so looking forward to Spring and getting out for walks and gardening. I hope the weather cooperates for you this weekend.

Congrats on 10 years coming up.  What a wonderful milestone to be celebrating!!

As for the anti-vaxers, I suppose they are entitled to their opinion. The things people say and believe these days are just bizzare.   

Really sorry about the election signs. That would certainly bug me. Hoping for a speedy election and the signs to come down quickly.       
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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#28: March 03, 2021, 12:50:19 AM
As for the anti-vaxers, I suppose they are entitled to their opinion. The things people say and believe these days are just bizarre.   

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#29: March 04, 2021, 06:54:45 PM
I have been driving by the election signs lately and paying them no heed.  I did share with my BFF my struggles with them.  She said that she and her H were in the car the other day talking about the election and who they would vote for.  Her H quietly said "I will not vote for (insert MLCer's name).

I don't give much stock in urban dictionary and a lot of it can be really offensive, but as a joke a friend told me to look up the meanings of my name and MLCers name.  It was entertaining to say the least and gave me a bit of a boost. 

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A girl that everyone has in their group.  She's not really noticeable, not really tall, but is probably the most beautiful creature you could see in your life.  Just like a unicorn.  Or maybe even better.  She's really cute.  Just a look at her will make you fall in love with her.  She's really weird, funny, hyperactive, and so insanely attractive.  You'd dream to be her friend if you ever saw her.

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Perfection.  A woman who will amaze you around every turn.  Every word she says will make your knees weak and your heart flutter.  You will have many restless nights not being able to get her off your mind, but she's so awesome you won't mind.  She will care for you with all of her heart and listen to every word you say.  If you can win her heart, you'll be the luckiest guy in the world.

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FW's have annoyingly perfect figures but never seem to see it, and sometimes they are so quick witted you'll find nothing to say.  Although quite often, FW's are really awkward and quite shy, once you get to know them you discover who they are.  Never deliberately looks for an argument, and will voice her opinions when asked.  FW's are ridiculously clever, and usually are amazing artists or musicians, but don't realize it.  They are really modest people and no matter how you compliment them, they find a way to deter it.  FW's are not normally slags, and when it comes to boys, they may have a tendency to wait for the potential candidates to come to them.  FW's are not outspoken or overconfident, and are often misunderstood by the people who cannot be bothered to get to know them.  FW's are the people who will be easily misjudged by people around them, and often a FW is too forgetful for her own good.  A FW will always dress well, and somehow finds a way to show off her skinny figure without even trying.  FW's tend to be nervous people, and math is never a strong point for them.  They worry about what others think, and often give up too easily because they feel they are not good enough.  At the end of the day, all FW's need a hug, and if you get to know them, you will fall in love with them.

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FW; the girl you can't find fault with.  Generally a lovely girl, with a brilliant sense of humor and very popular with everyone!  You don't want to get on the wrong side of her though, because her feisty and witty comments could burn anyone to the ground!  Very loyal friend, who would do anything for anyone who is worth it.  Usually very confident and independent, but not arrogant, and talented at many things.  Although sometimes she can be very quiet, timid and shy.  Doesn't easily love a boy, likes the chase and playing hard to get.  But if you're the right boy, will give in and commit 100% to you.  You just have to know how to treat her right.

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A rare unique name.  You don't find FW's very often, they are very gentle and can often be the best in bed.  Always good looking, they love nature and respect the earth.  A FW is commonly a girl whose been hurt and this is because she was faced with hardships in her past or perhaps her childhood and can be misunderstood.  And if a FW is still in a stage of hardships, all I can say is simply be there for her, she's a strong girl and is only growing stronger, but even the strongest people break down.  Everyone needs someone to lean on, you should be that one for her.  She's got the kindest most powerful heart ever, but unfortunately some FW's hold a lot of hurt in their hearts, and take more time then other girls to learn how to use their hearts.  But she's such a sweet beauty and knows how to make you smile, just by being herself, your heart jumps out to her.  One day she will become an extremely courageous woman that can do wonderous things.  Never doubt her.

So silly but fun.

MLCers first two were nice but they were also written by guys with the same name so I don't think that should count.    ::)

The 3rd definition would maybe describe MLCer pre-MLC lol
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The nicest person in the word, wicked funny, great hair, the freaking amazingest person in the world.  If you ever see a (insert MLCers name) in your life, you're very lucky.

The 4th one down starts out nice but then ends in
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unless they find you annoying, in which case, they will ruin your life.

The 6th one was the one that had me giggling.
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The most ugly, vile, repulsive, appalling, awful, bad-looking, beastly, deformed, disfigured, foul, frightful, grisly, grotesque, hard-featured, hideous, horrid, ill-favored, loathsome, misshapen, monstrous, not much to look at, plain, repelling, repugnant, revolting, unbeautiful, uncomely, uninviting, unlovely, unprepossessing, unseemly, unsightly, abject, abominable, cheap, coarse, common, contemptible, corrupt, depraved, despicable, disgraceful, dishonorable, disreputable, foul, groveling, humble, ignoble, immoral, indelicate, loathsome, lowly, mean, menial, offensive, paltry, pitiful, plebian, poor, scandalous, servile, shameful, shoddy, sleazy, sordid, sorry, squalid, trashy, ugly (again), unworthy, vile (again), worthless, wretched, awful, beastly (again), dirty, disagreeable, fierce, filthy, foul, gross, grubby, hellish, horrible, horrid, icky, impure, loathsome (again), lousy, malodorous, mephitic, murderous, nauseating, noisome, noxious, objectionable, obnoxious, obscene, odious, ornery, outrageous, poison, polluted, repellant, repugnant (again), repulsive (again), revolting (again), rough, sickening, soiled, squalid, stinking, tough, unappetizing, unclean, uncleanly, ungodly, unholy, unpleasant, vile (again again), vulgar human being to ever crawl out of the sewers.

I snorted when I read that one, which means that maybe the definition of me being the nicest gal in the world is not true lol.

But the bottom line is that he has really hurt me.  Not only with BD but with his choices beyond BD.  I continue to seek a level of detachment that I just cannot seem to find.  Always doing the two steps forward one step back dance over here and some days not feeling so strong in broken places.

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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

 

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