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Author Topic: My Story Towards the place where all loose ends go

D
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  • Gender: Female
My Story Towards the place where all loose ends go
#150: June 11, 2021, 10:29:35 AM
Oh man, misery really does love company. Your cousin is firmly planted in victim mode and looking to take you down with her.

 I love that can see your own growth in this interaction.  Keep your vibrations high and set your boundaries accordingly. 
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

N

Nas

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Towards the place where all loose ends go
#151: June 12, 2021, 01:21:24 PM
Thanks, DF :)

I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to continue documenting my LBS healing journey. Perhaps if I can think of a good title and the perfect song, I’ll start a new thread.

I just saw some thing that resonated so much with me. It said one of the biggest clues that you’re dealing with a pathological narcissist is when you have the realization that you’ve never had this many misunderstandings with anyone in your entire life.

As soon as I read that, my immediate memory was this: I was at home. I didn’t even know he was home because his car was not there. Apparently he was in his man cave and his car without being detailed. He came upstairs while I was relaxing and watching a TV show that I had DVRed. He just suddenly appeared in the living room and started talking. It startled me because I didn’t know he was there.

As soon as I heard him start talking, I hit pause on the TV so I could hear him and listen without distraction.

Literally the second I hit the pause button, he stops talking, and angry scowl came across his face and he said, “oh, I didn’t realize this show was that important.”

Another WTF moment that, because of the chaos I was raised around, I didn’t recognize in the moment. I had hit pause so that I could hear him because to me, what he had to say was important. I wanted to hear him and give him my full attention. Somehow he was able to flip that around. It’s actually a very unique skill of his. By hitting pause on the TV and giving him my undivided attention, I somehow ended up in a situation where I had to apologize profusely and beg forgiveness for the transgression of actually wanting to pay attention to him.  :o

My purpose with documenting this self-healing is not to suggest or encourage anyone to *give up* on their marriage. But what I would say is it’s very hard to take off the rose colored glasses but oh, it is so necessary. Just whatever you do, know your worth, and don’t waste years on someone who doesn’t also know it.

Have a great weekend, all.

This seems so fitting to end this thread on:

https://youtu.be/QYutI2vOUyE

New thread:  https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11719.msg778908#msg778908
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« Last Edit: June 19, 2021, 03:57:09 PM by Thunder »

 

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