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Author Topic: My Story BRAND NEW MAN 11

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My Story BRAND NEW MAN 11
#10: March 02, 2021, 04:12:36 PM
Watcher - your hike with s17 sounds amazing and like a great time for you two to grow together.
I’m sorry that his mother doesn’t trust him with a key.  That must be difficult for him.  My mother was the same way and the lack of trust was hurtful.
I hope that a your run was nice last Saturday.. 

Sea
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BRAND NEW MAN 11
#11: March 02, 2021, 06:45:18 PM
Hi UrsaMajor, Seahorse.

Well tonight I had both son's out for dinner and that makes 3 weeks in a row now. S20 still does not talk much. He does greet me upon entering my car but listens to his ear buds for the most part which is fine.

He did wear the cloth mask that I had sent him via S17. He usually wears something that I brought him during Christmas so he does show his appreciation that way I guess.

Both boys were on time for the very first time. I do the text countdown with S17 and hit him up around 100pm and then again at 430pm and finally 5pm. He usually doesn't reply until my arrival text.

S17 chose Chinese food tonight and we noticed the sun is staying out now to 6pm. So in a couple of more weeks the clocks ⏰ will be pushed forward by an hour thus increasing the sunlight hours. Spring is on the way.

I mentioned to S17 that we will be able to walk in the park after we eat once the sunlight improves. After dinner we went to a store where S17 picked out an item and S20 followed suit once he saw his brother was getting something. S20 initially declined my offer.

I dropped them back home and they both seemed generally happy. S20 is in deep thought most of the time. Thats how I would describe him. I told the 2 boys I will see them next Tuesday. I had some gifts for S17 who has a birthday on Thursday and that was it. S17 knows I will have a cake for him on our next overnight.

Have a good night

Thank you
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BRAND NEW MAN 11
#12: March 02, 2021, 07:50:22 PM
Just catching up, Watcher.

Nice to read that you are having some time with your kids.  I hope that it continues to happen and that your relationship with both of them continues to grow. 

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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

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BRAND NEW MAN 11
#13: March 02, 2021, 07:50:50 PM
Sounds like the boys are settling in to the visitation routine and you are enjoying each other’s company. Their lives have been so uncertain for so long you can’t blame them for being cautious. It will be interesting to see how it continues to develop after S17 becomes S18.
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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BRAND NEW MAN 11
#14: March 03, 2021, 05:26:41 AM
Hello,

Quote
I drove home a bit discouraged because its unfair she never left home and it's unfair that she never left our 2 son's.

She has left everything. She stays at the house and commands over the boys, but how has she taken care of either? Everything is in disarray and decay. Honestly, if I was reading your thread as a literature piece, I would label it a pure Faulkner story set in New Jersey. Even the dog is rotting away.

Quote
He complained about her forcing him to goto Catholic School. So I had to assure him we did not get divorced over Catholic School.

Exactly, the only reason why he went back to Catholic School was because she wanted to get back at you. If he went anywhere else, she would view it as losing to you.

If you think of the dread you feel in her presence, think of the boys and like you said, mix in love and a hope that one day she would change. It is going to take a long time for them to heal. I also believe you are absolutely correct that you would be in any position to help them if you were still living with them in the house with your ex. You would just be another one of her victims.

As far as her escaping the financial aspect, from my perspective, it doesn't appear that she is living it up. She dodging bill collections, living in a house where she can't maintain the property, and her only tatic she has is to put her head in the sand hoping it is all going to disappear. Some life.

Have a great day and just enjoy that you are with your boys.

((((Ready)))))

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"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

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BRAND NEW MAN 11
#15: March 03, 2021, 10:57:11 AM
I realize that I might be over stepping here but can you and S17 take the doggie for a vet check?   I mean if xW has literally abandoned the poor doggie to the care of the boys they must feel awful they can't care for her properly.  If you felt that bad for her for the 5 minutes you saw her, imagine how bad the boys feel living with her and having no resources to care for her properly.     
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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BRAND NEW MAN 11
#16: March 03, 2021, 12:49:35 PM
Hi Stillbaffled, Dumbfounded, Readytofixmyselffirst.

Yes I can talk to S17 about having the dog checked out by a vet. They did buy her a new harness on Monday and S17 has started to walk her as he informed me last night. Yea I kind of felt S17 let the dog loose on purpose for me to see her.

xW is asking specifically for a copy of the mortgage statement again. I will not give it to her because I have to claim it for tax purposes and not her. Next year she will be entitled to claim the mortgage on her taxes because it will be considered support payments.

IDK if that is why she is demanding a copy of it as it's just a guess on my part. Again the mortgage is solely in my name and it has no bearing on her ability to get her own mortgage. She is not going through her attorney and thats a red flag.

The mortgage balance and buyout information is listed in our MSA. So there is some reason why she wants a copy of the mortgage statement specifically. Ah work has interrupted me.

Enjoy your day everyone

Thank you
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Re: BRAND NEW MAN 11
#17: March 03, 2021, 02:45:16 PM
Watcher just tell her...or through S17, the info is on the MSA and she needs to go through her lawyer for this.  You can not help her.

Does seem odd, doesn't it?

Why she wants it from you.
Well not your circus, dear.   8)

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« Last Edit: March 04, 2021, 01:55:17 AM by Thunder »
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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BRAND NEW MAN 11
#18: March 03, 2021, 03:22:47 PM
Yeah .. nope. All is info she needs is in the MSA. That is all you need xW including things on her taxes or trying to renegotiate the buyout amount. That ship has sailed.
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

W
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BRAND NEW MAN 11
#19: March 04, 2021, 06:36:14 PM
Hi Thunder, Dumbfounded.

I did reply to xW via text and just reminded her that the information she requested is found in our MSA. Then I just placed her back on time out as I didn't want to see an avalanche of responses. Again I have her blocked, however my phone sends her texts to a folder.

So I looked at the folder yesterday and noticed she texted on Tuesday night after I dropped the boys home. Now I also have 10-12 numbers from collection agencies blocked. Yesterday I received a couple of messages from a new number threatening legal action. So , yea, I look at the folder periodically and the new calls yesterday got my attention.

The collection agencies are on a fishing expedition IMO and most likely are looking for her as my credit score is fine and keeps going up. So its not me they want. So my cell phone can be busy some days with nonsense.

Now no one is going to be throwing her out of the house and from what I have read it could take up to a year to force her to sell it if she does drag this out.

I do not trust her, therefore I do not want to talk to her. It's that simple. Plus she sort of dumped me and I'm not ready to deal with her on any level, lol. My email inbox has also seen an uptick in Quicken Loans offers these past 2 weeks.

So things should be quiet until next Tuesday as I have no plans in viewing that folder.

Have a good night

Thank you ladies
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