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Author Topic: My Story You Can't Touch This

D
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My Story You Can't Touch This
#30: August 30, 2021, 11:22:51 AM
Oh, I got the correct travel itinerary alright.  Packing ceased and I lost my poop.

Unfortunately, the kids endured much of my total meltdown in which I spoke very poorly of LB and the whole lot of them.  In my mind, I had requested basic information - the very least information required to provide me some level of comfort and in a stunning jerk move LB had provided me, on purpose, the wrong information.  He had two choices. To provide the mother of two children travelling out of the country into a level 4 travel advisory either comfort or pain and this jerk flipped the pain switch.  Just an utterly despicable human.  And as for the rest of them, they had to have some idea that I was worried and concerned and I got nothing - zero reassurance or information that they were taking precautions or intended to supervise them with masks, handwashing, sunscreen, etc. coupled with a load of insanity about the most basic items like food.  Just bottom of the barrel behavior.  Utter garbage.  Then I broke out in hives.

When I got the correct itinerary, packing resumed.  In the meantime, I took D to get a pedicure because my nerves were shot.

Anyhoo, they left early Sunday morning and got there safely.    S has texted me 1000 times already.  My friends are all flipping out because they are posting to social media.  I am not looking.  They are not worth looking at.           

       
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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Re: You Can't Touch This
#31: August 30, 2021, 11:50:33 AM
Dear DF, what a circus! You were absolutely right to demand the trip information, and I can not blame you for having a melt down. That doesn't make it feel any better though, does it? I hate it when in-laws see our requests for information regarding our kids, as maybe confirmation that we are so annoying. Glad your lovely boy knows what's right and sent you a 1000 texts.

You do well not to look at social media. If you want to look at pineapples, you can always drive down to Safeway.x
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

D
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You Can't Touch This
#32: August 31, 2021, 10:56:10 AM
I spent last night sulking with the dog who hasn't eaten since the kids left.  It is kind of insulting she won't eat because I am obviously still there. 

I got a sweet card from a church member who is sad that I have left the church. So that started the crying.   

I am just warn thin from all the weekend drama. I picked up takeout and the dog and I sat on the couch last night watching Places in the Heart sharing ice cream and tissues.

D texts me every time they sneeze.  I can't tell if she is having fun or not.  I know there was a skirmish yesterday over what time dinner was last night.  What I got out of it was that the outlaws will agree to pay for food but they have to eat at early bird time which cut the pool bar time short.  D was in bed reading at 7:00.  I haven't heard much from S.  They were supposed to swim with turtles today but that got cancelled for some reason and they are back at the pool today.  From what D says, the Bahamas is empty and everything is shut down - so it is pool and sunshine.

COVID re-entry tests scheduled for tomorrow morning.   

Tonight the dog and I dine on Chinese takeout, take a walk and pay bills.                 
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

D
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You Can't Touch This
#33: September 19, 2021, 02:32:39 PM
Well everyone made it home safe and sound. The trip seemed to go off without too much drama. Although the kids indicated that they didn’t spend much time with the adults, including their grandparents, and just seemed to wander around by themselves most of the time.

The outlaws have now returned to South Carolina. And LB has once again vanished for the most part.  So life is back to the normal post MLC life.

School has started here and, with it, the COVID quarantining. S15 says that after a week of school his classes are half full with most of the student athletes being in quarantine. S15 says he doesn’t plan to play sports this year because it is just too much disappointment to deal with again. So things are quiet.

Word is that the pineapple queen’s family now has COVID.

In the meantime, I have been attending a new local church. I want to say it is going well but it is just strange, and I don’t know anyone and the music is strange and I miss my church.  BFF and my Mom are totally stressed out and just want me to come back.  BFF called this morning to tell me what a nightmare it all is without me and begged me to come next week for the Sunday School portion and she would hide me from everyone if I could just help her. It is so tempting as the pineapple queen hasn’t been seen the last few weeks.

Sigh. I really hate that I have to give up everything to start over. Even the things that were mine before LB came along. 
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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You Can't Touch This
#34: September 19, 2021, 05:35:01 PM
What if you went to church on random Sundays? Or do they have week day services? You know, just randomly be there or not so SPQ cannot get a read on when you are there? Although I suppose she just might not be there due to covid quarantining.

Glad the kids are back safe and sound.
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You Can't Touch This
#35: September 24, 2021, 05:40:11 PM
Glad to hear the kids made it back safe and sound.  It sucks that you have to rearrange your life for them, but I totally get it.  MLCers and their OW are pretty darn selfish and don't really think about sacrificing for the LBS's feelings.
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You Can't Touch This
#36: September 24, 2021, 09:40:21 PM
S isn't playing bball this year?!?! Seriously?!!? 

I'm glad the kids got back safely. 

Sorry to hear that church choosing is still causing you stress.  It really is a bummer that the MLCer doesn't take their new life to a new location.    If I could have demanded my ex and the new wifey leave the area I sure would have.  It would have made things easier to deal with, that's for sure. 
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You Can't Touch This
#37: September 25, 2021, 04:25:21 PM
OR - I am really struggling with what to do. I really miss my church but I do not miss seeing SPQ or her entire family. We are a small church and only have one service a week. And I don’t participate in anything social because I don’t want to risk being stuck bowling or at the Mother’s Day tea with her. I just want a church where I can participate without scanning the parking lot first for cars of my enemies. Sigh. I feel like I should have got my church in the divorce.

FW-,I am pretty sure that they actually get a kick out of making me miserable. I have not yet mastered my emotions enough not to take the bait of all their BS.

SB- No more BBall. S says he wants to do something that can’t be taken away.  He has been riding dirt bikes with some friends during the quarantine and is now working odd jobs to save up for his own dirt bike. The child needs a safer hobby that I know something about. Dirt bikes… I got nothing but lack of knowledge on that particular subject.

I have 3 more years until S graduates. Then I plan to take myself away from outlaw country and SPQ territory.

I spent the day car shopping. My truck is 7 years old and I drive a lot so it has high mileage. Nothing more exhausting than dealing with car salesman. There is no inventory - I can’t find what I want. I am totally exhausted.
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

D
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You Can't Touch This
#38: October 11, 2021, 08:27:55 PM
Well, S15 became S16 last week. As as usual, no word from LB. I took S and a few friends to a theme park for the day last weekend, S spent his birthday riding dirt bikes with friends and yesterday we finally coaxed him out to eat with my Mom and celebrated with a cake.

We finally rescheduled our cancelled March 2020 Disney trip for next month. So we have that going on.

There just seems to be a whole lot going on right now.   

I have been working so hard to not focus on LB and SPQ. It is honestly a hard thing to conquer. It seems simple but nope. So I have been listening to a lot of podcasts to try to occupy my nosy mind and I have ended up listening to a lot on the subject or mindfulness and staying present in the moment and it has been remarkably helpful.

In fact, I was talking to someone over the weekend and she was commenting on how bizzare it was that all these people live in the outlaw’s house. And I had no idea what she was talking about at first because I was totally focused on something else. Later I thought that was some serious progress on my part.

And so I have nothing new to report on LB and SPQ except that other people find the dynamic at the outlaw’s house bizzare. And it is… truly.
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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You Can't Touch This
#39: October 12, 2021, 12:32:11 AM
And so I have nothing new to report on LB and SPQ except that other people find the dynamic at the outlaw’s house bizzare. And it is… truly.

Just goes to prove that ... well... yes... they really ARE a bit out of whack over there in Pineapple land
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Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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