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Author Topic: Off-Topic Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies

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Off-Topic Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
OP: April 15, 2015, 11:03:35 AM
Sometimes life is short and death unexpected. This thread is where I will post the sad news of the loss of LBSs or MLCers.
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« Last Edit: April 18, 2015, 11:45:45 AM by Rollercoasterider »

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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#1: April 15, 2015, 11:05:20 AM
It is with a heavy heart that I confirm the news of Sunny's sudden death.
We do not have details as it is my understanding there will be an autopsy.

The graceful manner in which Sunny has handled her journey as a Left Behind Spouse is an example for us all. She started out so depressed that she was suicidal and though still facing depression at times, she embraced life and dug more deeply into Mirror Work than even many LBSs—so much that she was attending school to become a counselor.
Her death seems to have come at a time when she was figuring herself out and loving herself. This was especially impressive because as she was embracing the joy of life, the other parts of her life (not just her MLCer) were continuing to present significant challenge...financial, employment, housing... She continued her march toward personal fulfillment and understanding amidst all the challenges and is someone from whom we could all take lessons.
She was not putting her life on hold and what a blessing that is...because we do not know if today will be our last. Live each day with joy even when there is sadness and trauma. Live each day with gratitude and you will feel its blessings. I think Sunny felt the blessings.

Feel free to continue to post your memories and thoughts of and for Sunny on this thread which showcases the grace of her journey.

To respond, please go to Sunny's thread--it is linked with my name in the quote box above.
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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#2: April 17, 2015, 04:39:21 PM
My husband died today.  I was never informed by OW nor did she inform his only brother.  She had someone from the UK post it on FB.  I found out hours later from a friend in Hungary who wrote and asked if the news was true...  I have no words for this woman.  Now the struggle to get his body back to Germany for burial and a death certificate issued. 

I do not look forward to the chaos awaiting me ...

I just want to thank the Hero's Spouse forum for existing and getting me through this nightmare. 
And thanks to all on here that helped me along the way.
hugs
SSG
SSG's husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer in August of last year--2014. Many of you have offered condolences already. If you would like to offer more or have not yet, you may respond on her story thread.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=6436.0

MLC is a terrible thing, but even moreso when life ends in its midst and the MLCer does not get the opportunity to come through to the other side and the LBS loses not so much the chance of reconciliation, but the future with the core person he or she married. A MLC may have even been part of the cancer supposing advanced stages...even more tragic.
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« Last Edit: April 18, 2015, 05:15:48 AM by OldPilot »

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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#3: July 20, 2015, 06:52:43 AM
BowingoutGracefully RIP.

Yes I can confirm that he passed away this weekend
from injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident from the morning of 17 July 2015.
The accident is still being investigated to find the cause of it.

Please post anything you like on his thread
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=6624.msg443048#msg443048


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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#4: June 06, 2016, 06:31:32 AM
It is with deep sadness that we announce that, to the best of our knowledge and what we have been able to ascertain, Coffeedrinker6 has lost her battle with cancer.

CD, as she was affectionately called, was a courageous inspiration as she navigated the MLC of her spouse of nearly 4 decades, while simultaneously battling cancer that spread to her brain. Through it all, she was indomitable and funny. None who read her thread will forget, for example, that she wore stockings and garters under her dress to court because her husband used to like that. Even though he couldn't see them, CD6 knew and she felt empowered and a little "wicked" as she put it in her sweet funny way.

It is more than any person should have to endure to manage all that comes with MLC and the loss of a partner she had for two-thirds of her life, but to do that in the face of terminal cancer and have the strength and wherewithal to also negotiate the best financial outcome she could to leave an inheritance for her children and grandchildren, is nothing short of extraordinary.

We were all so very happy when CD was able to do some traveling with her family, spending time making beautiful memories. She also put together memory books for each to have after she was gone. Coffeedrinker was dignity, grace, strength, and family-love personified. Her memory will live on and she will continue to serve as an inspiration to those of us on the forum and beyond.

If you are feeling like you can't get up today, or you wonder how to go on, take even one step in a positive direction for your sake and in honor of CD. Have a cup of her beloved coffee and toast her, consider a donation to cancer research or hospice, or just look up at the sky this evening and know that among the stars she shines still.

If you wish to remember CD, you are welcome to do so on her thread at:
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7885.0

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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#5: October 27, 2016, 06:31:45 AM
Although most people here do not know this person I am mourning the loss of a friend that I met on DB.
I truly must say that life is short and we must all live it to the fullest.
Don't waste TIME waiting for your MLC'er, get on living YOUR life.
The following is true.

This was posted on DB by me.

It is with a heavy heart that I pass along this information.
This morning at around 3am. Our friend Jack 3 Beans (for those of you who did not know him well) passed away.
This world....will never be the same again. The world has really lost one of the good guys.

I am using the words above of Ericmsant2 as I am really at a loss of what to say.

RIP dear friend the DB world will mourn your loss.
It was a pleasure meeting you and an honor to call you my friend.


http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2712601#Post2712601
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« Last Edit: October 27, 2016, 06:43:24 AM by OldPilot »

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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#6: October 27, 2016, 06:43:54 AM
My thoughts are with you, OP. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.
Phoenix
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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#7: October 27, 2016, 05:20:26 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this.  I truly liked and respected Jack.  His wise council will be greatly missed.
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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#8: December 28, 2016, 01:19:53 PM
To all, I am sorry to have to report this around the holidays but I read on Facebook this afternoon that a HS member passed away suddenly in his sleep early this morning.  He is listed at "Junior 1975".  Junior was a mentee of mine a couple years back and we have kept in touch through Facebook.  He had to deal with losing a leg to diabetes years ago and had to go through dialysis on a routine basis.  He left behind four children and a grandchild.  He lived life to the fullest and didn;t let his XW's MLC hold him back.  Please keep him and his children in your prayers through this difficult time!  Godspeed Junior!



Link to his thread
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7118.0
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« Last Edit: December 30, 2016, 10:51:33 AM by OldPilot »
If you are feeling down, know that God Has always had a wonderful plans for you.  Unfortunately, there are things that happen and forces that work to try and keep us from reaching what He has for us.  The good news is that there is healing at work.  God is always working in and through your life to try to get you to where He wants you.

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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#9: October 24, 2019, 05:14:03 AM
This was just passed to me and I will post it here.

Gillies9 passed away June 5th this year from "congestive heart failure".

I was notified by former member elray who received word from his oldest son. Gillies and elray had become very close friends and visited regularly. I never met him,  but have met and had dinner with elray 2-3 times;  I spoke with him several times via phone,  but had been a while prior to his death.  He did eventually divorce and from my understanding  had actually improved and was starting to enjoy his life again. Was sad to hear of his passing,  and at a time when he seemed to finally be getting peace.
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« Last Edit: December 19, 2019, 11:01:26 PM by Rollercoasterider »

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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#10: October 24, 2019, 07:10:23 AM
That's sad to hear, OP.  Thank you for letting us know.
I remember his name but I don't know if I ever posted to him.

Please let El know I'm sorry he lost a friend.
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Covenant for Life
#11: March 31, 2020, 11:47:29 AM
Covenant for Life's daughter posted on her FB page that she passed away yesterday from her long battle with cancer. I know several of us were friends with her, but for those that aren't familiar with her story, she truly embodied her chosen forum name with grace and lived a beautiful life with her family, post-divorce. She held true to her stand, but did not quit living, even in suffering with health issues. An inspiration!
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Covenant for Life
#12: March 31, 2020, 12:12:53 PM
Oh, I am so sorry... She and I were very friendly at one point here on the forum.

May she rest in peace and may God comfort her son and daughter.
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Covenant for Life
#13: March 31, 2020, 12:23:32 PM
Prayers for her and her family. Thanks Ready for passing this along.
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

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Covenant for Life
#14: March 31, 2020, 03:03:52 PM
Hello,

I am so sad to hear this. During her time here, she provided a lot of support to all of us through her faith. I enjoyed reading her posts and I know she helped a lot of people on the forum. She lived and died with integrity and in her own words, she has finished her time here and has rejoined Jesus.

(((Hugs))) to all,

Ready

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Covenant for Life
#15: March 31, 2020, 04:55:29 PM
She sounds lovely; I wish I had the opportunity to interact with her.
She's in heaven now.
Peace to her family.

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Covenant for Life
#16: March 31, 2020, 06:16:56 PM
She was a dear friend and inspiration to me for all the years of my stand.  We talked many times and I’ll never forget the amazing act of generosity when she sent my son, who had been very sad, a gift that made him smile from ear to ear.  He remembered instantly this morning as the kids and I honored her after hearing the news.  She was a true Covenant Keeper and I regret missing out on the chance to meet her IRL.  So happy that she lived to see her granddaughter and make many happy memories with her.  Absent in the body, present with the Lord.
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Re: Covenant for Life
#17: April 03, 2020, 02:18:16 PM
Here is her tribute: https://www.gazettextra.com/obituaries/karen-carlson-linzmeier/article_87bc1738-3b51-5611-911e-5ab986983be7.html

I feel safe posting this, though it identifies her, because clearly her family was aware of her stand, and probably aware of her presence here. If it's not appropriate, feel free to remove the link. Also, if someone who has the ability could add her to the RIP thread, that would be great.

RCR Here: Ready2Transform, thank you so much for letting us know. I thought I would leave this thread up for a little while and then merge it to the RIP thread.
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« Last Edit: April 05, 2020, 02:25:36 PM by Rollercoasterider »

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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#18: May 13, 2020, 04:52:52 PM
offwhitelily passed away May 12, 2020.

She was 52.


Thread to post on is here ( since this one is locked and only for announcements)
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11463.0


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« Last Edit: May 14, 2020, 07:55:24 AM by OldPilot »
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#19: May 13, 2020, 08:45:23 PM
I'm so sorry to hear of Covenant for Life's passing.  I too was touched by her strength and conviction. She has left a legacy in many ways, including here on the forum.
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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#20: July 04, 2020, 07:43:00 AM
justkeepmoving passed away suddenly on June 29, 2020.  May she be at peace.
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#21: July 05, 2020, 08:26:47 PM
My condolences to all who knew her.   :'(
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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#22: September 07, 2021, 05:00:17 AM
I was waiting for RCR to Post about this but a week has now passed so I think I will post this from last week, I posted this on DB.

Well it is with some sadness that I post that her journey has come to and end.

Hearts Blessing passed on Sunday.(august 29)

This is really all the information that I have that I can post.

Other than she was still very young at 54 years old.

I did meet her once a long time ago, she was a truck driver and she was passing near by to me.

I took her out to dinner and she prayed for me.

I do remember that she smoked like crazy.

Anyways if anyone else remembers her - please feel free to post your thoughts.
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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#23: September 07, 2021, 05:03:54 AM
Trusting and I also meet Heartsblessing as she was passing through and had lunch together.

There was something about her, a presence, I don't know how to explain it. She helped many many people.

Thank you OP for posting and letting us know.

Praying for her and for her family. Her faith was very strong, and she shared that with others.
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« Last Edit: September 07, 2021, 05:07:14 AM by xyzcf »
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#24: September 07, 2021, 05:18:14 AM
I’m new to posting on this forum but I felt I had to reply to this, my bd was 4.5 years ago and not long after I stumbled onto hearts blessing site, she has helped me tremendously over the years. I have read and reread everything she has posted. She helped me understand why this happened and that it wasn’t my fault. She will be greatly missed, may she rip 🪦
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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#25: September 07, 2021, 05:56:07 AM
Wow a very great loss to our community.  I found HB not too long after BD and her writing and spiritual beliefs gave me the guidance and support i needed to keep my head above water.

RIP Dear HB
💕💕🙏🙏💕💕
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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#26: September 07, 2021, 06:10:34 AM
Oh, wow.  This saddens me greatly.  I spent a lot of time on her site early on.  Some of it was pretty far out for me personally,  but like many things post BD, there was a comfort to reading it and trying to gain a semblance of control by putting a name to the insanity and pain.  She was a unique individual, to be sure.  God rest her soul.
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M=51
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BD Feb 17 Thinking of divorce
Atomic BD June 17 Spying revealed OM at work
Still home.  Threatened to leave several times and has asked me to leave about a dozen. 
Says divorce proceedings will start Jan 18.
She has scheduled mediation Feb 7,  2018
I moved out March 16, 2018
Several mediations, mostly instigated by me.  Foot dragging by STBXW.  Nothing filed. Yet.
5/2019 STBXW filed D behind my back despite signed agreement to mediate.
I retain attorney.
STBXW still hasn't told me and no further action.
Elephant in the room has been addressed.  No further action atm.  Weighing my options.
12/16/19  She files financial paperwork.  Divorce proceeding.

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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#27: September 07, 2021, 06:57:00 AM
I’m truly sorry to hear of her passing.  RIP, HB.

I joined her forum a few months after BD.  She patiently heard me out as I gave her a blow by blow account of H’s shenanigans.  Imagine my surprise when she, instead of giving her analysis of H, advised me to turn my attention to self and kids.  How right she was….
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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#28: September 07, 2021, 07:37:09 AM
HB's site was the first one after I realized I was dealing with MLC, and it was a great inspiration. RIP.
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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#29: September 07, 2021, 07:42:49 AM
So very sad to hear. I also daily read old comments on the HS page from her with all her insight as well as the Hearts blessing site. What a great legacy she left behind to continue to help and guide others, but also a reminder that life is short and we do have to carry on and live our best life despite the chaos and crisis that MLC brings to our lives. Wishing her family love and support to get them through the days, weeks, months and years to come.
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H-54 W-58  M 7/6/91 Kids d-30 s-28 d-14 (dies 2009)
2013- moments of disconnect start
Aug 2016 promotion requires travel   
Oct 2017-total disconnect
Jan 2018- moved out H
Mar 2018- BD1 found old phone 3 EA ‘17-H in therapy
EA ow1-49,  EA-ow2 57, (EA- ow3-58 not reciprocated)
Sept ‘18 -2nd Home in new state H new job
Oct 2018-H moves home
Oct 2020 BD2 does not return home from B trip
Nov 2020 H move to 2nd home in other state OW4
Div filed-Dec ‘20   Div final-Feb ‘21
Oct 2021- XH moves in OW4
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11796.

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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#30: September 07, 2021, 07:44:37 AM
I am sorry to hear that, may she rest in peace.

She was a great help to me in the beginning on this site - I never really followed her to her own site but I know that she helped many. We didn't always see eye to eye spiritually as she was from a different branch on the same tree. I know her faith was genuine and she did encourage me when mine was faltering.

I pray her family is comforted knowing that she gave of herself to many.
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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#31: September 07, 2021, 08:00:38 AM
Thanks for posting this, it is indeed very sad news. I did not know her well, but did read her articles and found quite a bit of insight. She definitely had figured a lot from her and her husbands experience. I realized that religion was a big part of her belief and views, and as much as that was not my thing I still found a lot from her writing that resonated.

Like everyone else I feel sad both for her and her family and for the community as a whole. It is indeed a loss in many ways. And so young
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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#32: September 07, 2021, 08:58:18 AM
I realized that religion was a big part of her belief and views, and as much as that was not my thing I still found a lot from her writing that resonated.
Actually that is not true, she wrote from a very religous point of view however she was not religous in practice.

Which I understand is hard to believe but she did actually write about that from time to time.
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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#33: September 07, 2021, 09:21:41 AM
I'm so sorry to hear this, OP. I'm especially saddened by how young HB was. You and I (XYZCF, Voyager, Kiki, California, Forthetrees, Stayed, Honour, Letting go, LearningIamOK, Crazystuff, JD, Movingforward,, Readytofixmyselffirst, and many others) go back to the early days of the forum with HB. She had a unique perspective and style and was helpful, and unflinchingly direct, in supporting me through some of the darkest days.
I wish her peace, and I wish healing for her family and I have gratitude for HB, and all of you, on my journey~
Phoenix
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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#34: September 07, 2021, 09:30:52 AM
I realized that religion was a big part of her belief and views, and as much as that was not my thing I still found a lot from her writing that resonated.
Actually that is not true, she wrote from a very religous point of view however she was not religous in practice.

Which I understand is hard to believe but she did actually write about that from time to time.

Thanks for clarifying, it was my incorrect assumption from her writing.
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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#35: September 07, 2021, 11:06:33 AM
Wow, really shocking. I didn't always resonate with her writing, but very early on I remember printing out her posts from here and just re-reading them over and over for comfort. Will always be grateful for that. Much love and prayers to her friends and family. So young.  :'(
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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#36: September 07, 2021, 12:20:57 PM
I never knew much about HB, or her writings (I think she left about the time I came here), only the few articles shared by RCR had on her site.  I honestly thought RCR's articles I related too better, for some reason, but I'm sure she helped many others.
(I joined I believe in 2013, bd was 2011)

However I did have one of HB's articles I saved, which to me made so much sense, after the initial shock, of course.

I'll share that with you.  Maybe it will help someone else.

https://thestagesandlessonsofmidlife.org/the-midlife-spouse-let-them-go/

Rest in peace, HB.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

T
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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#37: September 07, 2021, 01:16:06 PM
Oh, goodness, how sad.  I had quite. bit of correspondence with her in the early days of the forum.  She always had something interesting to impart. She will be missed. 
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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#38: September 07, 2021, 03:54:25 PM
How sad to hear of HB. I was reading some of her articles only a few days ago.

I particularly always liked what she said along the lines of ‘Anyway how are you? How are you sleeping?’. It felt so caring when I needed it. I enjoyed a lot of what she wrote and appreciate her views as they made sense to me.

Her being so young is extra sad and I do worry about the extreme stress we are all under as LBS and MLCers.

RIP Hearts Blessings ‘Thank you for the musings
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Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - 2016
BD2 - 2017
BD3 - Sept 2019
MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2018
OW2 - Feb 2019, age 30
H left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents
Bought a family Puppy mid 2018 - referred to as ‘P’

Link to advice by my mentor, Phoenix, on what to tell the children about H leaving - reply #33 (it had a glitch)
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9313.30

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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#39: September 07, 2021, 06:30:26 PM
Very saddened by this loss.  So sorry to her family and friends.  54 is so very young.
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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

C
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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#40: September 08, 2021, 10:20:25 AM
Very saddened to hear of this. I read quite a lot on her site as well as her posts in this community. Though I never interacted with her directly, her words were immensely helpful to me when I was struggling, and I will always be grateful to her. May she rest in peace.
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Re: Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#41: September 08, 2021, 03:13:20 PM
Oh, such sad news. I read and re-read (and still do) HB's articles. They helped me immensely. I'm very sorry for her family.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#42: September 28, 2021, 12:14:27 PM
Wow.... I just noticed this today..... how sad.  :'(

I really liked HB, and I didn't know she was so sick. She was very kind to have chatted with me a couple times. Still, I can't claim to "know her" but she sure seemed to know me.

Very young to go, but what an impact to have before going.

I hope her family heals quickly, and depending on how bad the cancer was...... I hope the end was a relief for everyone involved (including her).
Very sad (very sad)....

-SS
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W - 40
M - 44
Together 25 years, M 23
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019
Start of Shadow - Feb 2012

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Rest In Peace: When Someone Dies
#43: September 28, 2021, 08:38:35 PM
I am so saddened to hear this news. The writing of Hearts Blessing got me through some dark days. I hope she was aware of the impact she had on many lives.
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H54
M52
Married 29years, together 35.
BD 12/15 ILYBINILWY
Affair discovered 12/17
H moved out 12/17
Trying to stand for the marriage.
Seems to be some consistent reconnection for the last year.
H mentioned Divorce twice, no action yet.

 

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