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Author Topic: My Story Love and Insanity continues

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My Story Love and Insanity continues
#150: September 14, 2021, 06:13:08 AM
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the R between you and the kids is a different subject that the R between xH and the kids or xH and you and should realistically be handled as such until such time as there is enough healing within the individuals and the sub-groups to allow for progress to be made on a macro level...

URSA- /\THIS/\ is probably the best approach. Also, I agree. D30 has never been able to own her part in the R or any R when it comes to conflict. She honestly is like her father except confrontational. She spews and then wont listen to the other side. Her F just shuts down completely. Non confrontational. They dont like conflict, yet they create it. Unknowingly at times,maybe? Either way very hard to have relationships with unhealthy communicators. The funny thing is middle school my daughter was elected into the mediator program. If kids had conflicts she would be the mediator to resolve the conflict. She can see other conflicts and resolutions but cant see her own.

Can't see the forest because her nose is pressed hard against a tree, eh?

Well, until she decides that she has had enough pain inflicted in her R's, nothing will change. She will have to (for some people that is the only way they can) learn by way of the "School of Hard Knocks" that maybe there are  things that SHE needs to look at if she wants a healthy relationship...

Of course, if she chooses not to do that and continues to blame and point fingers, then 1) there is nothing that you can do about it (she IS an adult after all) and 2) it is maybe a situation that you wish to distance yourself from... I mean who, in their right mind, returns for abuse time and time again (Stockholm Syndrome aside)? At some point, we too say "All right, that is just about enough of that."

Oh, by  the way, it is that time... You need a new thread:



New thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11827.0
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« Last Edit: September 17, 2021, 10:10:51 AM by Thunder »
Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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