[beyondblessed]

Ready as you know, like your wife, I came across the same type of men your wife did before she met you.  There is definitely a heavy population of "frogs" out there and a true scarcity of "princes".  Just one of the many reasons I am truly blessed to have found a great husband and life partner.   Midlife seems to have done quite a number on both the men and women floating around the dating pool.

Biscuit, I'm glad you are going to watch it again and that you had the opportunity to experience a live performance of it with your D and friends.  It sounds like you enjoyed it very much.  You are a brave man to chaperone that group of youngsters lol

SS,, I've never seen Miracle on 34th either, so that may kick off another tradition to add to this one.  Popeye is quite the movie buff, so although he's never mentioned it, I'd be surprised if he hasn't seen it.  I will tell you that It's A Wonderful Life is absolutely worth the watch.  It has such a universal message, and having been through what we have as LBS, I think it is especially important to embrace the message that some things in life are simply beyond our comprehension or control, but we must never lose hope or give up the faith.

PJ and SB, it's good to have you both continuing on with me.

[Biscuit]

BB,

The message behind It's a wonderful life is just that, life is wonderful and despite the trials and tribulations, each of us, especially kind and thoughtful people, touch many others throughout our lives. Which by itself is a wonderful thing.

Just by the virtue of being here on HS, I know each of us cares for those around us and enrich their lives. Despite what our MLCers might tell us, that is the truth and we shouldn't forget it!

[beyondblessed]

Agreed, Biscuit.  It is so easy to lose sight of our blessings when we are being held to the fire, but life is about preserving, surviving and overcoming things we never thought we could.  I've surrounded myself with so much love, support and encouragement and so many genuine and solid people.  How could my life be anything than wonderful and blessed?  When you've weathered life's biggest storms, seeing the beauty in it and practicing gratitude for all that you've endured are the best side effects.  We do not become bitter, defeated and broken like the MLC'ers, and that in and of itself is a true blessing.

[Dragonfly33]

When you've weathered life's biggest storms, seeing the beauty in it and practicing gratitude for all that you've endured are the best side effects.  We do not become bitter, defeated and broken like the MLC'ers, and that in and of itself is a true blessing.

Beautifully said BB. I hope you continue to share your story. It’s inspiring to read stories of LBS that have moved on, that survived Divorce and that have found a new love of their life. It gives me hope that despite all the heartaches that I had to go through and still going through, there is an end to it.

[beyondblessed]

DF, I'm always happy to share my story and provide a glimpse of how good life can become for the LBS once they work through the steps of healing and moving forward.  You will get there too, DF.  I've read enough of your journey to see similarities in us.  You have a really good grasp of who your Xh has chosen to become, and you don't try to convince yourself he is someone he isn't.  That, to me, is the first part of acceptance.  Once you accept that, it frees you to look towards working on you and who you are now that you are free of his nonsense.  You get to do things that interest you and will grow you and open all kinds of doors you never knew existed.  Getting a life is a good start, but MAKING a life is where the magic happens.

[Dragonfly33]

Thank you BB. I think Im just too hard on myself. I just spoke to my therapist two weeks ago and I told her I hate myself for not moving on and for being so focused on my xh. I am tired of this drama and I just wanted to bury it. She reminded me just like what you said now, that in fact I wasn’t focus on my anymore. She told me that in the beginning I was so focused on him and the whole therapy revolved around him. But now, I am working on myself, trying to work on my childhood issues that was triggered by the actions of my xh. I didn’t see that. I see that I am having a hard time making a life. All the things she said that were positive about me, I didn’t see them. My brain is so wired towards the negative. But when I read your story and that of ready or ursa or treasur, it gives me hope. It pulls me out of that rabbit hole. Thank you so much for sharing. I wish I was able to read your journey but I can’t find them anymore.

[beyondblessed]

DF, my story isn't mych different than most, coming up on 7 years since my xh made the announcement he was done.  Every word after was a lie.  He had been hooking up with is boss at work for at least a few months prior, but to this day he'd probably still deny it to me, although back then, many of his coworkers knew and said he and his  ho-worker bragged about the affair at work. 

He lived at home for 3 months and I still thought like an idiot he might come to his senses, but I think she pressured him to make a choice, and he filed for D.  I straight kicked him out of the house, pushed the D and never looked back.  Of course the lying, stealing, and all that happened in between, but our D was done in 6 months time from BD, so it's been about 6.5 years since any sort of contact besides selling our house a year after he'd started this mess for himself.

While I haven't had contact and actually now don't live near him, my family will occasionally see him places, and they say he runs the other direction lol. So, after 7 years he hasn't changed a bit.  Still running and dodging lol  I absolutely made the right choice not to stand for my dead marriage, but rather to stand for me and create this wonderful life in the here and now.

[stillbaffled]

Continuing on with you, BB. 

[FaithWalker]

Attaching - so glad I get a front row seat to your happiness via FB.  Seeing you and Popeye living life together just gives me all the feels.

[beyondblessed]

Good to see you still around, SB.  I hope your winter freeze over wasnt too bad last week.  It was as cold here, as I ever remember lol, but will be 60 for New Year's Eve tomorrow.  I'm glad because Popeye has made dinner reservations for us at our favorite Italian restaurant....another tradition we started years ago.  I've been blessed with so many new and great opportunities, without a doubt.

I do have a surprising update about the new job I accepted at the beginning of this past year.  It was a huge change and upgrade, as well, with great pay and an amazing benefits package.  A week before Christmas though, the hospital HR informed us that the department was being outsourced to a private hospitality company, ans as such, anyone staying in the department would lose employment with the hospital.  So, I have been interviewing within other departments in the hospital because, while I love my job and wanted it to be my last, until retirement, the hospital is where I want to stay.  As of now, I have a very good chance of landing in their case management dept., which is actually what my official college degree was geared towards anyway.  Plus, it would mean I would be transferring to the hospital campus that I initially wanted anyway because it is literally 10 minutes from my house and not in the inner city campus, as it currently is.  So, fingers are crossed for that position, but I'm still interviewing for others, in the meantime.

Not much else to update.  Christmas was wonderful.  The tradition of pizza and It's A Wonderful Life continued.  Popeye surprised me with a gorgeous Amethyst ring, which is my birthstone, among a few other gifts.  All in all, it was an amazing time spent with family.  We are planning on a dinner with friends tonight and then our dinner tomorrow, but other than that, it will probably be a low-key New Year's for us.