Recent Posts
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« Latest by UrsaMajor on September 05, 2024, 08:09:04 PM »
It is so bizarre isn't it? My H's behavior after BD was also bizarre. Definitely some actions he did were in direct conflict with his other actions of filing for a divorce. He didn't seem to understand that he had fired me as a wife.
FW, it really is bazaar. My wife used to say "We will be divorced but we can still do holidays and vacations together as a family".
I got that too ( "Oh we can be a big happy family on vacations and holidays and such but we'll just be divorced" - like on WHAT planet is this even a thing?) plus requests to come and help her with things in her new apartment
I mean, seriously? Like FW said - "Lady, you fired me from the H job so you'll need to find someone else to do those jobs...." Entitled much lately?
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« Latest by AllieKat on September 05, 2024, 01:00:29 PM »
Ok thank you…sorry my mind isn’t working responsibly
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« Latest by xyzcf on September 05, 2024, 12:54:30 PM »
Hi AllieKat,
I have merged your threads (you had started 4) so that people can read back and follow your story.
You can ask questions on this thread and if you wish to change the title of the thread that is possible.
You are asked to continue on one thread only until you reach 150 posts. Then you can close that thread and start a new one...copying the address of the old thread.
This helps to keep the forum functioning.
To find your most recent posts, you can go to members, find your name and click on it. It will say show posts on the left and that will take you to the latest post that has been made chronologically.
Thanks for your understanding.
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« Latest by Tailspin on September 05, 2024, 12:27:36 PM »
It is so bizarre isn't it? My H's behavior after BD was also bizarre. Definitely some actions he did were in direct conflict with his other actions of filing for a divorce. He didn't seem to understand that he had fired me as a wife.
FW, it really is bazaar. My wife used to say "We will be divorced but we can still do holidays and vacations together as a family". Meanwhile she doesn't speak with me or even acknowledge me. I look back at this sometimes and laugh. What a world to be living in.
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« Latest by Tailspin on September 05, 2024, 12:24:21 PM »
My wife filed 2 months ago formally and has her two feet on the accelerator pedal. It deeply upset me but I can't change her thinking that it will bring her peace. I think their anger gets the best of them from what I have read some feel a strange relief in just filing it. I can't understand any of this. So sorry for your situation. Keep faith in God and his bigger plan. That is what helps me.
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« Latest by Flummoxed on September 05, 2024, 11:37:51 AM »
My advice fwiw is to filter through the facts and his words/actions to pick out the few that are impactful in your life and let the rest go fly in the wind. It’s a pretty standard LBS life lesson to teach ourselves what belongs to us and on our side of the street, and what does not.
Channeling this energy today; thank you for the lesson and reframe, Treasur. I realized this morning I was starting to spin out about my MLCer, but factually, there is nothing I can do. It is not my crisis. He does not want me in his life. And as much as it pains me to see him this way and act in this way, i need to remember he’s not his old self. I am working to let go and let God. I can only focus on me.
So an updated personal mantra: the man I love(d) is no longer a participating member of this world, these are broken people doing selfish things, none of the damage and destruction has anything to do with me, and I trust God to guide H through the chaos of MLC because I can only control myself.
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« Latest by Atari25 on September 05, 2024, 08:56:40 AM »
Before my wife left said some very weird things to neighbors and only talked about herself in those encounters.
Our last dinner party, she only talked about herself and then shut down with the conversation was about anything or anyone else.
Everyone noticed in retrospect but ... like others my wife didn't have any close friends.
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« Latest by Atari25 on September 05, 2024, 08:52:03 AM »
Thank you all! I have a lawyer ready to go but am still waiting on the actual papers! I want to shake my husband….hard. Literally and this mlc bs ugh can I shake that too. I have been talking to a coach she mostly deals with mlc spouses. And helps you try to get them home. Im struggling with being positive though. I think if we talked it be different but since he has shut that door. To think this whole thing started while being intimate boggles my brain. His avoidance to talk or see him also is crazy. I think it hurts him to see me and in his crazy mind not seeing me or talking to me will eventually kill the love. I dunno either way he’s a coward!
I have tried to shake my wife. My kids have tried too. Once fully in MLC I think it's a lost cause for a long time.
My wife left in January - I will never get her to come back. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Just take care of yourself.
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« Latest by Nas on September 05, 2024, 08:28:37 AM »
If you could smell these messages, they would definitely smell like Drakar Noir, old cigars and scotch.
I don't remember messaging you... (Just kidding, I ran out of Drakar Noir long ago.)
My Members Only jacket is around here somewhere...
😂
We should have a thread about all the things that MLCers do in 2024 that prove that they are emotionally living in 1984.
I remember mine starting chewing Big League Chew and watching ESPN Classic.
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« Latest by AllieKat on September 05, 2024, 07:48:19 AM »
I also want to mention for the period of like almost two weeks I didn’t post on here I rented a car and tried to follow him. I say try because I had more fails than actual follows. I got stuck behind ambulance, stayed too far back that I missed where he turned and Im no great detective…lol
However I did follow him two different days. Weird thing was I went a random way and literally passed by him at gas station. That night he slept in walmart parking lot in car. He went nowhere otger than gas, food and inside walmart. Second day I was having ice cream in town he workd and he passed by so another fluke. He went to a local food mart, sams club for gas and just drove around. He slept in rest stop! I saw his face at gas station and he looked angry or just plain different. Maybe that’s my perception but he definitely didn’t look happy or care free. No other woman either. He could be having EA with someone online or etc! I really don’t know but he idnt really the ladies man, never was. I feel like if anything he would take up with someone not very attractive just to get over me. Not being mean but hes very overweight, married, struggling with Ed and is living out of car, still sharing all his $ with me so not sure hes a catch.
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