Midlife Crisis > Our Community

 Midlife For Men - New Podcast and Interview with RCR!!

(1/1)

Rollercoasterider:
I am so excited!
There is a new podcast focusing on you guys with MLC wives. The tagline is The podcast for men who's wives have gone a little bat$h!te crazy.
There are now 11 episodes available and the latest is an interview with me! That interview is the first in a two-parter; the second part will be a live call in next Monday, 04 May. We are planning to do it some time in the evening--full details will be on their website along with instructions to call in.


My Interview: Part 1
My Interview Part 2 - Live Call In

Ggg4life:
Hi RCR-

I wanted to ask you a very humble question. I hope it's ok to ask here though it was a man's interview.  I had a chance to listen to these interviews. I found them to be very informative and it sounds like you really impressed these two with some greater insights too. If this isn't the right section to ask this,can this be out in its proper place then?  I don't want to crash the men's site-lol.

This site has been a life saver for me. It truly stopped me from leaping out and chasing him down or begging and pleading to get rid of the OW.  Somethings in this interview stood out to me and I wanted to see your thoughts.

In part 1 you mention in your opinion that what helped you cope a lot with Chuck was because he was a clinging boomerang. In this situation after the first time, you were able to figure out how to handle him because he was so predictably torn.  This made me wonder and maybe I missed something in my early years as my thinking wasn't the best, would you say now the greater success rates of returns are with the clinging boomerangs and or boomerangs? 

We know it's hard to gauge a vanisher as they are gone until they reappear, IF they ever do.  I wondered now with as long as it's been for many,  could this be the reason? When I heard this it hit me like a light went off.  I thought wow.. Is that the gap that many may get stuck in while waiting or standing if you will?  I agree there are various types of standers too. Could it simply be if the style of the LBS and the style of the MLCr are so very different as their now present selves that they couldn't be a match no matter how long it's been?

Maybe I am not wording that right as I get that we don't put our life on hold. We also could or do change so much as the LBSr that we may not want them back. It seems with the two types of clingers that they have the best chance of coming out of it because their brains are wired a bit differently than the high energy replayer? Seeing Chucks moral dilemma that he was torn as he felt obligated to both of you for various reasons. He felt something compassionate and guilt ridden at the same time.  With the others they just leap and flee in a greater selfish and several in a destructive mode, if you will.

Thanks again for all you have done through the years, especially in your busy life too.  It was nice to put a name and a face together on the video you did as well. I believe that was for O?  Was there a part 2?

I appreciate you answering my questions.  I can't say I am standing but I am not dating right now either. Coming into the 3 year mark with still a cruel monster, I feel very ready to move on now verses last year.  :) God Bless!! GGG

Wilderheart:
Following along as i have much the same question I've not heard from my wife for 16 months now

Rollercoasterider:
Hi Ggg4life,


--- Quote from: Ggg4life on June 13, 2020, 05:12:24 PM ---would you say now the greater success rates of returns are with the clinging boomerangs and or boomerangs?
--- End quote ---
YES!
I hate that it is such an emphatic answer, but I can't really deny it.

I'm not sure I'm following your next or other questions...

--- Quote from: Ggg4life on June 13, 2020, 05:12:24 PM ---We know it's hard to gauge a vanisher as they are gone until they reappear, IF they ever do.  I wondered now with as long as it's been for many,  could this be the reason?
--- End quote ---
First are you asking if some MLCers are taking longer because they are Vanishers or maybe it's about the LBS so are some LBSs Standing longer because their MLCers


--- Quote from: Ggg4life on June 13, 2020, 05:12:24 PM ---Is that the gap that many may get stuck in while waiting or standing if you will?  I agree there are various types of standers too. Could it simply be if the style of the LBS and the style of the MLCer are so very different as their now present selves that they couldn't be a match no matter how long it's been?
--- End quote ---
Got lost a bit here I think...
Sure, they have split onto different life paths that have taken them in directions that may oppose one another. Will their paths converge--stylistically and emotionally? Anything is possible, but once they have diverged is it more difficult to converge again or does that depend on how far apart they  have diverged?
I am not sure what the gap refers to.


--- Quote from: Ggg4life on June 13, 2020, 05:12:24 PM ---It seems with the two types of clingers that they have the best chance of coming out of it because their brains are wired a bit differently than the high energy replayer?
--- End quote ---
Here, you are confusing some terms. Clinging Boomerangs and Boomerangs are Contact Types--both Close Contact Types. A Replayer is an Energy type--the High Energy Type and the Low Energy counterpart is a Wallower. We determine the Energy type based on their behaviour during the stage called Escape & Avoid--which Jim Conway called Replay. Contact Type is based on the amount of contact--regardless of who initiates and the emotional-level of contact. So Boomerangs and Clinging Boomerangs can contact the same amount, but a Clinging Boomerang may need more reassurance, cycle more, profess love for you, seem more uncertain (goes with cycling), tell you they'll be back or you can just marry each other again, move home or try to multiple times, talk about regretting their actions. This is not to say a Clinging Boomerang will do all of those things, but they have a tendency toward more neediness for their LBS. Clinging Boomerangs are often Replayers.


--- Quote from: Ggg4life on June 13, 2020, 05:12:24 PM ---Seeing Chucks moral dilemma that he was torn as he felt obligated to both of you for various reasons. He felt something compassionate and guilt ridden at the same time.  With the others they just leap and flee in a greater selfish and several in a destructive mode, if you will.
--- End quote ---
What made Chuck a Clinging Boomerang? Was it that sense of moral obligation? His guilt and compassion? Each individual runs from guilt in their own way, so some run from it and it may bring them back-and-forth to their MLCer...perhaps as a means of alleviating by reaching out or comfort (security blanket) A Vanisher might run without seeming to look back and without reaching out as an avoidance of their guilt.
Maybe reaching out or for the security blanket is an attempt to alleviate, whereas running is not alleviation, but avoidance. I don't really know, just thinking as I type and I haven't thought of these things in this way before.


--- Quote from: Ggg4life on June 13, 2020, 05:12:24 PM ---Thanks again for all you have done through the years, especially in your busy life too.  It was nice to put a name and a face together on the video you did as well. I believe that was for O?  Was there a part 2?
--- End quote ---
Confused again---for O? Part 2?
I'm doing weekly Facebook Lives in the Facebook Group--I've done 6 so far--not counting the 2nd which got lost in cyberspace when I hit share at the end.

I sent a PM announcement for both the Private group and I think for the first Live, but I will start a thread to announce them after I post this.

Wilderheart:
Thank you for the emphatic yes on the first question my wife's a vanisher and to be honest I was kinda hoping that wasn't the reality but it helps to know the truth

Navigation

[0] Message Index