[UrsaMajor]

Finding a way to disconnect how you feel from his emotional rollercoaster is essential for your sanity and strength, Rvles....but it usually needs us to let go first of believing that there is anything we can do to influence our spouse one way or the other. To see it like weather essentially....if it rains, pick up an umbrella 
Do you believe that yet or are you still trying to fix something?

Read this again....

As long as you are focusing on his wierdo behaviour, you are NOT focusing on your own healing....

[rvles1913]

I am. But the weirdo behavior is right in front of me.

[beyondblessed]

I am. But the weirdo behavior is right in front of me.

You need to find a safe space of your own away from him, even if you still are forced to share space with him.  Treat him as you would a stranger or casual acquaintance and nothing more.  He has proven himself indifferent to interactions with you, so treat him in kind, but make no mistake,  this isn't to "punish" him or manipulate him into "seeing the light", but more for you to protect and preserve yourself from anymore mental and emotional abuse from him.

[UrsaMajor]

I am. But the weirdo behavior is right in front of me.

You need to find a safe space of your own away from him, even if you still are forced to share space with him.  Treat him as you would a stranger or casual acquaintance and nothing more. 

Or, as some have put it, the crazy uncle that lives in the attic

He has proven himself indifferent to interactions with you, so treat him in kind, but make no mistake, this isn't to "punish" him or manipulate him into "seeing the light", but more for you to protect and preserve yourself from anymore mental and emotional abuse from him.

[rvles1913]

Tomorrow is my birthday. Will be the most miserable birthday I have ever had. How do you cope on the first birthday in your life that no one gives a crap about you?

[MadLuv]

Rvles-
I just had my bday and 30th anniversary same week. I had my sister come visit. Asked my adult kids to go out to eat. Spent the day lounging in a pool.

My X emailed me first thing in morning from his work email “ wishing you a happy birthday” It almost ruined my day, but I brushed it off and just relaxed. It was an ok day. I had built it up to be the worst and so when it was just OK it ended up seeming the like a pretty good day

H-54
W-58
Married 7/6/1991
Kids d-30 s-28 d-14 deceased
Moved out for space-jan 2018
BD1-march 2018 found phone
EA ow1-49
EA-ow2 57
EA- ow3 58
Moved back-Oct 2018
BD2-October 2020
OW-46
Divorce filed-Dec 202O
Divorce final-Feb 2021

[Treasur]

Tomorrow is my birthday. Will be the most miserable birthday I have ever had. How do you cope on the first birthday in your life that no one gives a crap about you?

You spend it with people who DO....friends, kids, even a pet lol.
And if that isn’t possible, you treat yourself with great kindness and remind yourself that one person is not every person on the planet 
Happy birthday, rvles 

[Nas]

My first birthday was like 3.5 weeks after he moved out. I hadn't yet told my friends what was going on but they knew we were separated. I tried my best to have fun but it was really hard.

So don't beat yourself up if you can't force yourself to have a great day, but try to aim to have a good day. Do something you love to do, eat something you love to eat, if you can, be around people who love you, call someone you love. He's not the only person in the world, so if he isn't there, you still matter and your birthday is still a day to celebrate.

Happy birthday, rvles.

[UrsaMajor]

Tomorrow is my birthday. Will be the most miserable birthday I have ever had. How do you cope on the first birthday in your life that no one gives a crap about you?

I took my kids and met with a group of colleagues at a local Mexican restaurant and had a nice afternoon.

[OffRoad]

Tomorrow is my birthday. Will be the most miserable birthday I have ever had. How do you cope on the first birthday in your life that no one gives a crap about you?

To be honest, I've never had a birthday where no one gave a crap about me. There are way too many people I know for that to happen. Do you have any of those, either here or locally where you are? Maybe you could talk to one of them, or lots of them.

But if you don't happen to have anyone that you really want to hang with right now (and I've had those special days), I made myself Pepperidge Farms Apple Turnovers for my birthday one year. I hadn't had those for over ten years. Go for a drive, especially if there is a place where you can watch people.  Enjoy a favorite craft. Take the day off and sleep in until noon. If you like to hike, go for a hike (fresh air always makes me feel better). Is there anything you want to do that you haven't done that you might do?  Oddly enough, some of the dopiest things give me joy: Cleaning my keyboard; repairing the ice maker; coming up with creative ways to get my huge trash can out to the curb since I need both hands for either walking sticks or my off road walker (I can't walk without them) which leaves no hand for the trash can (yes, I DID find a way, with a set of tool belt suspenders); organizing my extension cords; cleaning out my closet.  Sometimes organizing and clearing out feels really good (when it's your choice and not forced upon you). My newest diversion is casting rapidset cement into soap molds and making rocks, then painting them. Little cement duckies in various colors. It makes me smile, it's so silly.

If you can find one small thing that gives you joy, it will lift your spirits.

Of course, there is also something to be said for curling up into a ball, listening to sad music and crying your eyes out, too. (I've also had those special days).

I wish you a Birthday filled with whatever joy you can muster!