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Author Topic: My Story Fettling

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My Story Fettling
#70: May 20, 2022, 10:53:59 PM
Sun is shining here after rain as well in the Southern Hemisphere. I’m so sorry you haven’t any better news for Gracie yet. Enjoy the snoozy sunshine and peace with your little grey girl.
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M: 53 (48 @ BD), H: 55 (51 @ BD); Married 20yrs, together 23yrs
D: 24 (19 @ BD), D: 22 (17 @ BD), 'Extra D': 22 (17 @ BD)
BD (that I didn't recognise as such) Easter 2018
BD 9th Sep 2018
OW - he (supposedly) met her in the pub a week before BD, told me about her a week after BD. Thinks 'their planets have collided' because 'their eyes met across the room' and they had an 'instant connection'. Lives with her. Is building a life with her.
Jun 20: H plans to buy a block of land and build a house with her (never happens).
May 22: Movement... (likely T&G? Time will tell I guess)
May 23: Yep, definitely a T&G last year. Still have contact but very minimal. He is a long way away from me these days. He doesn't seem particularly happy in his new life... but he's still there soooo....

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Fettling
#71: May 20, 2022, 11:35:34 PM
So sorry to hear about Gracie Treasur. i thought she’s already ok.   How old is she now? I can imagine your worries as I have my own pet. It must be heartbreaking to see her having seizures. Hang in there Treasur. Sending you both hugs and prayers.
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Me 43 at BD
H    45 at BD
Married 11 yrs at BD, no kids,
BD May 2019 (I moved out Nov 2019)
EA or PA with ex gf (not sure), H spent 3 nights with the hoe during our vacation in July 2019, it was a friendly encounter according to H
H wanted D April 2020 seeing suspected OW2 (divorced with two kids) and 2 years older than him, H didn’t file the D
Clinging boomerang
6/21 H moved in with me; kicked him out 01/22
H turned into a vanisher, wants a Divorce, OW 3 (16 years younger and extreme sporty)
14.11.22 Divorce final, I'm done

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Fettling
#72: May 25, 2022, 02:26:27 AM
She’s only 3, Dragonfly, so it’s a hard thing to adapt to.

A conversation with a chum yesterday came out of gossiping about two mutual friends. We are fond of them both but have decided to call them The Rigidity Sistets bc they have a very particular window on the world. And of course they dislike each other heartily lol. She said, en passant, how lucky she feels to have an ability to appreciate the good in a given moment even when other things are not so great....and that it is something we have in common. And she’s right.

So, in that spirit, Gracie and medication was a bit of a struggle for a couple of days. I don’t know if she or me were more stressed about it tbh. But I found a way (please don’t laugh too much  ::) ).....I put a small amount mixed with the liquid food on a dish, lie on the kitchen rug with her, we exchange a couple of head boops and some admiring chat, I hand feed a couple of mouthfuls and we’re off to the races. Much relief for her and me  :) idk what the cause is, idk if it can be fixed by meds....and it is a bit too early to tell....but I can see that she is more Gracie-like, less tentative in herself, more playful. So, for now, things are ok  :)

Gracie says I need to go to the post office and then come back to chillax with her (which usually involves me working and her asleep on a chair close by lol), so i’ll leave it at that. All shall be well, all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well....just important to stop and look at those things, isn’t it, regardless of the other stuff?  :)
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« Last Edit: May 25, 2022, 02:39:25 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Fettling
#73: May 25, 2022, 05:23:18 AM
Awww, love the Gracie meds approach and so glad she seems to be more Gracie ❤️
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There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.

Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight

Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022  XH fired
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife

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Re: Fettling
#74: May 25, 2022, 06:22:36 AM
Oh Treasur no one would ever laugh at you for loving her and trying to be a comfort to her by laying with her while she takes her meds.  Got my eyes a bit misty.

I'm glad she is a bit more herself.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

5
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Fettling
#75: May 25, 2022, 07:14:39 AM
Treasur I love how you love,
It's great to hear there are options for Gracie.  One time when my dog was having a hard time delivering her puppies i laid down with her.  I rubbed her belly and caressed her body until every puppy was born all 10 of them.

Sending you a lot of hugs,
5hil

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Fettling
#76: May 25, 2022, 09:37:22 AM
Aw, it sounds like Gracie hit the jackpot in the “dog mom” lottery! I hope you continue to see improvement for Gracie.
A little self disclosure, ..I’m a big lover of dogs!!! 🐕 🐕🐕🤣
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Fettling
#77: May 31, 2022, 05:52:31 PM
So sorry your pretty kitty is struggling right now.  You've had enough pain with losing your other kitty, was his name Louis?  Like Thunder, I can't quite remember for sure.

Sending you and Gracie some thoughts and prayers from afar.
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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

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Fettling
#78: May 31, 2022, 08:33:39 PM
Treasur How is Gracie now? Sometimes I also hand feed Luna when she doesn’t like to eat. Or I act like I am eating her food for her to get jealous and eventually eats her food. I hope this meds would help Gracie. Hugs to both of you.
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Me 43 at BD
H    45 at BD
Married 11 yrs at BD, no kids,
BD May 2019 (I moved out Nov 2019)
EA or PA with ex gf (not sure), H spent 3 nights with the hoe during our vacation in July 2019, it was a friendly encounter according to H
H wanted D April 2020 seeing suspected OW2 (divorced with two kids) and 2 years older than him, H didn’t file the D
Clinging boomerang
6/21 H moved in with me; kicked him out 01/22
H turned into a vanisher, wants a Divorce, OW 3 (16 years younger and extreme sporty)
14.11.22 Divorce final, I'm done

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Fettling
#79: June 02, 2022, 01:25:21 AM
Thank you all so much for being concerned about Gracie.
It’s hard to tell if the medication is working....I think it is a little, less cluster seizures and she has a gap of a few hours in the middle of the day when she doesn’t have any, but I am trying not to make a judgment yet bc it is too early. And obviously something bad is causing this even if we can’t pin down what the cause is, so the future feels a bit dark tbh. Understandable.....I have had a lot of losses in the last few years and dread another one. And yes, Faith, how kind of you to remember Louis. Letting him go broke my heart when I wasn’t sure I had much left to break. But it’s the price of loving these small creatures that give us so much, isn’t it?

Blood tests are scheduled for the 8th and I suspect the next step will be to increase the dosage bc she is on the lowest dose possible right now. The weather has improved here and she’s a bit frustrated she can’t be outside in the garden but has colonised my bed as her morning snooze spot.
I am doing the LBS 101 thing of leaning into the gifts of each day and marvelling at how much this little elegant creature trusts me, how quick she is to come for a cuddle and how much I enjoy the sound of her purr close by. And adapting to the smell of sardines at 7am lol.
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

 

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