Skip to main content

Author Topic: My Story BRAND NEW MAN 13

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 23779
  • Gender: Female
My Story Re: BRAND NEW MAN 13
#40: July 31, 2021, 06:27:45 AM
Watcher I personally would not engage with her.

Sounds like she is in one of her manic modes again and is just throwing things out there to get you to involve yourself again.

She has S21's health insurance and S21 is an adult...so basically they do not need your permission to do any surgery.  Your thoughts would mean nothing because she will do as she pleases like she always does, just like with sending S18 to that private school you were against.

As far as him getting his license. why tell you that?  She can just sign him up for driving instructions, or he can, just like you did for S18.
No need to involve you.

Let her mania run it's course and just ignore her.

Any reputable surgeon who would do bypass surgery, on a healthy 21 year old, with out asking him what life style changes he has made first (like diet and exercise) would be a pretty poor surgeon in my opinion.

But again it's all out of your hands.
  • Logged
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

W
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5324
  • Gender: Male
BRAND NEW MAN 13
#41: July 31, 2021, 04:46:17 PM
Hi Treasur, Thunder.

Well today my 4 mile race went well. The course was hilly as advertised through rolling countryside with about 250 participants. This would be my 2nd race this year and I did better than my July 4th run which was a flat course. No humidity today and the temps were actually nice so that made a huge difference.

Tomorrow rain is scheduled to start around 11am so I have to be up early to get my 14 mile long run in. IDK yet if I will have the legs after today so we shall see. It is much better running with other people as it pushes you to run faster.

I was thinking she was motivated to text me impulsively because S21 spent the night platonically at a girl's house. So she came up with the weight issue and surgery because she wants him to have a girlfriend IMO.

Its her typical reach for me to solve a problem. She wished me all the luck with helping S21 obtain his driver's license and lose weight. She dumped the boys in Florida in April and it didn't work so she continues to avoid all responsibility of them while asking me to carry it now.

S21 needs to find his own motivation just like S18 did. S21 needs to walk everyday and the weight will come off like it did for S18, their mom and myself. I will talk to him when or if I see him.

If his mom had really been concerned then S21 would have been out with us last weekend as she knew where we were going. Furthermore I'm pretty sure S18 tells her everything we do, like hiking.

So her contact with me was probably spurred by this female friend who he has known for years. She didn't ask me, hey are you free to take him today or this weekend to get outdoors. When can you see him. Nothing. She was just assigning me some responsibility.

So I think she maybe quiet now.

Have a good night
Thanks
  • Logged

W
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5324
  • Gender: Male
BRAND NEW MAN 13
#42: August 01, 2021, 03:24:51 PM
So today was my 14 mile interval along the canal on a nice day with low temps and humidity. This was one of those runs where I questioned why I decided to go with running. There were so many more options, lol.

Well training is all kinds of boring. I enjoyed yesterday's 4 mile race much more. I used 3 gels for this one and I positioned my car at mile 10 for a water stop as I cannot carry water to save my life while running.

So now I will run my 16 mile interval on Friday morning as I have the Jason Aldean concert that night. He is playing with Hardy, who I have already seen, and I'm not that into him. He is ok. The 3rd act is Lainey Wilson and she sings "Things a Man Outta Know" and I like that song.

S18 was scheduled to have driving school today so it must have went well as I did not hear from him nor the school. Tomorrow he has lab work so I will ask him how things went when I see him.

This is a breakfast week as I work nights and S18 has another appointment on Thursday morning. So we will see if S21 joins us.

Enjoy your day
  • Logged

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 11263
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't please everyone. You are NOT a pizza!
BRAND NEW MAN 13
#43: August 02, 2021, 05:59:38 AM
Thunder made an excellent point....

Gastric Bypass surgery is normally reserved for the morbidly obese who are unable to loose weight any other way. It is a MAJOR surgery that is NOT like having one's boobs lifted or something and it has life-long repercussions. It's not something one does for "self-esteem issues" because that is NOT going to "fix" the underlying issues. Getting the dead butt off the sofa and moving, becoming more active in real life instead of behind a computer screen, etc. THAT is what resolves the underlying issues, not having one's stomach made artificially smaller and filling it with crap food anyway...

I have a friend from High School who had it done due to the fact that her weight was causing other major health issues and, yes, it did work wonders for her. Her health has improved greatly, her mobility is greatly increased, she is no longer Type 2 diabetic, etc., etc., etc but it has also been a long, hard slog for her. She has to be very careful about her diet (still - years later) because not everything that can be eaten has a "beneficial" result.

By the way, just something to think about - it IS August so it really is about time for her yearly manic episodes to kick off.... She's tossing the spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks...
  • Logged
Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

W
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5324
  • Gender: Male
BRAND NEW MAN 13
#44: August 02, 2021, 08:29:32 AM
Hi UrsaMajor,

Well she contacted me on July 28, 2020 and I didn't notice that text until Dec 2020. So maybe it is that time of year since she contacted me on July 30th. I always attributed it to the approaching school year but she does seem to be seasonal, especially since there was no reason to give me her new phone number, as I never reach out to her. Hey look at me Watcher, I'm over here, lol, kind of thing.

Oh I agree S21 just needs to exercise. I picked up S18 this morning and he filled me in a bit. First, S21 was not upset about missing dinner. S18 said his mom likes to exaggerate. She woke S21 up this morning but he decided not to join us so idk why she is pushing him.

S21 had a foot procedure on Thursday so his toes are bandaged and he can only wear sandals so he is not prepared to do much walking yet anyway. Apparently she ran out of bandages already and that is why he remained home.

They discovered a mouse in the house yesterday so I'm just going to have to move back home. ::) I explained to S18 to make sure the basement door is closed as that is most likely how it entered. He said his mom was doing laundry yesterday and left the door open.

His appointment went fine however they had a difficult time finding his vein as it took 3 jabs to draw blood. His face is really clearing up nicely so the process seems to be working. We went to a diner afterwards for breakfast. He did mention that his driving lesson went well yesterday and he needs to make his final appointment with the instructor. Apparently the instructor had been calling him but S18 would not answer because he didn't recognize the number, lol.

Upon returning him home, his mom and the dog were outside, so he had to exit a moving vehicle as one just cannot be careful with these ex spouses nowadays.

So we will see each other on Thursday for his next appointment and breakfast.

Enjoy your day everyone

Thanks
  • Logged

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 4352
  • Gender: Female
BRAND NEW MAN 13
#45: August 02, 2021, 09:00:35 AM
You know, it's not just "get off your butt and move". If S21 is stressed, he can exercise till the cows come home and he may or may not loses weight. Each person reacts differently. IMO, make the goal activity and healthy eating rather than losing weight (just one more thing to fail at....).

I have this skinny friend who sits around reading  rather than exercising and eats two to three times what I do. The only time she gained weight was when her son was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Stressed to the max. It was removed, five years on had not grown back, the weight dropped off without her even thinking about it. She has a very non stressful life in general.

As a suggestion, help S21 get on course for his life, he can destress himself. It can't hurt.
  • Logged
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

W
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5324
  • Gender: Male
BRAND NEW MAN 13
#46: August 04, 2021, 07:11:08 PM
So the Berlin Marathon organizers contacted me today and they are requiring electronic proof of vaccination via this German app which is not available in the United States.

An event ticket will be mailed to my home 10 days prior to the race which is cutting it pretty close to departure. The event ticket, passport and electronic proof of vaccination is required for entry into the expo where one has to obtain a special covid wristband which grants clearance to run in the marathon.

They are also selling PCR tests at the venue for the unvaccinated. I looked online and this app is specifically available only in Germany so IDK how I would even transfer my CDC card to it. I was reading where I need to get a barcode for each shot from somewhere that I have to scan with my phone. IDK ...

Germany seems to be a bit more organized with this covid app. I know NYC is attempting to implement their own version soon however there is resistance ,of course, because we are the United States, lol.

Now I have the Moderna vaccine so I think I'm fine as it's just called by a different name in Germany. IDK, maybe I'm looking for an excuse to withdraw as I'm beginning to think a deferral until 2022 maybe for the best in this climate.

That CDC card is really nothing professional. It's a cheap looking paper card. So the German authorities are going to understand I got my shots at the NYPD, lol. This is soooooo stupid. What do you mean German authorities, this cheap looking paper card clearly says CDC, hahaha.

The weather has been nice the past 2 days. There was a beautiful pink and yellow sunset yesterday which I was unable to photograph as I was driving over the Brooklyn Bridge. I did fire off one shot eventually but the sky was all red by then and it almost made it look like the city scape was ablaze.

Oh I just thought to myself, maybe people refuse to get vaccinated because that CDC card is so cheap looking and embarrassing. That could be. It looks like I filled it out at home, lol.

So yesterday I took photos of this abandoned Red Hook Grain Terminal which was built in 1922. It was built to house grain from the Midwest via the Great Lakes, Erie Canal, Hudson River route. The terminal was actually never used as the railroad competitors would not allow it so it's basically been abandoned for 100 years.

My goodness, how embarrassing it was to see how Germany seems to have their covid act together and I have a cheap looking CDC paper card that is filled out in 2 different colored inks, lol.

I just received the new Google Pixel phone so I am very impressed with the quality of the photographs. Today I took some photos of this WW1 Memorial that I came across in Confederate Gray skies as we had clouds today.

S18 reached out to me just to make sure we weren't going out to dinner. I didn't have the heart to tell him that Germany has their own covid app's, yes they have 3 of them, while the United States has a CDC paper index card that looks so unofficial.

So I will see S18 tomorrow as he has the dermatologist and we will have breakfast. So we will see what happens.

Have a good night
  • Logged

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 11263
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't please everyone. You are NOT a pizza!
BRAND NEW MAN 13
#47: August 05, 2021, 01:34:16 AM
Hi Watcher,

There are at least 2 different apps that you can pull from the Google Play Store (assuming that you have an Android Handy) - One is called Corona-Warn and the other is called CovPass, where you can scan in your vaccination certificate (or the code form it). In theory, you should be able to scan the bar code from the card into either one but here they are using QR Codes and not Bar Codes so I don't know if that will work or not. Moderna is also recognized here (we have the same "Big 3" - BionTech/Pfizer, J & J, Moderna) plus the Astra-Zeneca.

They just cancelled the Frankfurt Marathon yesterday (that was slated for Halloween) so it will be interesting to see what Berlin does...

Good luck with the breakfast!
  • Logged
Me - 58, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 14, D - 10
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

W
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5324
  • Gender: Male
BRAND NEW MAN 13
#48: August 05, 2021, 10:42:46 AM
Hi UrsaMajor,

Yes those are the apps I need and couldn't download as the message said not available in your country. I have to try it on my Android to see if it will work. I read that statement from the Frankfurt Marathon organizers this morning and it doesn't look good as they are anticipating a covid surge in the Fall.

That race was scheduled for October 30th. The Berlin half marathon is scheduled for August 22nd so it will be interesting to see if that one goes as scheduled.

I picked up S18 this morning and I could hear his mother yelling at S21 to wake up while I waited in the car curbside. S21 did not join us and S18 said, he stays up late and there is no way he is getting up early to go out for breakfast.

This morning was another Hungry Man Special which arrives on 3 plates as opposed to my 1 plate. I have the concert tomorrow night and S18 has his next driving appointment this weekend so we are not going to see each other. He takes his driving exam on Monday and we will see each other for dinner on Wednesday.

The dermatologist appointment went well and we are now scheduled again for September.

Enjoy your day
Thanks
  • Logged

W
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5324
  • Gender: Male
BRAND NEW MAN 13
#49: August 05, 2021, 07:02:07 PM
Ok so a couple of people directed me to the NY State Covid App and I was able to download that one and I found my QR Code and vaccination history. So that was step one.

Meanwhile I was able to download the Luca App which is the 3rd one recognized by the Berlin Marathon organizers. However, there seems to be a problem with registration as it keeps telling me the Tan network has been exceeded and I have to try again later, lol.

So if I can get the Luca App to work then I can transfer my vaccination info from the NY State App. Corona Warn and Covpass are not available in the United States.

So this morning she was yelling at S21 to wake up but she wasn't angry. It was more just loud and obnoxious so I could hear her, lol. S18 had to feverishly text away as soon as he entered my car. My goodness she cannot leave either one of them alone.

Now S18 doesn't ask me any questions so I have no clue what instructions he is receiving from her. So it took him awhile to stop replying to her.

Well maybe she was making an excuse for S21 and having S18 relay it to me now that I think about it. He did have an excuse for S21 once he stopped receiving texts from presumably his mother.

I did ask S18 how the driving was going and he doesn't share much which has me questioning if he is actually practicing with this school. So I did tell him maybe we will be celebrating his driver's license on Wednesday night and his face lit up so maybe he really is driving, lol.

I did ask S18 if his mom is having a hard time with S21 and he said no. He said S21 does go out often and he doesn't give her a hard time.

Tomorrow night I'm going to the Jason Aldean concert and IDK how I feel about it yet. I'm definitely bringing my mask. So we will see.

Have a good night
  • Logged

 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.