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Author Topic: My Story BRAND NEW MAN 13

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My Story BRAND NEW MAN 13
#20: July 17, 2021, 01:33:19 PM
Bwa-ha-ha. Good call on the Canadians.....those geese can be very dangerous.

How did you like your Brooks Ghost 14s? Better, worse, the same? I used to run in ASICS (a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away), and then one year they changed my favorite model (cumulous) and put more padding in. I could never wear that model after that because it caused my foot to sit higher and with narrow heels, I'd just step right out. I think I had to switch to Nike, but broke my ankle shortly after so don't really recall. That ended my running career (ankle was set incorrectly and my only choice was to have  the break cut apart and recast. The Dr recommended against it due to the proximity of the break to the joint). Do the 14s feel any different?
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When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#21: July 18, 2021, 04:26:20 PM
Hi OffRoad,

I still prefer the Ghost 12's because it feels like your foot is locked and secured in the shoe. The Ghost 14 does have a lot more noticeable cushion. They do discontinue each series after the new one launches. So right now the Ghost 13 is on sale and once they are gone then they are gone.

Oh one could still find the odd Ghost leftovers/ ugly colors on Misfit Island but I don't buy those. Usually they no longer offer my size anyway as everyone buys them up before they land on Misfit Island.

I love the Ghost series but they also have to have some cool color schemes to get my attention. This pair is all gray with blue and red outlining so it caught my eye. I jumped on it because once my size sells out then I am out of luck.

However, Brooks Ghost 13 (lime green) will be going to Berlin this year, as long as, they still have the marathon.  ::)

Today I finally went cycling, that is the professional term, lol, with the GT mountain bike that I brought a few months ago but hadn't had the opportunity to use. So I discovered this bike came with a Presta Valve which is quite annoying because I had to go buy an adapter valve so I could use an air pump.

Most bikes usually come with the standard Schrader valve. So I had to buy the Schrader valve adapter. Yea, IDK why they made this inconvenient. Oh you know there is a MLCer exec working at Presta Valve that came up with this nonsense.

So I went back to the canal for day #2 and cycled for 11.5 miles. Thats about my limit as I find it to be very taxing on the thighs. My thighs are worn out. Thats the equivalent of running 4 miles roughly and its amazing how running and cycling affect the legs differently.

Today the Monarch Butterfly was everywhere, as was, my favorite parasitic plant, the dodder.  This plant is really bad news, however it looks cool. It looks like an orange spiderweb that just happens to kill everything in sight, but its orange and I like color.  ;)

Its probably just a bit misunderstood I'm thinking. I also saw the spotted latternfly which also has a cool color scheme of red, white and black. However, you have to kill that sucker because it destroys trees. That one got away so NJ is about to go through deforestation now along the canal.

So in conclusion, a lot of death out there along the canal today, but a nice day overall, lol.

Enjoy your day

Thanks
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« Last Edit: July 18, 2021, 04:27:53 PM by Watcher »

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#22: July 20, 2021, 09:24:04 PM
On Monday I took a day off from exercise as I had to do laundry before I went to work. I also needed a rest day anyway.

On Tuesday morning I started at kickboxing at 7am. I don't like going that early only because my ankle is not always awake at that time and I felt the arthritis creeping in a bit but it cleared up during class. If you throw a round kick it straightens out the ankle. I'm up at 6am anyway so its not a burden to drag myself to class sometimes.

I'm working my late shift this week so Tuesday was supposed to be a lunch with S18. My schedule changed and it has me working 2 shifts back to back so it opened up my Wednesday evening. I texted S18 on Monday and gave him the lunch or dinner options and he chose to go out for dinner on Wednesday instead of lunch on Tuesday.

I'm off on Friday and the weather actually looks decent for a run at 82 degrees with 50% humidity in the morning. I have to try 12 miles for that one. I would have liked to run a quick tempo 5K midweek but I can't find the time so I will settle on 2-3 kickboxing sessions going into Friday's run.

I'm supposed to see S18 this weekend but we haven't discussed it yet. If he does come out this weekend then it will be the usual hiking or kayaking which are low tempo activities and are rest days for me.  ;)

The heat is still oppressing me. I went to kickboxing then showered. Then I mowed the lawn and had to shower again. No I could not mow the lawn in sweaty gym clothes. That would be just nasty. So I formed new sweat.

I have to finish out this now Wednesday shift, go to sleep in a few hours and then we will have dinner and see what S18 has been up to since last week.

Have a good night
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#23: July 21, 2021, 08:03:11 PM
Tonight I picked up the boys after kickboxing. S18 entered the car and I said ,wow, when I saw his face, and he replied excitedly, I know. So there is noticeable improvement after 2 weeks of treatment with the dermatologist. S21 also joined us for dinner.

S18 chose a steakhouse for dinner. Last week at the Chinese restaurant the menu was extensive and I caught myself with trying to help them order their food. I was going to point out where they could find their usual dish choice but backed off. They eventually both surprised me and went with something different.

S18 has been to a steakhouse before with me so he knows his cut preference and the way he likes it prepared. Meanwhile, S21 seemed lost with the menu tonight as he chose a chicken sandwich. I explained to him that he had to try again. ::)

He didn't understand the cuts and asked me to point out a few things on his menu. He eventually settled on baby back ribs.

S21 announced that he received his first vaccination shot and I was happy for him as I know he has been concerned about covid. However, my skeptical side feels his lying, cheating, scandalous mother is up to something most likely by having him vaccinated while not bothering to vaccinate S18.

Now S18 is not interested in the vaccine in all fairness. However, his mother is still scandalous regardless and she is always up to no good in my book. I can't really ask S21 any questions as we don't have that type of relationship so I just congratulated him.

S21 had his earbuds in again but he looked comfortable and S18 is just beyond comfortable at this point.

S18 is coming out for this weekend and I invited S21. He says he has plans this weekend and maybe he does. I really wouldn't know. He does wear the earbuds however he does answer my questions when I ask. I just asked about his dinner and the vaccine.

Neither one of them is really a dessert fan.

Now I started thinking during last week's dinner how this going out to eat is really not financially sustainable in the long run. Once I have my own place to live I think it will be impossible to continue since divorce is designed to cripple one of the parties. In this case I am the party the system tried to financially cripple.

Now there really is no more family. I have son's but there is no family. I am now a single entity who would like a relationship with his son's whom happen to live with their mother.

S21 is emancipated so I have no financial obligation to him, however I understand he is still my son. Meanwhile I have a financial obligation to S18 and I really hope he is emancipated soon because I can't stand his mother who has conned the system to work in her favor. Then again, maybe she didn't con any system. It just automatically worked in her favor is more accurate.

I really will not be financially free until that child support ends and hopefully it will soon.

On the flip side there really is no financial heavy lifting as I am just enjoying my time with them as I do recognize I waited a long time to break them out from captivity.

I'm satisfied with the dermatologist endeavor ,as well, with the driving school, eventhough S18 and I have to find out about his next appointment.

I just don't know what happens come September when they should be in school or maybe have a job. Do we still go out for dinner once a week and do I stay on this every other weekend schedule with S18.

Currently its the Summer so my answer is its the Summer. Its normal to go out and do things. I think September is going to feel different if we are still acting Iike its the Summer ,though, and they are not moving forward in their lives and they are at home playing video games.

I do see the positive growth with S18, and I've only been divorced for 7 months now, so I guess I just continue to navigate things as we are in this father/son's rebuilding phase.

Anyway they are just thoughts floating in my head.

Have a good night
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« Last Edit: July 21, 2021, 08:07:36 PM by Watcher »

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#24: July 21, 2021, 11:19:39 PM
Well, some dinner's out are more expensive than other dinner's out.  You might have to limit the expensive ones.  ;)  Or start stretching the dinners to once a month. It's great that S18 is having good luck with his skin. It's nice when effort is rewarded.

Each state has it's own suckage factor when it comes to divorce. If we hadn't tried to save our marriages, some of us would have come out of this better off financially. We do the best we can with what we've got. It sure stinks though when the kids live with the person who blew up everything and the one who tried to save it all has to pay for it.

I hope you get to keep enjoying your time for now.  Sounds like the boys are getting comfortable.
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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#25: July 22, 2021, 09:49:53 AM
The kids and I allot for one expensive meal per month aside from birthday and special occasion meals. Otherwise, we stay cheaper with pizza or a fast food option. California Tortilla is my new favorite place.  But the summer gets kid of crazy with the food and the sun and the fun.     

"Now there really is no more family."  I disagree - you and the boys are family together with your Mom.  You don't need some woman to make it a family. You are there with your boys making memories and addressing their needs - that is what family does. 

Congrats on the dermo success and driving school and cheers to S18 being beyond comfortable with you.  That is a big deal.   

   

 
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Married 1998
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“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#26: July 23, 2021, 02:00:07 AM
"Now there really is no more family."  I disagree - you and the boys are family together with your Mom.  You don't need some woman to make it a family. You are there with your boys making memories and addressing their needs - that is what family does. 

Congrats on the dermo success and driving school and cheers to S18 being beyond comfortable with you.  That is a big deal.     
EXACTLY! It may not be the traditional "family" but it is still a family with you and your sons... No need for another Sour Pineapple Queen to spoil the fun...

Family are those that stick together to get things dermatologist appointments done and driving school completed... THAT is family... What xW does is not really "family." At best, one might call it a bit of caretaking but nothing more than that...
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#27: July 23, 2021, 07:44:41 AM
Oh Lordy, don’t let a Sour Pineapple Queen ruin all your fun times!! Lol!  ;)
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#28: July 24, 2021, 06:35:59 AM
Hi OffRoad, Dumbfounded, UrsaMajor.

The other night I was at dinner and I thought it was just so strange how S21 could go away for 3 months and now he just tags along to dinner. When I say he doesn't speak that means he really doesn't speak.

I almost couldn't believe he shared that he received the first vaccination shot. He said "oh I will be safe soon" and then I followed up with a question. Naturally I asked him which vaccine and he didn't know so I could tell he was flustered because he didn't know, therefore, thats why I don't pester him with questions.

I picked up S18 last night and the dog was out on the front lawn so S21 came to retrieve her. He didn't say a word which is typical. I don't take it personally as I really believe he is just lacking in knowing how to be social in any sense.

Sometimes I'm out walking in this bubble since I primarily am by myself and I can be stumped when someone approaches me because you get used to being alone. With S21 I just think he has it 1,000 times worse. He was retrieving the dog and he really is not aware of his surroundings.

Its like when I asked him that question at dinner. It was ,as if, he wasn't expecting to be addressed.

Neither one of the boys really has friends and its only going to get worse now because they are out of high school and increasingly becoming more isolated living with their mom. This is where I get mad at her. What on earth is she doing with them ?

These 2 boys are so socially backwards and I even think I was myself while living with her. Unfortunately S18 talks about his mom in a normal way. So ,I know, he is not going to get away from her. He talks too normal about her like someone would about their mom.

I took S18 away for a weekend of hiking, kayaking and exploring. I figured I should be taking advantage of our time together and offering him something a little more than he has had in the past 6 years.

I hit my 12 mile run mark yesterday and now will increase it to 14 miles next weekend.

Enjoy your day everyone

Thank you
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BRAND NEW MAN 13
#29: July 27, 2021, 02:01:23 AM
So the weekend went fine as we hiked on Saturday, kayaked on Sunday and went to a wildlife refuge on Monday. S18 was up each day at 8am on his own and we pretty much were on our way by 9am.

I could tell he was growing tired on Saturday as we went hiking, then lunch, and then explored 2 waterfalls afterwards which did not require much walking since they were pretty much by the roadside. The earlier hike had been 3.5 miles roughly.

So we were back to the hotel between 4-5 pm which is standard for him. That's his going out limit. Now its not like I run him ragged. He needs his computer time badly I guess.

We had takeout for dinner as he wasn't leaving once he got back to the hotel and I did take a nap I noticed so maybe I was tired myself.

On Sunday we went kayaking and I noticed S18 texting away so I thought to myself that had to be his mom. We were on the water for 2 hours as I know that is his limit. We went out to lunch afterwards and then attempted some exploring but he started to be a teenager and it was starting to annoy me internally.

He mentioned how he had hoped his mom wouldn't be angry with him for staying an extra day, so I asked him why would she be angry. I asked him if he had let her know where he was going and when he would be home and he said he did.

I asked him how did she respond and he said she said it was ok. So I asked him what was the problem. He then told me, "you know she likes to change her mind". So I'm thinking he grew cranky because that was his mom texting him while we were kayaking and maybe she was bothering him.

It was also very humid out to go along with his crankiness so we went back to the hotel and that was fine. We would have takeout for dinner again and he was fine once he was back with his computer routine.

Now I did think maybe it was his gamer friends texting him, however he didn't play with anyone over the weekend that I noticed. I even commented to him why he hadn't been online with his friends.

On Monday we went to a wildlife refuge which was primarily designed to be 90% driving with 10% walking. He does take an interest in seeing animals. The dog greeted him upon his return home. So the weekend began with the dog barreling out the front door on Friday night and it concluded with the dog barreling out the front door on Monday night.

We will see each other for dinner on Wednesday night as I thought it best to place a day off in between. IDK, he keeps coming out with me so I haven't scared him off yet I guess.

He is really a pleasure to be around and I wish I could get his brother to join us. He said he will remind S21 about dinner on Wednesday.

S18 is by far way ahead of his brother in maturity and growth but he still does have a lot more he has to overcome.

Enjoy your day everyone
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