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Author Topic: Resources Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9

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Resources Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#150: December 05, 2023, 10:30:31 AM
Sounds lovely, Nas.
I find my inner child is pretty good company too and as her joys are simple ones, she’s a pretty cheap date  :)
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

W

WHY

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Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#151: December 05, 2023, 03:59:30 PM
Oh my. I came across this vid and it’s like a lighthouse went off in my head.   I sincerely think this woman is onto something here with her connection between limerance and the shadow. 

This is what I was talking about the other day when it comes to group think at HS.  We believe the limerance is just more escape and avoid and a fantasy to avoid the MLC facing themself and running away from depression etc.  A fair theory. 

BUT, this lady explains it extremely well and I genuinely believe she’s onto something here.  I’m actually so excited to hear it described this way.   

And I’m talking it one level further.   If an MLCer can do this with a limerant object because they want to access something they haven’t allowed themselves to feel.  Then why does the MLCer apply such hatred towards the spouse, the exact opposite of limerance.   Perhaps it’s the same mechanism at work as it relates to the shadow.  But just the opposite.  Parts of them they don’t want to feel.

How do I tag RCR in this post?   I think this theory requires serious discussion.   VERY INTERESTING. 

 https://youtu.be/5iKO9rEHpyo?feature=shared
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Nas

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Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#152: December 06, 2023, 05:36:35 AM
I guess I’m not seeing anything in there that hasn’t already been discussed ad nauseam. It’s also also important to remember that every single thing said about MLC is hypothesizing. A theory is supported by research and evidence.

You will drive yourself crazy trying to find the answers. Even if there were some scientifically supported, reasonably strong theory about Limerence, the person in crisis or the person in Limerence would have to participate in the exercise of self discovery that is talked about in that video. So it’s basically a moot point.
For me, love has always been a logical endeavor, but the truth is that most people, even if they intellectually understand the brain chemistry and psychology and everything else that goes into “falling in love,” they are still going to go with their feelings when it comes to “love.” So the scientific community could write 9,752,112 rigorously tested and proven papers on the subject. It won’t matter, people will still believe the Hollywood version.
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“The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you will be free.” ~Margaret Atwood

You can either be consumed or forged. It’s up to you; the fire doesn’t care either way.

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Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 9
#153: December 07, 2023, 09:26:03 PM
New thread started here: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=12131.0

Lock it up, mods! :)

Thanks, JB! You got to it before I did... - UM
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« Last Edit: December 07, 2023, 11:12:49 PM by UrsaMajor »
Everything has a beginning and an end. Life is just a cycle of stops and starts. They're ends we don't desire, but they're inevitable and we have to face them. That's what being human is all about.  -Jet Black, Cowboy Bebop

 

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