[ChrissYAH]

Hi SIS,

  The way you describe the ow/om pisses me off, but how I look at it it is his karma. This is what he deserves. I know he is going through a mlc, but this will teach the child man the importance of making good choices. Not my circus not my monkey.

Stand

THIS :-)

[Shockandawe]

Hi Mego

In my confused and fog addled brain I thought I loved om. I told him I loved him though that memory makes me feel nauseous tbh. It wasn’t love, to describe it (think more along the lines of teenage crush), in the beginning I felt a rush of excitement at the thought of chatting to him. At this point I was only chatting to him and it became emotionally connected but that was all I wanted in the beginning. He came across as strong and self assured, the total opposite of my ex h. At this time I believe I became addicted to om in that I couldn’t wait to get online to chat to him. He said all the right things and made me feel something instead of feeling nothing.
When I look back now I know at this point I was terrified of losing the om yet I didn’t want to lose my ex h. As time went on and ex h began to look weaker and more needy the om looked stronger than ever.
When he told me that I should tell my ex h I was planning to visit om as it was unfair on my ex h to deceive him I was very unsure about it but om said he would stop contacting me and that I would never hear from him again.
I was by this point totally absorbed by him and very vulnerable. If I had not been in MLC I would not have ever been interested in om but the fake love ran along side my fantasy life and om became my perfect man.
How stupid I was is still something I feel very embarrassed about. The feelings of “lurve “ didn’t last. I knew I had swapped gold for tin. I discovered that this person was absolutely nothing like the idealistic version I had created in my own head. The fog is a master of glossing over reality but once the holes in the dam wall began to appear and I couldn’t keep up with blocking them it was game over and I realised I had won the booby prize!
I learned the hard way that the real prize was my ex h and had been all along.
The om was like a parasite and he was weaker and more vulnerable than me it just took a long time to realise and then face up to that fact.

[Shockandawe]

Hi Stand Tall,

Of course it makes you angry because you have clarity of mind. Your MLCer absolutely does not. Vulnerability is key to the manipulative strategy of om/ow because without it your spouse would never even look at them let alone entertain the idea of blowing up their former lives.
We become different people and do a complete 180 degree turn around when in MLC. We do all the things we would never do and become everything we dislike in others. A trip on the crazy bus once the fog has a hold is unavoidable. That word time is coming up again but time is what it takes. I did another complete 180 to return to my normal self but I had to complete the journey first.

[ChrissYAH]

Hi Chris

They are ALL controlling and highly manipulative. Think of a big black spider sitting in a web. They work their way in because your MLCer is probably about the most vulnerable they have ever been and these om/ow use all their skills of manipulative actions to draw them in. To become their “best friend “ and confidantes. They slowly but surely draw them in and the MLCer becomes convinced they cannot do without them. I daydreamed about om. He was my life until he wasn’t.
Confusion is a great advantage to om/ow and you can bet your life they will use that confusion to manipulate your spouses into believing they are looking out for them and protecting them from their awful spouses!!!

To try to convince your spouse is pointless it’s like they have been brainwashed and until they begin the awakening no good will come of wasting your time attempting to convince them.

Thank you so much for your response! you describe the ow so well, I think my x will stay with her no matter what only because he doesn't want to prove to everyone he screwed up big time, not that I care theres zero chance Im ever going to accept him back, Im not interested in him he's killed everything I have moved on, its just interesting to see how things will unfold, my daughter tells me she thinks he's starting to regret what he's done on some level, he's been going now for 5 yrs, he's most likely still in the 'fog'

[Keep believing]

Did your ex throw truth darts? how did this make you feel? im sure you justified whatever the truth was but did you beleive your justification or did you know  deep down ex was right?  then running to om to make it all seem ok? did you know when you would run to om , you were avoiding the truth?

also   could you explain the confusion in your head? the reason you needed to wear your headphones? what was going on in your head that the headphones would help drown out the noise? what was the "noise in your head" telling you?

[megogirl]

I learned the hard way that the real prize was my ex h and had been all along.

Just like the "Wizard of Oz"!  In search of happiness and excitement, Dorothy lives out her fantasy life.....only to realize that she already had everything she ever wanted.

Thanx for your response. xxx

[Jackolar12]

Ss, during your fog did you put 2 and 2 together and figure out you had depression and visit the doctors for anti depressants?
Jack

[tinnat]

Did your ex throw truth darts? how did this make you feel? im sure you justified whatever the truth was but did you beleive your justification or did you know  deep down ex was right?  then running to om to make it all seem ok? did you know when you would run to om , you were avoiding the truth?

I'm SOOOO interested in the reply to this!

[Loyal]

Ss, during your fog did you put 2 and 2 together and figure out you had depression and visit the doctors for anti depressants?
Jack

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Did your ex throw truth darts? how did this make you feel? im sure you justified whatever the truth was but did you beleive your justification or did you know  deep down ex was right?

[/color]

MY  MLCer never actually used the word depression but before he left in April 2017, he often told me  that he feels empty inside.
It`s very seldom that I have contact with him as he`s a V, unfortunately living just up the road with OW but at least he goes out of his way to avoid me, not sure why but reckon it`s either his guilty conscience nagging at him should he see me, or the fact that he doesn`t want to bump into his worst enemy but it`s more than likely the latter, as he`s still in Monster Modus, although he`s been living together with OW for the past 2 years!!!

The last time we spoke, he had no choice but to to call me about the nevending story with the flat (lease) about 2 months ago, I asked him how can he completely abandon the doggie, as he had always adored him. His response "I am unable to feel love for anybody".

Five months after he left, I told him he needed professional help. His response  "I know but I`m ashamed".

[Shockandawe]

Hi Keep Believing

He probably did throw truth darts as the fog was descending and I immediately avoided them because I was sure I was the one telling the truth. As the fog got thicker anything he said to me was immediately discounted as lies because he was the enemy and he was trying to manipulate me. I didn’t believe anything he said as my fantasy world was honestly where I belonged and him trying to talk to me just brought out monster.
To live the complete lie of MLC became my true life and my pre MLC life was the thing that had crushed me and I had to avoid every single word he said because in my mind he was a liar!
I remember very little of much he said to me as it would not register as something in my head screamed liar he’s trying to control you.