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Author Topic: Off-Topic Anjae

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Off-Topic Re: Anjae
#90: November 15, 2019, 10:06:42 AM
I stopped watching the news six years ago. There's usually nothing good or positive on there. I haven't missed it one bit.
I really in general, don't watch TV at all.

I agree T read the news online stories you want to know more about.
And if we do watch TV it's more of recorded light comedies. No commercials which is a plus.

I do listen to music on the radio or I have a calming CD I enjoy.  We have YouTube on the TV so sometimes we listen to soothing ambient music at nighttime.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
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Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

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Re: Anjae
#91: November 15, 2019, 10:11:12 AM
I see a danger in not watching the news for I believe it is important that we have some sense of what is going on in the world. Since US news focuses mostly on US events (and it seems 99% on election issues) I watch BBC news and also take a look at the Canadian news. I also find shows like The View which has a variety of opinions helpful to attempting to understand what some of the issues are that we are facing.

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Re: Anjae
#92: November 15, 2019, 10:21:32 AM
My problem with watching to news as it tends to be fear based and spun so who really knows what the truth is?
BBC is a better source of information than the US seems to be.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

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Re: Anjae
#93: November 15, 2019, 10:40:32 AM
In my case, I keep up on what's important in the world, but it's through reading, not TV news.

Online, newspapers, some talk radio channels, those kind of avenues.

I do also watch CSpan and watch out congress in action.  I wish everybody would.  Not so much the political channels.

But I agree with you xyzcf, it's very important to keep up with world issues because what is going on can very much effect all of us.
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Re: Anjae
#94: November 17, 2019, 05:43:39 PM
Anjae is brilliant, talented and a great resource to this community. People that come here do deserve a soft landing, at first. Then, after a while, you need to pull up your big-boy/girl panties and start living again. Anjae made you think. If the poster is offended, then she hit a nerve and perhaps the poster needs to do some self reflection. Nobody needs to be Nell, tied to the railroad tracks, waiting for Dudley Doright to ride in and save them.

When I first started here, in 2011, I devoured the articles. I tried to get an understanding of what I was dealing with. People like Anjae, Stayed, Limitless made me stop sitting on the floor in a puddle with some well timed 2x4's. I didn't want to stay the victim of my circumstances. They showed me the way out.

I also had my issues with some posters who are no longer on here, not banned, just gone. It was their opinions and I didn't have to listen to them.


 
Ya know I remember when I started here in 2010- 2011.
There was something that was added to some posters threads. It went something like this.

Take whatever you feel might be helpful in whatever comment/ advise/ insight/ observation someone else posted on your (or someone else's) thread and IGNORE the rest.

It's like any other social media, you don't like the meme or the subject matter of a thread? Keep scrolling.

 How did it happen that everyone gets so offended by just about anything?

Someone posts a lot about a subject matter you find offensive?

Don't read their thread.

If you are frustrated by your efforts to try to enlighten someone to do some self reflection and they get offended?

Stop posting on their thread.

I totally agree. I also stopped posting on threads that frustrated me. I didn't complain about them. Only once did I complain and that poster is still on here. I just don't read it or comment on it. When will people take ownership of their own issues? Nobody on here has a definitive answer to MLC. NO ONE. Our site is better with a diversity of opinions.

It is sooooo high school to only want the "cool kids" to converse on here, i.e., the ones who agree with the poster's stance. How do you grow without being challenged? And again:

Quote
Take whatever you feel might be helpful in whatever comment/ advise/ insight/ observation someone else posted on your (or someone else's) thread and IGNORE the rest.
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Re: Anjae
#95: November 17, 2019, 05:55:46 PM
From what I understand and recall from RCR's explanation,,banning Anjae had nothing to do with her posts or her blunt and sometimes harsh 2x4's.   It because of her attempts to circumvent the rules (more than once if I understand correctly).

Going to be honest I did find her quite abrasive and it was tough to shrug that off sometimes to get to the heart of her message.   I didn't always manage to do that either,, sorry.  Despite that I also miss Anjae.  She offered a lot of valuable advice.   But this is all beside the point.   We can argue all day long that everyone should have the right to post what they like and if we don't like it we don't have to read anymore.   If that was the reason she was banned,, then good argument but if you want her reinstated you will have to argue that based on the reason she was banned:  circumventing the rules more than once, then flaunting it in RCR's face.

 

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Re: Anjae
#96: November 18, 2019, 04:43:20 AM
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It because of her attempts to circumvent the rules (more than once if I understand correctly).

That's what RCR has reiterated. I'm sure it probably hurt her (RCR) to do it, because she's tried to work with her several times over.

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In my case, I keep up on what's important in the world, but it's through reading, not TV news.

Thunder, i agree! I read a lot, almost non stop. The thing I like about reading is I can skim, get the main idea, look for what I think the facts are and move on. I've always enjoyed reading, but I feel like when it comes to news, I have more control over the messages and amount that gets let in, so to speak.

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I totally agree. I also stopped posting on threads that frustrated me. I didn't complain about them. Only once did I complain and that poster is still on here. I just don't read it or comment on it. When will people take ownership of their own issues? Nobody on here has a definitive answer to MLC. NO ONE. Our site is better with a diversity of opinions.

It is sooooo high school to only want the "cool kids" to converse on here, i.e., the ones who agree with the poster's stance. How do you grow without being challenged?

I believe the internet has a severely polarizing affect on opinion. People simply are friends with people that support their opinions and block out anything else. We've lost a search for the objective truth that is supported by facts and believe that opinions and feelings are more valid. To an extent they are. We all know basic right and wrong, but the truth has been replaced by trying to get people to agree with us and it's all deteriorated to being a contest of who can be the bigger victim.

I agree completely agree.. free debate encourages growth. I think we just had a thread on debate vs arguing and I think it's completely apt. I for one, have no problem being wrong, if the facts show me that I am. I'm not going to change my stance though if I get picked on and yelled at.

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Re: Anjae
#97: November 18, 2019, 05:29:55 AM
Quote
It because of her attempts to circumvent the rules (more than once if I understand correctly).

That's what RCR has reiterated. I'm sure it probably hurt her (RCR) to do it, because she's tried to work with her several times over.

YES - sorry but she was warned numerous times and despite that still felt she was above the rules.

Anjae worked very hard as a moderator, so I know that RCR did not take this lightly.

Also RCR was banned from DB so she did really not believe we should ever ban anyone because of this.

That actually created other problems that we had to deal with.
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Re: Anjae
#98: November 18, 2019, 05:46:01 AM
I'm a moderator on several other forums and I can tell you banning someone is an issue that is never, ever, taken lightly.

As we've been talking about, if you aren't happy with someone or a topic, simply look away. I don't think in doing so, you realize the graciousness you're extending to someone else. I've been on forums in one kind or another since the late 80's. That's back on dial up services and usenet threads.

These are the only true safe places I've seen online in the sense that everyone is welcome and the people that run them, work tirelessly to keep the peace. We understand that for many people, these places may the be only ones that they feel they can talk about certain issues, it may be the only social interaction they have (they may be shut ins for one reason or another).

Years ago, I used to be part of the sci fi convention scene and I was in a real life few groups who also had virtual counterparts. People believed very much in doing charity work and would go to great lengths to make sure that all members accommodated, if they needed it. Despite the topic, forums like this are an extension of the kindness that existed in those early days.

The people that inhabit (and run) these places believe in a good that's bigger than themselves. Part of that is extending patience and kindness to people we may not agree with. Look what's going on, in the "surface" world. People unfriend and block people they've known for years because they don't agree with them. They let friendships and family ties wither away because of a difference of opinion. The opposite is true here. it takes much, much agonizing to "push the button" on someone.

You'll never see the sort of patience and kindness you do on forums like this, elsewhere, so please don't be quick to judge and point fingers. instead, consider your part in it and how much you contribute by just letting things be, if they aren't your cup of tea.

There are forums that are crazy coo coo too out there, for the record. So thank God we have alternatives.
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Re: Anjae
#99: November 18, 2019, 08:38:49 AM
Anjae is brilliant, talented and a great resource to this community. People that come here do deserve a soft landing, at first. Then, after a while, you need to pull up your big-boy/girl panties and start living again. Anjae made you think. If the poster is offended, then she hit a nerve and perhaps the poster needs to do some self reflection. Nobody needs to be Nell, tied to the railroad tracks, waiting for Dudley Doright to ride in and save them.

When I first started here, in 2011, I devoured the articles. I tried to get an understanding of what I was dealing with. People like Anjae, Stayed, Limitless made me stop sitting on the floor in a puddle with some well timed 2x4's. I didn't want to stay the victim of my circumstances. They showed me the way out.

I also had my issues with some posters who are no longer on here, not banned, just gone. It was their opinions and I didn't have to listen to them.


 
Ya know I remember when I started here in 2010- 2011.
There was something that was added to some posters threads. It went something like this.

Take whatever you feel might be helpful in whatever comment/ advise/ insight/ observation someone else posted on your (or someone else's) thread and IGNORE the rest.

It's like any other social media, you don't like the meme or the subject matter of a thread? Keep scrolling.

 How did it happen that everyone gets so offended by just about anything?

Someone posts a lot about a subject matter you find offensive?

Don't read their thread.

If you are frustrated by your efforts to try to enlighten someone to do some self reflection and they get offended?

Stop posting on their thread.

I totally agree. I also stopped posting on threads that frustrated me. I didn't complain about them. Only once did I complain and that poster is still on here. I just don't read it or comment on it. When will people take ownership of their own issues? Nobody on here has a definitive answer to MLC. NO ONE. Our site is better with a diversity of opinions.

It is sooooo high school to only want the "cool kids" to converse on here, i.e., the ones who agree with the poster's stance. How do you grow without being challenged? And again:

Quote
Take whatever you feel might be helpful in whatever comment/ advise/ insight/ observation someone else posted on your (or someone else's) thread and IGNORE the rest.


Totally agree with you Learning. This was my experience as well. Once I got over the shock of being "offended" by a 2x4 there were some excellent grains of truth that made me take a hard look at things.........invaluable towards growth.
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