[sachat3]

You are right! Example being today (Good Friday) is a day Clinton should collect the kids. It’s his weekend with them. He text me last night (Thursday) and said he sorted it with work. He could get the kids mid afternoon. He turned up, in his own clothes, the way he parked his car. I knew K was in the car. Which tells me, he wasn’t working. He hadn’t been. He just didn’t want the kids. Be all and end all.

I can be cordial and nice to K because she isn’t the original OW. She met Clinton years after BD. As a prime example, tonight the kids are with Clinton and K, K sent me a picture of D8 and I appreciate it.

Fun fact, I’m quite popular on TikTok. I always have been. When Clinton was with the OG OW. She would declare TikTok to be “cringe” etc etc. guess who popped up on my FYP. Yup, the original OW. She was showcasing a day out she had with her nephew and being all “kid friendly”. It took everything in me to not comment.

So about me, I’ve met someone. I really like him and I know he likes me too. He’s honestly so lovely. He is a really good communicator. He is all the green flags a girl needs. However he is 2 years younger than me. So I do always panic a little that it’ll happen again. I mean, I experienced BD as a 26 year old. Twenty firetruckin six. I try not to judge everyone by last experiences but at the same time. I’m aware. Which, when you think about it, it’s very fixked up that I’m even aware of this $h!te

[Dragonfly33]

I don’t understand what kind of parents don’t want their kids. It’s not like he has them everyday as they re with you most of the time. I, even as just an aunt to my niece and my nephew, would love to have them frequently at my place. So as a parent, I don’t understand this behavior. But, this is MLC world so that must be it.

Nice to hear that you’ve met someone. Two years gap would be totally Ok in my opinion. I have the same fear as you to be honest. I’m scared to be in a serious relationship again because I don’t want to go through the same pain again. Last year I was seeing someone, and I noticed that I was so cautious about my feelings. I didn’t want to get so attached to the person emotionally because I was protecting myself from getting hurt again. So I guess it’s a normal feeling for you.

[UrsaMajor]

A 2-year gap is nothing... especially since men die earlier than women on the average... <lol>

I have one or both of my kids every other weekend too (if they, at 14 and 18 want to come over) but we also hit the gym every week and my son called me today at work to tell me he has gotten through the first hurdle on his apprenticeship program because MCLxW was somewhere and left her phone at home on the charger..... and he needed to tell someone about it...

D14 was also upset with me that I didn't want to play "happy family" for her birthday but I just can't do that anymore. It is not good for me and it gives her a false sense of "everything is fine" when it isn't "fine." Her therapist also said that D14 needed to understand that it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with MLCxW.

Kids know who is the reliable one

[MadLuv]

It’s been 7 years since BD and tbh not a lot has changed. He’s still the same person. Still begs for his family back and yet does nothing to get that.

This!!! As my D34 has said, he is not offering the kind of relations that is acceptable to me!  Avoidants sometimes do that purposely. They make little effort to be able to ease their guilt, but they know they aren’t putting forth the effort needed. They don’t want to think about it. They don’t want to have the difficult conversations!! 7 years…ugh. 4.5 years for my kids and grandkids and it continues to be havoc .