[KayDee]

It's needs translating this side of the pond  was supposed to be puss-cee-footer (written phonetically to get around the Purity Bot) - it just means sort of soft padding around difficult or fragile things. You know, like a cat on a shelf full of ornamental china 

[UrsaMajor]

Yeah.... like this?   

[KayDee]

That's the kitty!

[Biscuit]

Merry Christmas to all on HS!!

I've had a wonderful Christmas with W, kids and MIL - plus my parents and my sister's family for part of the festive period.

The only downside is that yesterday on Christmas eve and today on Christmas Day, I've had to leave the family home to come back to the other house we own and sleep here without kids or anyone else.

W, kids and I have eaten festive food, been to a panto, and watched Christmas movies on TV together - it all feels so effortless for me - but there are times that I can see W is struggling with having the family together and has to make an excuse to go and do something.

All in all though, a very successful few days spent together - and we'll maybe have a few more in the coming week or so. W and the kids bought me lots of nice, and unexpected presents.

Tonight, on Christmas Day, we spent a couple of hours at a neighbours house, which was great fun. I'm not sure what W has told the neighbours about our situation but I'm always welcomed like I've never left - which contrasts to the reception I'm given at our mutual friends houses that I visit from time to time.

Best wishes for the Christmas period and for 2025 all of you.

B xx

[Baxter1]

Best wishes Biscuit!

We had a lovely Christmas as well. We had the in laws over and it was like old times. If you didn’t know what was going on you would think we were a great couple. It’s so bizarre but this whole thing is bizarre!

I’m glad you had great times together with your family.

[Flummoxed]

Such a beautiful update, Biscuit! So glad to hear you had a lovely Christmas holiday. I hope you have a wonderful start to the new year as well!

[Biscuit]

Thanks Baxter and Flummoxed,

So NY was great - me and D13 went on a little mini break to Spain to see relatives, S18 was seeing his GF so didn't want to come along. It was lovely, D and I had a great time and it helped that the 2 of us just spent loads of time together there - we had a lot of laughs, and went shopping and eating lovely food - fantastic.

I've not got much work on in January, so I'm spending some time getting some jobs done that I've been putting off for months. Some I can do myself or with my friend - but a couple need a handyman or builder. Knowing I'd need to get a contractor in I asked W what needs doing around at the house that she's at (which I also still own half of) and suggested we just get one guy in who can do all the work at both properties. Obviously that's easy for her as she doesn't need to find any one herself.
Here's the funny part though. I made the list of jobs as a GoogleDoc and shared it with W - along with a note telling her to add anything I'd missed and to let me know if that all seemed ok. I didn't hear back for a couple of days, so the next time I saw her, I mentioned it and asked if she got the googledoc ok and was it ok to proceed with the stuff that needed fixing at W's house. Her reply made me do an eyeroll (which she didn't see) and had me laughing out loud when I left the house. She said, "What I'm looking for Biscuit is for you to take control of the situation - you just get it all done - that's fine." Which is the bit that I found ironic - only a year ago I was told I was a control freak, who tries to control everything in her life - and that's why she couldn't be with me....now she WANTS me to take control of something. Ha ha ha, really made me chuckle. I got a couple of prices and dates in pace for work and sent them through to her at the end of last week, to which she just said, "Brilliant, thank you".... you really couldn't make this stuff up could you?

[MadLuv]

Chalk that up to having to find something to be annoyed about for justification, right? Really, alot of those are things they truly admire. You really can’t make it up

[Biscuit]

I think you're right Madluv, I saw W tonight and she was really impressed with how many projects I was handling across the 2 homes. Obviously there were a couple of criticisms (very mild ones!), but I think she just trusts me to get them done, and probably always has, but just needed to blame me for something, anything, at BD.
Anyway, for now W and I are working as a team, just as we did when we were living together. Her strengths are organising money, remembering what's coming up in the future (and reminding me) remembering to pay for stuff and generally organising and administering our lives, but she hates calling or emailing anyone she doesn't already know, like builders, suppliers etc so I'm doing that stuff - which is what I'm good at. It does seem like we're in a really good place at the moment, but I'm not complacent enough to think it will carry on like this, or to think that this is leading to anything more than where we are right now. And to be honest, where we are right now is so much better than a year ago or so.

In the evenings when both kids are with W I've been relaxing by getting into painting, which I think I might have journalled about before. W and the kids bought me an easel for Christmas and I'm really enjoying winding down every night by painting, something I haven't done for probably 30 years at least. Anyway, it's a great release, the paintings aren't particularly good, but the whole experience is really beneficial to me, I can spend hours sketching and painting and it takes my mind far away from all the other stressors in my life.

The kids are doing well, W has been really keen to get them both into some sort of therapy recently, maybe she realises that they haven't gone through the last 3 years totally unscathed, who knows? They are both responding well to chatting to an outside professional, hopefully we can limit the damage by getting them to open up to someone and telling them how they feel.

All things are pretty positive right now, let's hope they continue in the same way!

[Baxter1]

B-

I love these updates! I love how you and W have a good relationship, everyone gets along and you co-parent so well. I’m hoping to get to this point some day in the future.