Skip to main content

Author Topic: My Story Wish You Well

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12510
  • Gender: Male
  • You can't please everyone. You are NOT a pizza!
My Story Wish You Well
#50: September 11, 2023, 02:45:31 AM
Nice to hear from you, Evermore and I'm happy that things are going so well for you as you grow forward! ;)

UM
  • Logged
Me - 60, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 16, D - 12
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

R
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2406
Wish You Well
#51: September 11, 2023, 09:38:21 PM
Evermore, great to hear your update and how well you are doing. Thanks for sharing.
  • Logged

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12323
  • Gender: Female
Wish You Well
#52: September 12, 2023, 05:46:58 AM
Nice to hear Evermore!

As I was reading your thread it occurred to me that M treats you like a normal human being would. Showing kindness, care and concern in a relaxed way. Contact with the MLCer isn't like that, unless they are wanting to reconcile.

You sound very "grounded" and I loved this:

Quote
"You look so happy. Happy for you!! You deserve it." I have awesome kids.

because there is something different in us when we have found happiness.....that "lost" look disappears.

Looking forward to hearing more of your story and about the new foal!
  • Logged
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

h
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2220
  • Gender: Female
    • Clare Brown Life Coach
Wish You Well
#53: September 12, 2023, 11:35:47 PM
I am so glad that things continue to go well with M. I totally get your feeling that it just feels right because I got that same feeling for you when we last met. I did wonder whether there would be some comment from ex H about it.

I think you are gonna have yourself a fun and busy summer Ever!!
  • Logged
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved home again March 2020
Moved out July 2017
Moved home March 2020
D21, D19 and S17

M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1723
  • Gender: Female
Wish You Well
#54: September 13, 2023, 10:27:47 PM
Evermore- I missed somehow you met someone, but so glad you are testing the waters and opening yourself up to what life is putting before you.  After all the crazy I think normal just might seem odd at first. I think also we can forget just how much we missed and maybe took for granted that normal. Enjoy!! You deserve it!!
  • Logged
There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.

Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight

Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022  XH fired
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3361
  • Gender: Female
  • Time is a Gift! 🎁
Wish You Well
#55: October 03, 2023, 09:48:34 PM
All caught up Evermore.  Probably getting closer and closer to your foal being born.
  • Logged
Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

E
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 597
  • Gender: Female
Wish You Well
#56: October 03, 2023, 10:17:24 PM
All caught up Evermore.  Probably getting closer and closer to your foal being born.

Hello FW. Lovely to hear from you. Yes, my mare Charm is due at the end of the month (but horses have a 4 week 'window' so she's really due form mid-Oct to mid-Dec)!

Thanks also for the well wishes UM, Reinventing, XYZ, ML, and my dear F&H. Things are still going along very well with M. It still feels odd but I am getting used to my new normal slowly.

Some sad news: I had to book with the vet today to take our very old Staffy Bella (Boo) to be PTS this coming Saturday. She is very frail these days and still wee'ing all over the place (did I mention that in last update?). The medication we have tried on her to help with this hasn't worked so it's likely she has a bladder/kidney/liver etc tumour. Over the past several days she's gone off her food a little (very unlike her as she is normally ravenous due to the steroid treatment she's been on for the past year and a bit). I'm also quite worried that with the coming warm weather she will need to be stuck in my bedroom/ensuite section of the house (due to the wee'ing everywhere!) on very hot days and that just won't be OK. It's her birthday on Friday (15!) and I know it sounds silly, because she doesn't know, but I wanted to be able to give her this week and spoil her with roast chicken and all the treats she loves. I was thinking originally that I had a few more weeks but I think she will go down hill quite quickly now. As I have said in the past, better a day too soon than a day too late.

Bella is the last of 'our' family pets. So there is that whole layer to have to deal with as well as the simple sadness of saying goodbye to a much loved family member. I sent xH a message this morning letting him know. He has said that he will come to the vet with us on Saturday to say goodbye. It's going to be a sad few days.

I've been trying to catch up with everyone's stories but, as usual, I'm not very good at posting to people as I often can't think of the right words to say. I am thinking of all here though, especially those who have recently lost loved ones or who have sick family members.
  • Logged
M: 53 (48 @ BD), H: 55 (51 @ BD); Married 20yrs, together 23yrs
D: 24 (19 @ BD), D: 22 (17 @ BD), 'Extra D': 22 (17 @ BD)
BD (that I didn't recognise as such) Easter 2018
BD 9th Sep 2018
OW - he (supposedly) met her in the pub a week before BD, told me about her a week after BD. Thinks 'their planets have collided' because 'their eyes met across the room' and they had an 'instant connection'. Lives with her. Is building a life with her.
Jun 20: H plans to buy a block of land and build a house with her (never happens).
May 22: Movement... (likely T&G? Time will tell I guess)
May 23: Yep, definitely a T&G last year. Still have contact but very minimal. He is a long way away from me these days. He doesn't seem particularly happy in his new life... but he's still there soooo....

R
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2406
Wish You Well
#57: October 04, 2023, 04:15:01 AM
Very hard to lose a pet. Thanks for doing the right thing by her and giving her all her treats this week. We'll be thinking of you.

I wholeheartedly agree with your quote about the timing.
  • Logged
« Last Edit: October 04, 2023, 04:16:22 AM by Reinventing »

M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1723
  • Gender: Female
Wish You Well
#58: October 04, 2023, 04:58:14 AM
I’m so sorry for your loss. I just loss out last pup last month we had together. I messaged my XH and he did not respond, but did pay half the vet bills. I’m glad that your XH showed up to say goodbye and showed some empathy. You are right also on the added layer. I lost both out dogs in the last year and it was an added  layer to process of an old life and connections slowing slipping away. You add that on top of just losing that unconditional love and another family member. It’s a hard loss. Wishing you well.
  • Logged
There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.

Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight

Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022  XH fired
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife

t
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3775
  • Gender: Female
Wish You Well
#59: October 04, 2023, 11:27:36 AM
It is so heartbreaking to lose a beloved pet. As others have said you are doing right by her. You are being a good pet parent even though the decision you have to make in her best interest is a sorrow for you.
I understand the last family pet. I have an 18 year old cat that her time is very near. The last of the family pets. But I have claimed her as mine for many years now as she has claimed me. It will be me and her when her time comes.
Man  th hugs to you.
  • Logged
BD Feb 2014
DONE

 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.