So, today we have a new moon in Taurus and it also just so happens to be MourningDove's Birthday soo at least one of us is in for a wild ride...  I guess she will be taking the bull by the horns <snort!>

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Tonight is the New Moon in the sign of Taurus bringing with it a very intense period of new discoveries and new awakenings. Truths will be spoken and what was hidden will now be uncovered. So much of what has been suppressed is coming to the light, This New Moon is about truth and seeing what is really there and not what we want to see.

Tonight's New Moon is a good time to commit to personal goals that express the positive energies of the sign of the Bull. It's time to enjoy life's simple and physical pleasures, savor good food and enjoy activities that bring us in touch with nature and with our bodies. It's time to stop and smell the roses and to become more aware of what makes us feel comfortable and secure. With this potent Taurus energy, we have the chance to make important changes in our lives. It's time to make some solid yet realistic plans and to set the stage for reaping the rewards from our new beginnings.

This will be an emotional New Moon, Your feelings may become overwhelming, you may feel a flood of different emotions all coming at you all at once, you may even find yourself becoming empathic and feeling others emotions. We may find that we have been carrying around a lot of heavy emotional energy that belongs to our friends, lovers or relatives and we will need to recognize that it is time to try to off load it and to stop feeling responsible for how other people feel.

The Taurus New Moon is about strengthening our sense of security. It is a time for re-evaluating our relationship with money and possessions and to figure out what it is that truly makes us happy and fulfilled. It's a time for considering new ways of increasing our income or earning power. We should be concentrating on what it is we can do to increase our own feelings of self-worth. We are asked to get in touch with what it is that we truly value and want in our lives and to part with those things or situations that are not contributing to our feelings of worthiness. This includes identifying those things that give us a false sense of security.

This is a time for getting back to to nature and seeing the beauty all around us at the moment, trees are full with foliage, flowers are starting to open up and bloom, fields are lush and green, days are bright and warm, birds are singing. Look at the beauty in our lives and be grateful for all you have. Try to stay positive and steer clear of negativity, look at the good things in your life and look at how to improve the bad things. Taurus gives us strength so now is a good time to get any tough jobs done you may have been putting off.

Use this New Moon to grow both materialistically and spiritually. Nature is giving us so many gifts at the moment don't be afraid to take them and to dream of bigger and better things, ask for more, do more, be more. Look at what may be holding you back and get rid of it. This is a powerful time of healing and cleansing our spirits, to release the old and stale energy to allow a new and more positive energy in.

Whatever happens I know I’ll be fine.

That is the most important thing.

Thanks B1 for your thoughts and prayers, actually I needed them but not for the hearing.

Hearing postponed and consequences

The hearing is delayed to June the 5th. The reason is the judge was not available (sickness). At least I was informed 2 days ago, I heard that some people went on the Court and were informed here. This decision was no good news for me and I have been depressed then during weeks. The decision means for me living 3 more months in the current situation : no clarification of the child custody and the alimony, W can come and go at will.

S7 birthday

S8 had a very nice birthday with many of his friends. Like last year I organized the birthday together with one of S8's friend's parents. I knew since September that they are separated but they are in very good terms. In the last months I was closer to the mother, so I had mainly her point of view about the separation. I was a bit surprised that she jumped directly to a new Relationship and discussed about it in front of the children (7 and 3). Then for the birthday she did nothing and left all the responsibility to the dad's shoulders. She said she had something else to do… Now I am pretty sure that she is actually in mild MLC.
S7 is definitely in year 2 at school now. He is enjoying life fully and bringing joy around him. Now he wants to become astronaut and is passionated by everything related to space.

D16
D15 has turned 16. I made for her a sugarless cake that was a failure, then she made herself a very good cake. She is cooking more and more at home and that is very nice. She is still successfull at high school and she is learning to drive. She is growing very well, we are fine together. She is cooking more and more at home and in healthy way.

D18
she is very happy in her student life, she has very good marks at school, in the top 3 of the university. Currently she is with us for one week and all her plans for this summer are related to "us", meaning her siblings and her dad.

holidays.
After a lot of discussions and changes, W finally went a few days with S7 in holidays to see her brother in another town in France. I am glad they are reconcilied now, because they were angry between themselves some years ago. She spent also 1 day in Lourdes (place of pilgrimage) and 1 day with D18 in her student town.
Then I took some holidays with the children : we spent 2 days in the Futuroscope (great theme park), then 3 days in the student town with D18. It was a really nice time together. D18 shared with us a lot of her student life, she has made great friends and she wanted us to meet them. One is from Brasil and will come at our home in June (news for me  ) and one wants to participate to our trek in June.
Then we went all at home and D18 stays with us a full week at home during which D16 and S7 are at school. This is great to be all together, every day is a nice day.

FrenchHusband

when I suscribed here on this forum almost 2 years ago, I felt I was an husband, but I was wrong. I had been already reputiated, fired from this job. Now I don't feel anymore I am married. So I want to change my profile's name with a login that fits more who I am. And I want you, my friends to keep the memories we shared here, so I want to keep an "H" as a second initial of a meaningful word in English. From today my new username will be FrenchHuman.

Familial allowance

I got a call few weeks ago from the "caisse d'allocations familiales" (family allowance fund) as I have notified the separation to the CAF. First good news is that the allowance payment is raised now, and the person on the phone asked me many questions about what is happening. She asked me whether W is giving an alimony, I said yes (it is lower than what she should give, but at least it is better than Nothing). Then she said that the CAF can take actions if W stops to give the money.
And just a few days after this call, W stopped to pay the amount ! First I sent a simple text, then after a few days I submitted a request to the CAF… From my POV it is a really nice solution for left behind parents, the CAF can give the money instead of the fleeing parent and in that case can do the legal proceedings.
After some weeks W sent finally the money to our account 

A 2-year gap is nothing... especially since men die earlier than women on the average... <lol>

I have one or both of my kids every other weekend too (if they, at 14 and 18 want to come over) but we also hit the gym every week and my son called me today at work to tell me he has gotten through the first hurdle on his apprenticeship program because MCLxW was somewhere and left her phone at home on the charger..... and he needed to tell someone about it...

D14 was also upset with me that I didn't want to play "happy family" for her birthday but I just can't do that anymore. It is not good for me and it gives her a false sense of "everything is fine" when it isn't "fine." Her therapist also said that D14 needed to understand that it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with MLCxW.

Kids know who is the reliable one

Journaling:

It’s been over 2 months and Baxter and I have settled in nicely. I try to find something fun to do every weekend and there seems to be more travel for work which I very much enjoy. W seems to find an excuse to reach out about once a week. This seems to be the new pattern since I moved out. It’s only been two years since BD so my expectations are still pretty low but it’s nice to see small glimpses of who she was. We all went out for Easter and she was stealing food from my plate, and found an excuse to touch me. Little things that I appreciate but also try not to put too much stock into.

Planning some trips for the summer: trying to get Washington Oregon and British Columbia, maybe Alberta too. Next court date is in September, a couple more months for her to cook. The kids will be at camp, Baxter and I are gone so I’m guessing it will be a lonely empty house all summer. Time will tell how this works out. Whatever happens I know I’ll be fine.