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Author Topic: Off-Topic My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word

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Off-Topic Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
#20: October 12, 2018, 02:55:47 PM
It looks amazing; although painful. I will buy it soon.  You are awesome to follow through this way.
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Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
#21: October 12, 2018, 03:33:54 PM
I actually felt there was more name calling and swearing than in your posts here. I only read the free chapters, but if there is that much anger and bitterness throughout the whole book, I don't think anyone is going to be able to sit through and read it all. It just comes across a the rage of a woman scorned.

Now, if the point of the book is to show your transformation from an angry woman to one who got everything under control, then the anger at the beginning is fine, but as is, it is quite repetitive and seems to be more a guide to 101 insulting terms one can call their cheating husband. This part should be kept shorter and quickly pivot to a woman who has it all under control, e.g. when you file the divorce papers. There just needs to be a better way to convey the rage you felt without it reading like a stream of consciousness rant that goes on and on like the Energizer bunny.

Also, who is the audience for the book? Why should they read this book? What do you want them to take away from the book? What do you want them to learn or feel or do or understand? What's the elevator pitch for this? I think that needs to be conveyed early on or else you are going to lose the reader.

Also, is this supposed to be a biography with details changed to protect the parties mentioned? Or would the book actually be more interesting if you fudged the details and made it more like a semi-autobiographical piece?

As for editing, if it needs multiple revisions and edits just to get the message right, then yes it would be helpful to have a separate proofreader as the more times one reads something, the harder it becomes to notice the mistakes. You may also want to turn on grammar checking in Microsoft Word as it can catch a lot of mistakes. There's also a program I have seen before once whose name I forget that helps you refine your writing style.

Just some thoughts.









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« Last Edit: October 12, 2018, 03:36:38 PM by GonerinGhana »

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Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
#22: October 12, 2018, 06:35:59 PM
Congratulations Nah
I hope it sells millions. My opinion if it's like your post??? It's a best seller. Real, raw , and honest. No need in powder coating anything.
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Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
#23: October 12, 2018, 08:09:09 PM
I started to read it but I'm sorry, my ptsd kicked in (to close) so I did not download it but you can buy it in Sweden also!

Sorry it did that to you, yes, sometimes when I wrote this stuff, I had to put it down for later.

I have also gone back and forth with writing a book... at the moment, I have taken a break, but perhaps you can inspire me back to it . It is supposed to be a way to heal and grow thru words and walking thru the pain. I am VERY impressed...it is not an easy thing to do !!

Barbie, when I started this book (about 5 years ago) I was so very sure my ending would be more like yours,... I think the world would love to hear your story.
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Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
#24: October 12, 2018, 08:30:47 PM
It needs lots of work. For flow, for ideas to be clear, for tipos, for editing. And you need to find someone who can do the proofreading that is not you or your editor. All those tasks are different and have to be done by a different person.

I agree.  I'm not a professional writer and I did think my editor was going to clean it up more than she did.  I went through a few editors before her, one kept making promises but dragged her feet for months until I finally gave up, then some others that were just way too expensive.  This one seemed to fit, and I felt she was really good until the end when I felt she dropped the ball, but I already paid her 80%, I really don't have the time or the cash to start over with another editor.  A proofreader is a good idea, Thank you Anjae for the feedback, I mean it.

There is nothing about MLC on the book description be it on Amazon or your blog - there is a mention inside the first chapter. Without it, is is just one more book about a guy who leaves and divorces.

My early versions were almost completely about MLC.... then I threw them out. 

Is he a guy with MLC or is he a guy who leaves and divorces?  It doesn't matter, not to me.  I mention MLC, yes, but it is far from my focus, as the book goes on, it becomes more and more about me.



You also need to think you are writing for a wider audience, not on your journal or on HS. It reads like HS posts or a journal (that needs a lot of editing) and a book has to be more than that.

There is too much swearing and name calling right from the start. Again, it reads like your HS's posts.


It reads like my journals, and my posts on HS, and yes, tons of swearing and name calling.

See, I'm an East Coast Girl, and that's how we talk.  On Hero's Spouse, in my journals, in RL, I swear like a MO-FO, it's part of me, I give funny nick-names, I roll my eyes,,,... I can never find my keys.

I can guarantee that this book is not for everyone.  Especially not for people who don't like swearing, illicit sex, or anyone who can't understand how I could purposely try to cause the man I loved with all I had, pain because I wanted him to feel my pain. 

The typos, grammar, flow, ideas to be clear? yes those all need work.

Swearing? name-calling? That's Me,...If the book isn't me, why write it?
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Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
#25: October 12, 2018, 08:33:33 PM
It looks amazing; although painful. I will buy it soon.  You are awesome to follow through this way.

Thank you Feather! :D

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Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
#26: October 12, 2018, 08:56:22 PM
I actually felt there was more name calling and swearing than in your posts here. I only read the free chapters, but if there is that much anger and bitterness throughout the whole book, I don't think anyone is going to be able to sit through and read it all. It just comes across a the rage of a woman scorned.

Yes, the first few chapters do have a lot of bitterness and rage, I actually talk about the bitterness and how much I hated being exactly what I had become... as time goes on, I start to stand but then will get hit again, and again.... Yes, the point to to follow my path to healing.

pivot to a woman who has it all under control, e.g. when you file the divorce papers. There just needs to be a better way to convey the rage you felt without it reading like a stream of consciousness rant that goes on and on like the Energizer bunny.


I understand what you are saying, but I did go through that period for a long time. As the book goes on, I do address how it's frustrating to me that so many people felt I should "get over it" quickly, I preferred to express the reality of how rolling in the depression/anger/self-loathing takes some serious time.  Even the stream of consciousness... I did that on purpose, my mental state was in a weird, dark place.  Sometimes my hands would be bleeding, and I didn't know how they got that way.  I wanted to convey the confusion.


Also, who is the audience for the book? Why should they read this book? What do you want them to take away from the book? What do you want them to learn or feel or do or understand? What's the elevator pitch for this? I think that needs to be conveyed early on or else you are going to lose the reader.

I don't know if this will answer your question, but someone like me would be my reader.  When this first happened, all I could find was Jed Diamond, that wasn't me,... or therapists, not me,... even Chump Lady,... she's angry, but I never see understanding that maybe the person who was left isn't ready to let go. 

I get my book isn't for everybody, not everybody will like the name-calling and swearing, many won't understand why I was still in love with him after all the abuse,... I got even more questions about that. 

I also feel putting the elevator pitch in too early, just wasn't the reality of what happened... It was important to me to keep it real, even if it only sells 3 copies.


Also, is this supposed to be a biography with details changed to protect the parties mentioned? Or would the book actually be more interesting if you fudged the details and made it more like a semi-autobiographical piece?


Nope, no fudging.  I struggled if I should put my daughter in the story b/c the outcome in RL might not be pretty but again, it was very important to me to keep it real.  The only details that were changed were the names.  Other than that, the story was exactly how I remembered it (the early days are still cloudy as I was not in my right mind)


As for editing, if it needs multiple revisions and edits just to get the message right, then yes it would be helpful to have a separate proofreader as the more times one reads something, the harder it becomes to notice the mistakes. You may also want to turn on grammar checking in Microsoft Word as it can catch a lot of mistakes. There's also a program I have seen before once whose name I forget that helps you refine your writing style.


My first writing program that was recommended by several professional writers had zero spelling or grammar check.  The idea is to get ideas down without the distraction of formatting and then fix them later.

I will never do that again.  I was so distracted with knowing that I spelled something wrong but the program wouldn't fix it,.... ugh. 

Anyways, I really appreciate your feedback, I will look into getting a separate proofreader if I ever tackle a task like this again.  Definitely, before I print up a paperback.  Again, not even to be a big seller but to have on my shelf and say, "I did it."
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Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
#27: October 12, 2018, 09:00:07 PM
Congratulations Nah
I hope it sells millions. My opinion if it's like your post??? It's a best seller. Real, raw , and honest. No need in powder coating anything.

Haha... Thanks helping.  Real, Raw, and I swear like a Mo-fo....
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Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
#28: October 12, 2018, 09:43:32 PM
Just a comment or two. I too have been writing a book about this entire fiasco. I write and I stop. Then I write and I stop...its painful! It is so important to me , almost like my purpose for enduring all that pain and I am not sure I can do it. Another feeling of failure . My book is full of RAGE ...you cannot begin to imagine. I was saturated in it for 4 years and its going down exactly as it happened ... because it happened. I a going to tell it precisely as it happened ...all the tears, all the screaming and all the cussin. The audience ? I am writing for ME. I am writing to untangle ME. Its writing to heal . If anyone cares to read it ... they are also looking to heal. There's your audience.

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but if there is that much anger and bitterness throughout the whole book, I don't think anyone is going to be able to sit through and read it all. It just comes across a the rage of a woman scorned.
.

I will be able to sit thru it and read it ... I will "feel" this book and a kinship to the writer . Why? Because I have been there , I know that anger and hurt. Write it 100% exactly as it happened to you , every thought, every emotion, each tear ... its yours . We are not going to be famous Brene Browns..thats not even the goal. But we have OUR story to tell OUR way ...otherwise , its nothing . Scorned ? SCORNED?   That is the biggest understatement I have ever read ...I could spit !. You GO Nah ...your way , all of it . You do not have to defend yourself for 1 second ..
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Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
#29: October 12, 2018, 10:55:37 PM
I would presume because Nah hired an editor and sold her story on Amazon, that she wants to make money off of her story. If you want to make money off of something, doing it for ONESELF is not necessarily the best way to do that, because this is a product you are selling. A product has to meet the customers' needs first and foremost, not one's own. If you want to tell your story and don't care if it turns a profit, then why not set up a blog and tell it for free? Because unless your story is already on the front pages of the newspaper as newsworthy, telling it like it is is probably not going to cut it as a marketable story, and even then it probably would need to be told selectively.

If you are writing a book about a war, you don't spend 100 pages writing about the time when the soldiers are waiting in the trenches waiting for something to happen playing cards and smoking cigarettes in silence, even if that is how they spent most of their time. It just doesn't make for a marketable book.

As for your remarks about Nah not needing to defend herself, you are right, she doesn't. If she is a businesswoman, she just has to give the customers what they want and what interests them.
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