[Algo]

Hi, here's a little update about the last few months, in which things have turned into a very reliable routine, I've left my therapist, after realizing he was just trying to convince me about running away and get some easy fix to become "happy"again... makes you wonder why people face so many problems in their lives, if the person they rely on for good advice only tells them to run away from their issues... so I went internet surfing and found some interesting self help pages, they are not totally without faults, but have helped me to recover faster and get my act together, since January of this year I feel much more confident and safe, and most importantly, I've managed to help my kids, who are struggling every day with their MLC mother.

Slowly but surely, they have kept approaching me trying to understand the situation, but at this time they are still too young (9 & 12) to do it, I've tried to give them some general advice of accepting her and try to avoid confronting her, but still the oldest one is finding it quite difficult and there are constant fights or so they tell me.  My MIL, who is also reliving her own MLC divorce has become a daily participant in their fights, but somehow they both (W&MIL) blame me for it, even when i left the house almost a year ago.

In the meantime, I've taken some tough decisions, like selling a house in other state, she constantly demanded that i would give her half of the sale value, even after I explained a number of times that most of the money would go to pay debts, in the end I took the decision to ignore her demands and so she has been quite cold the last few weeks, the important part is that I feel very relieved to have covered those debts and if she wants to complain about something or anything, good for her, i really don't care anymore, I guess this is detachment and it feels good.

My work life has improved considerably and got a nice feedback this time around, I expect it will also improve the financial side of my life...

I feel a bit guilty about leaving my kids in that situation most of the time, but my job demands I spend a lot of time outside my city (3-4 days every week) and I wouldn't be able to bring them to school, prepare meals etc. My current thoughts are that if things stay like this for two more years, I could demand the divorce, convince and bring the kids with me and move to my formal job location, which is a couple of hours away, and where I would be able to take care of them every day, I'm sure they would appreciate the change but I guess time will tell.

Greetings, Algo

[Treasur]

Why the two year timeline, Algo?

[MadLuv]

Algo, I also think you did the right thing taking care of bills and debts. I did the same. Not with the house sale ( I got the house and equity) but I took savings and paid off anything else, so we BOTH had no debt.

I can’r imagine going through this with young kids ( young adults are hard enough) that rely on you and are still growing into who they are. This has such a huge impact on their lives.

Is the 2 year point your standing time frame?

[Algo]

Thanks, well, the 2 year milestone... I think it will be an adequate timeframe to reevaluate the situation, until that day, I will do my best to support her and look for her best, at this point I'm not sure if it will be the time to call the shots on a divorce... then again there is another important milestone in 2 more years, when my youngest son approaches 12 years and in case of a divorce he could decide with which parent he wants to leave, according to local laws, so at this point I'm fully LBS, with 7 months of time left for my W  I really hope she uses them wisely.