[Shocked]

I love the Crisis Home and Garden line!!!😂 I don’t tell people much other than my xH got a wild hair and suddenly left. Over and over again I hear my dad did that to my mom. I can’t understand why this crisis hasn’t become a topic for a movement or boom with some true impact. This is a real thing!!! With big consequences! Is it really too disbelievable to be taken seriously? Jennifer Garner should write a book and make into a movie!

[Savoir Faire]

This article appeared on my news feed.

The woman reported her husband missing to Police when he didn't return from visiting a friend and  was found to have married another woman in another country. The Police investigated, only to find the husband's wedding photos to his new Mrs online!!

He is believed to have met the woman on FaceBook.

He and his wife had been together 27 years and were childhood sweethearts.

Hers' the article:

https://www.whimn.com.au/talk/news/woman-reports-husband-missing-only-to-discover-hes-married-someone-else/news-story/2efcb1de7292ddfc8dce33456e6428b5

[xyzcf]

I am not sure where I want to capture these thoughts...the "old timer's thread" or here.

I wrote something on Anjae's thread which seems to be true in my situation and seems to have resonated with other LBSers. It was this observation:

instead of the length of the crisis making things better I now believe that in some cases, the pathology continues and they lose even more of who they once were...

I have always believed that the root cause of their crisis resides in infancy and childhood and then all the other factors that impact the MLCer. Today I attended a lecture about Complex PTSD "Children's experiences of multiple traumatic events that occur within the caregiving system- the social environment that is supposed to be the source of support and safety in a child's life" there were a couple of "a ha" moments for me;

"If we could somehow end child abuse and neglect, the eight hundred pages of DSM would shrink to a pamphlet in two generations" John Briere,Professor of Psychiatry and the Behavioral Sciences, Keck School of Medicine
University of Southern California

The other "a ha" moment was the mention of the research of Complex PTSD and the connection to obesity and diabetes. Both of which are health issues in my MLCer's case.

I found the following which I have not read in detail yet but may be of interest to others:

Stress- and PTSD-associated obesity and metabolic dysfunction
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4459590/

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder
https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder

I will write more of my thoughts on the Old Timer's thread since this thread is used specifically for alerted people to articles of interest. For discussion head to:

https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10298.0

[xyzcf]

https://www.nbcnews.com/better/video/how-grief-affects-your-brain-and-what-to-do-about-it-1255640131592?v=raila&

Although this video is specific for the grief that occurs when a partner dies, it also explains quite simply the various parts of the brain as a person responds to the grief od the loss of a loved one

[xyzcf]

On HS we have often said that what happened to us is worse than death. Here is an article that talks about that as well as the effect on our children. It is written from a Catholic perspective but in reality the truth is the same about the issue of how much this damages the person who is left behind

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/schroeder/rejection-is-worse-than-death

[Thunder]

Good article, xyzcf.  So very true.

I think the other thing is, when your spouse dies you can get closure.
If they reject you, for someone else, you don't get that kind of closure.

[megogirl]

Yes Thunder!!!

Someone here said, "It's like having a missing child/sibling/etc., instead of a murdered one." (my apologies for the non-direct quote).

I thought that was the most PERFECT of analogies.....

[31andcounting]

Very interesting articles xyz and I love the discussions here too!

Thanks for sharing!

(hugs)
31

[Mitzpah]

Excellent article and it portrays exactly how I have felt. It also touches on the effect I have observed in my children.

My father often said that divorce was worse than death... I feel this very keenly having lost people to death recently AND having had to face the near death of a child twice.

My comfort is that God never rejects me.

[Treasur]

Very touching article, very compassionate