[Lostinthewoods]

Yes it is normal. Crying in some cases can help regulate your nervous system.
The anxiety will abate once you aren't around him anymore.
Have you tried Magnesium?
It will help soothe your nerves and aid with sleep.

Thank you for the reassurement Reinventing and init, I was almost thinking that I was weak and slow in the recovery,  even few of my close allies think I am not moving forward, I guess unless one has been in this painful world of betrayal (mlc or otherwise) it is difficult for them to understand what we go through,  we heal no doubt, not linearly (not when you have someone coming and going and pretending to do better) .
 healing a painfully slow process but not impossible.
I want to tell him how he is upsetting my younger one. The old me would have, while I hurt for my son, I don't feel like having any meaningful conversation with the mlcer even for my child.
I want to be left alone. Just want to see my children do ok for themselves.
I am praying hard. Please pray for my children

[Lostinthewoods]

https://youtu.be/NU9P41Vifec?feature=shared

Found this link thought it was helpful so sharing here.
Innit - I will talk to a doctor about Magnesium,  thank you

[in it]

Yes her YouTube channel can be helpful.

[Lostinthewoods]

Journaling
In these uncertain times I feel a little worried about my work. My boss and the super boss have quit so the known comfort at work will not be there for too long.
But I have been promoted to the next band so I'm happy.
Mlcer calls once a week on some pretext. I just keep the conversations cordial. We talk a lot about the house. He tells me everything he does there.
Something different happened the other day  while we were talking the call got disconnected, I called back as we were discussing some important finances. After a while the call disconnected again. He calls back and says "sorry that was me" Something new in many years.
He addresses me as his wife in any relevant conversation with me or the kids. Has not done this since BD. He seems comfortable doing it.
Earlier he hated it.
In fact I am supposed to drop my little one and stay with the mlcer, I did tell him I may not be able to come. He was disappointed and asked me why I won't be able to come. Again Something new.
You must be thinking here she goes. No from reading discussions and reconciliation threads here I know what I need before I can even think of letting my guard down.
Just Journaling For myself and to get your views.
I am just watching from a distance.