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Author Topic:  New here, 6.5 months in

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New here, 6.5 months in
OP: July 21, 2023, 10:07:33 AM
In Feb 23 my husband had his crisis and said he loved me but doesn't want me anymore. Our relationship the few years prior was flat and we were more like roommates. Married 28 years 4 kids (17to 26). I always.knew it wasn't great but I never worried about this, we had been soulmates.
I am stuck on did he just stop loving me or is it MLC and he's confused.
He commutes and works 14 hours a day. Does reports on weekends. He withdrew from the kids too once they were teens. Now he lives an hour away near his work and is enjoying his free time. We are selling our investment property and looking into mediation for separation.
We tried dating but he just seemed to resent me the whole time. He was mad when I got emotional. Lots of jerking me around the last 6 months. Then he said he is not coming home (after we had plans)
He wrote a business letter to the kids explaining how we have grown apart and you kids don't really need me anymore.
I am moving on and not communicating except for business stuff. Looks like it's over.
I still love him and have been respectful throughout.
My heart goes out to all you strong amazing women.
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New here, 6.5 months in
#1: July 24, 2023, 03:56:29 AM
Sounds to me as if he has 2 new OW's, one is his job and the other? Who knows.

Regardless, I am sorry that you found it necessary to find us but glad you did.

If he is heading headlong into the tunnel (and it sounds like it the way he has basically slagged off the kids), there are a few things that you will need to be aware of. Most of them are in the link "Survival Guide for Newbies" in my tagline but one of the most important is that MLC'ers can go through cash like water over Niagara Falls so make sure that your finances are locked down tight and under your control. That way, when the male bovine excrement hits the fan, you don't find yourself in need of a shovel to bail yourself out as well..... His issues, his consequences.

Take care of yourself, make sure you are eating healthy, sleeping enough (but not too much) and drinking enough water (alcohol is a bad substitute.)

Come back and post when you want. Since we are a world-wide community (there are members here from Europe, the US, the far east and Africa) there is usually someone online who will respond to you.

UM
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Me - 60, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 16, D - 12
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.
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