Skip to main content
Pages: 1 ... 13 14 [15]  All   Go Down

Author Topic: My Story Where Do we fit? All Things New!

Z
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 113
  • Gender: Female
My Story Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#140: October 16, 2022, 12:15:28 PM
I think he just has the canned response so many people use (including LBS explaining to people quickly). It happened, not looking back, learning from the past, moving forward. What else can be said without going in deep.
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1283
  • Gender: Female
Re: Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#141: October 16, 2022, 12:38:07 PM
UL, I don't post much anymore as I've moved on with my life and I have very little contact with my MLC H.. But I understand your feeling, it's hard to accept the loss and finally decide that MLC (or not), more than likely he'll never be back. I remember when I first joined HS, there was a lot more talk about the stages and how long each will last... that kept my hope for a good while. The fact that my H is a vanisher of sorts and moved to a different country nearly 4 years ago has helped me.. not necessarily to heal but to accept he's gone... Like you, I believe pride will prevent him from ever look back and acknowledge he messed up. He will never face the damage he caused, he wouldn't be able to. It's a bitter pill to swallow but accepting he's gone forever was what help me move forward with my life and find happiness in a different way. Big hugs
  • Logged
H - 46 (40 @BD1)
M - 46 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose)
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.
Confirmation H and OW are together, presume PA  - 3rd June 2019
H gets engaged with OW - Oct 2019
H "finally" asks for divorce - Aug 2020
H marries OW - March 2021.. We are not divorced!
Divorced - Dec 7th 2022

"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1760
  • Gender: Male
Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#142: October 16, 2022, 01:14:30 PM
That is so hard UL,

What a difficult thing to witness, wanting that closure and not getting it (well, not in the way you want).
Seven years and still totally confused. Awful.
Now you know though.

I hope it does a little to help let go, release and heal.

-SS
  • Logged
W - 43
M - 46
Together 28 years, M 25
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019
Start of Shadow - Feb 2012
  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3361
  • Gender: Female
  • Time is a Gift! 🎁
Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#143: October 16, 2022, 02:18:20 PM
We are more interested in you anyway, so I do hope you come back from time to time to update us about you and how you are doing! 

Yes, MLC seems to take a long time, and there are many who just don't seem to come out of it, or if they do, they are full of regret and remorse, but wait to say something until their death bed.

Sending you so many positive vibes toward YOUR journey onward UL!!!  You've been through the fire of MLC and you are the LBS (Living Better Spouse).  There is nothing you can't accomplish or overcome. 
  • Logged
Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."
M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1712
  • Gender: Female
Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#144: October 17, 2022, 08:21:39 PM
UL- his response is so unreflective and immature that is shows he has not done any work at all, yet still convincing himself that he has. You can’t look at the good without the bad and you cant move forward without  really addressing the bad. If he truly was trying not to repeat  what was bad he had the perfect opportunity on his response. I agree he is still a man with a lot of work to do .
 So are you glad you sent the message?
  • Logged
There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.

Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight

Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022  XH fired
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife
U
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2561
  • Gender: Female
Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#145: April 15, 2023, 06:31:43 PM
Help!
I have new information but I don’t remember how to start a new thread and get all the links in it. 
thanks
  • Logged
God is with her, she will not fall
Psalms 46:5
Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/paintedpraize
U
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2561
  • Gender: Female
Where Do we fit? All Things New!
#146: April 15, 2023, 07:19:13 PM
  • Logged
God is with her, she will not fall
Psalms 46:5
Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/paintedpraize
Pages: 1 ... 13 14 [15]  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.