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Author Topic: My Story standing on my own two feet

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  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
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My Story Re: standing on my own two feet
#60: March 09, 2016, 11:16:52 AM
Well im going to lose my house, pretty sure its inevitable. So im going to start packing and I'll be heading to my sisters in California. This makes h happy of course cause he put in his transfer and well he says he will get to see me and the kids. Cause once he transfers he wont be allowed to leave the state unless its to reverse the transfer and come back here.
Dont know when he's leaving or if he's leaving. He may decide he doesnt want the transfer. It may get rejected. Who knows. All i know is my time here is ending and he needs to figure things out quick.

Speaking of h, i got a lecture about staying away from men while hes away cause im still his wife... :o :o

Oy the insanity.
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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

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Re: standing on my own two feet
#61: March 09, 2016, 12:16:28 PM
I'm confused BI.

You're moving to CA and he is transferring down there too, right?
May I ask why you are not moving together if he gets his transfer?  Did I miss something?   :)

I'm terribly sorry about your house.   :(
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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Re: standing on my own two feet
#62: March 09, 2016, 12:23:20 PM
Cause the OW is listed as his immediate family in California and thats the only way he could transfer out there so hes going to live with her and her mom. They break up at least once a week. Plus when i go out there im crashing with my sister and will basically be homeless until i can get enough money to get a place for me and my boys. Sucks.
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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

C
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Re: standing on my own two feet
#63: March 09, 2016, 12:43:36 PM
I'm so sorry about your house and having to move, BI.  :'( We lose so much through this process.

Keep us posted about how things are going for you and your kids.
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BD 29 Nov '13
Left home 8 June '14
Does not live with OW

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Re: standing on my own two feet
#64: March 09, 2016, 05:45:51 PM
Oh that is not good news BI.

He has to live with them.     :(
How does he feel about that?
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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Re: standing on my own two feet
#65: March 09, 2016, 05:50:00 PM
I just thought of something
You and your kids are his immediate family too.  He is their father.

Why couldn't he stay with you?
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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Re: standing on my own two feet
#66: March 11, 2016, 06:11:37 AM
Well when I get out there and find a place to live that isnt my sisters couvh then he can. That is if he even makes it out there. He keeps saying he probably won't because they cant even hold a decent conversation for longer than 30 minutes. Its his own fault.

According to the law immediate family is wife or grown children. Well he didn't list me as his wife considering he married ow, regardless of the fact he and i are still married. The only grown children he has are SD 21 and D19 and neither of them have places of their own plus they both live here. And hes kinda stuck in his decision unless he decides to get an annullment from her and just not go. He only has a year of probation left.

He told me he honestly didnt care what happened with them over there cause hes almost detached himself completely amd if him seeing me blows it all to hell so be it  of course ive been hearing that line for atvleast two years now. He asked me if i beleived him and i said no cause youre still involved with her so no i dont believe you. I think its starting to sink in that thick skull of his that he may lose me if he lets this go on much longer. Who knows though.
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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

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  • Gender: Female
Re: standing on my own two feet
#67: March 11, 2016, 07:02:35 AM
He sure got himself in a mess, didn't he?  It's like he's married to 2 women.

It will be interesting to see how he gets out of it.

Well you have your own problems.  I hope when you get down there you can find work and a nice place to live.
You deserve some peace.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
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  • Posts: 2753
  • Gender: Female
Re: standing on my own two feet
#68: March 11, 2016, 07:45:01 AM
Well he is married to two women lol im the only one whose actually legal.

We were sitting here eating breakfast just now and he looks atvme and says, by the way I guess im going to be a grandpa. Im 41 years old and im going to be a grandpa! SD20 just told him shes having a baby. Shes due in June and wanted to see if he was still going to be here so he could meet his grandson. This has him thinking of course cause he wants to see the baby. I think hes realizing how much of his life he lwdt behind. His mess up yet again of course.

But hey im going to be a grandma lol
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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

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  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 24015
  • Gender: Female
Re: standing on my own two feet
#69: March 11, 2016, 07:49:40 AM
Well, congratulations!!  Grandkids are sooo fun.

I was a grandparent at 39.   ::)

So will he be there?
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

 

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