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Author Topic: My Story standing on my own two feet

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  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
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  • Gender: Female
My Story Re: standing on my own two feet
#70: March 11, 2016, 07:59:08 AM
I dont know. He has a lot of thinking to do. She has him so isolated from his loved ones and support and if he actually goes through with the transfer he won't be able to come back unless he reverses it. Probation laws on transfers are weird. I feel for him but its his own damn fault.
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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

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Re: standing on my own two feet
#71: March 11, 2016, 08:17:57 AM
Yes, you're right.  His own damn fault.

But I feel they HAVE to go through some real consequences to realize what they have done.
He needs to feel where his choices have brought him.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
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  • Posts: 2753
  • Gender: Female
Re: standing on my own two feet
#72: March 11, 2016, 03:38:28 PM
He has some weird competitve animosity towards d19 right now. Its ridiculous. Its like he worked really hard to make ows brother move out of the house they all live and and since he found out that finally happened hes transferred that weird fixation onto our daughter. Yes she wears me out cause shes constantly texting me or over here driving me crazy. He gets so weird about it lately and it pisses me off.
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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

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Re: standing on my own two feet
#73: March 12, 2016, 06:51:35 PM
He probably sees just about anyone as competition for attention. So he works to try to eliminate or neutralize them.

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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

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  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
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  • Posts: 2753
  • Gender: Female
Re: standing on my own two feet
#74: March 16, 2016, 07:17:31 PM
Whatever it was they worked through it. He got over it and she told him what she thought about it. All in all it went well. Cause she went home for a few days and he was already asking where she was cause he missed her so she came back for spring break. Though he is extremely needu right now. I basically have no alone time. He wakes me up, he's there when im cooking, when im doing practically anything. Like if im out of his sight for longer than 15 minutes im going to disappear. Flattering i guess but exhausting.

Other than that same old same old.
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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

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  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2753
  • Gender: Female
Re: standing on my own two feet
#75: March 18, 2016, 10:46:12 AM
This month has been awful money wise. We are both trying to figure out how to pay the electric bill. Im already pushing it cause we got a cut off notice. Work disappeared for a bit and its picked back up again but that gap is really hurting us now.

Went to a local food pantry to get some food to last us for the next two weeks. The interviwer asked him if he was my husband and hebsaid yes. The interviewer then proceeded to tell him how he was lucky to have such a beautiful wife and how i was lucky to have such a kind husband and we are blessed with our family. H just sat there and smiled nodding his head. I wanted to punch him. Why? Because last time we were there back in December he told them we werent married and made me cry, but I just smiled and said thank you.

I do however love my crazy little family. We make each other laugh.

Oh and my sister I don't get along with and d19 lives with is pregnant. I feel sorry for the guy shes having a baby with and the baby. Why, cause shes just like OW. Yeah my h ran off and found someone justvlike my sister. Thats why I know how twisted this ow is. Ive been dealing with someone like her since childhood.
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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

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  • Gender: Female
Re: standing on my own two feet
#76: March 20, 2016, 09:19:23 AM
Hi BI.

I sure hope you can get some financial relief soon.
Saying prayers for you.   :)
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2753
  • Gender: Female
Re: standing on my own two feet
#77: March 22, 2016, 04:49:31 PM
Well my electricity was turned off so we've been cooking on a camp stove and our neighbors have let us run an extension cord between our houses so we can keep our refrigerator running. Its been like camping but in my own house. Went and applied for help today to see if we can get it paid. I think h and i are hitting rock bottom together. Its weird. We are very strangley together in all this and working together to get out of it. It has made him realize that none of this would have happened if he hadnt gone off the deep end and made the decisions he did. He realizes if he had never left we would be ok. I think thats why hes fighting so hard to help. He called himself my knight in shining armor i told him to shut up. We laughed. But in the end, i think him being here for now has been a tremendous help. Now if only he could figure other things out in his life that would be great lol

We have bee  taking S9 to the skateboard park almost every day. We just sit and watch him learn new tricks and listen to music and talk and forget about our troubles for a few minutes.

Things will work out. I just have to keep believing.

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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

C
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  • Gender: Female
Re: standing on my own two feet
#78: March 23, 2016, 03:36:14 AM
Sorry, BI. I hioe you can get some assistance soon. Nice though that you and your H have been working together so well.  :)
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BD 29 Nov '13
Left home 8 June '14
Does not live with OW

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  • MLCer Type: Clinging Boomerang
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2753
  • Gender: Female
Re: standing on my own two feet
#79: March 23, 2016, 05:27:53 AM
Thanks chookie, I guess h had found a site where people can ask for help and someone contacted him yesterday and they paid our bill. So we have power again. It was a very nice lady, he showed me all the emails. We had applied for assistance but never heard back from them and im glad someone helped because we were going on three days with no power.

  • Logged
Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person

 

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