[em5731]

Hi Treasure

I don't know if he has expectations, I have nothing to offer him. I didn't ask him to pay for me. I think for him its easier to throw money at a problem than to have to deal with it. When I see him in person he looks like a crab thats afraid of me. But he will do things financially for me. Maybe thats his way of feeling relavent to us. Who knows. It saved me a lot of money today !

[sachat3]

Clington is the exact same. If he can throw money at something he will do. Without hesitation. Each and every single time he has the girls I can see from D8 TikToks it’s “dad bought this” “dad bought that”. Every other weekend he easily spends £100 on the girls. When I think, we’ll that £100 could be a nice day out making memories. Not on toys. But his money. His issue. One day his money will run out! So take the mechanic repairs whilst you can lol

[em5731]

Ex used to buy my younger daughter everything when they were talking. He still does this with my older daughters. It’s sad they really can’t have a relationship with someone so they throw money around. He sent an email saying if I need any money for anything to please let him know. I won’t do that as I feel like he is trying to buy me.

[sachat3]

I have the same issue. It was only the other day his brother was moving house and said I could buy his tumble dryer. He only bought it in March so it’s practically brand new. Clington visited  his brother picked it up etc, brought it at child drop off and then when I tried paying him for it (he paid his brother!) he was adamant I didn’t need too. But I still did. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of “I paid for that”. He can spend his money on his kids if he wants, I can’t really stop that but I’ll focus on memories and moments over materialistic items.

[em5731]

Hi Sachat

Mine pays for things, but we don't talk face to face, if he knows I am getting things done, he try's to pay. I will not respond if he asks me to pay for something. Looking back at out marriage he always bought us things rather than being present in our lives

[sachat3]

Yeah I think that’s fairly common.

With me and clington, we barely made ends meet when we were together. However it appears he’s got himself a sugar mama. So the spare money he does have gets sqandered. However it makes me laugh because recently I bought the kids a load of new summer clothes. Nothing major just shorts, T-shirt’s etc and he said “wow you must be made of money?” No clington, but the kids need summer clothes not 27 million LOL dolls.

The sad fact is, children won’t remember money spent. They remember who was there and things they did than what they got bought.

[em5731]

HI sachat

 Kids will remember who was there at dinner time and who took care of them. Not who bought them toys so they don't have to deal with them. Hopefully our childrens dads realize that

[em5731]

Journaling

Ex showed up for visit, late as usual. He looks horrible, I can do so much better than that ! lol. He has a long beard that is 3 different colors. He must still be in replay, hearing stories from my older daughter. There is no way the guy I knew would do the things he is doing. He has basically lost 2 of kids they want nothing to do with him, he makes it seem like he is doing everything in his power to win my daughter back. I don't know if he thinks im stupid. He really isn't do anything but complain she is not nice to him. crazy !

[KeepItTogether]

I think they honestly believe they are “doing everything” to make things right. And maybe they are bc they are such broken people now. I’m not excusing it. But to them even the smallest of efforts they make can seem  overwhelming. These are not well people. My H is now completely avoiding our son. I think I’m his mind he is bring honorable bc I’m pretty sure he was exposed to Covid while on vaycay with his “peeps.” So, it works out. And truly, at the end of the day, I’m grateful my S doesn’t have to be around a person with horrific values and no morals right now. I think 4 years is when so many of them are determined to make their new lives work. And yet they are finding themselves in a whole new level of depression.

And.....3 colored long beard? Ummmmmm no.

[em5731]

KIT, my ex believes he is doing everything right and anyday she is going to come around. He is actually shocked when he doesn't get through to her. I think staying away from your son is probably a good idea, especially if he was exposed. It's funny how theses guys, once well respected men go on vacays with girlfriends and friends. My ex doesn't seem to realize he is in his 50s not his 20s.

The beard, good grief, its a bad look, yuck.  When he is being nice to me he doesn't have it. I can always tell when things are going to go back to monster.