[Milly]

Em, isn't it funny (bizarre) how we can see when our Hs are back in the tunnel-back with OW? Coloured beard, or in my case it's how my H dresses. Definite sign of Replay, well said. A normal person dresses the same way, does their hair/beard the same way every day. There's no changing depending on who is around. You know there is something wrong with them if you are not sure of which person is turning up.

[sachat3]

I say the same Milly. If I mention MLC to my friends, I think especially because clington is on the younger end I get the “oh are you sure it is” almost like it’s a excuse. But if it was just a relationship breaking down. Why isn’t he speaking to his cousins and friends? Why have they gone too? They didn’t with the breakups before me. Why has he changed cars twice. Why has he changed jobs and looking for a new one. Why has he moved out or the area. Why has he changed his hair. His dress sense. Why has literally everything changed about him barring his name and date of birth? 😂

[Milly]

Sach, I don't mention MLC to my friends any more. I've had people say to me 'it'd definitely not a MLC.' But they know absolutely nothing about a what a MLC is. I find that people don't want to hear about my separation, or that I should still love my H. They want immediate closure as in: 'you didn't get on any more and you decided to split up. Everyone now moves on.'  So that's what I give them. I don't talk to my friends about H. If they ask, I just answer that he's the usual. 

[em5731]

it is bizarre, when I see the crazy beard, I don't expect the child support on time. It is generally put in to my account at 6 am, if the beard is crazy its 1159 pm. I haven't really told anyone at mlc either. Everyone that I know just believes he wanted someone else and left. Which I guess is kind of what happened. Milly there is definitely nothing normal about this.

[KeepItTogether]

Well yes, they did want someone else. True. But then did they also decide to quit bring a parent too? And for many, find all new friends, dumping the old? And “breaking up”
With their FOO too? I do find that most of my friends understand mlc. And they agree H is the poster child for it. But they also think this is who he is now. Which it is. So what difference does it make in terms of walking away and “moving on?”  They don’t get the pain and agony inflicted upon us bc we don’t share the worst of it for the most part. Or that we need a lot of time to recover from the trauma of it all.  And I don’t like talking about it too much anyway bc it tends to stir up feelings of despair.

[em5731]

My friends understand it, they just think its a deal breaker and its not my problem, and that it doesn't excuse the way he treated me or my kids. My friends also think that ex is just the person he has always wanted to be. That he was a family person as long as he could be and that he is done with it. I just don't talk about it with anyone as like you it brings up a lot of feelings that I have put away.

[em5731]

Journaling

A house on my street came up for sale and my estranged daughter put a bid in. We haven't spoken in years, she is  basically my ex 's shadow(he has the money). Thank god she was out bid as she planned on living there her her father, he was going to live in the in law apartment over the large.This house is 2 houses away from mine. I would have just ruined my life to have my ex and OW and my daughter and her family so close. I thought I was going to have a nervous break down. I am so shocked my daughter would have put me through that. I guess that shows me how little both of them care about my feelings 

[Milly]

Em, so glad the bid didn't go through. I think it's not so much that your D and ex are not considering your feelings, it's more that they are only considering their own feelings. We don't seem to figure into the picture at all, not even in the negative way.

[em5731]

Milly, you are probably right. it just would have ruined my life, I would sell my house and get out of town if that happened. I don't know why they would even look in this town.

[Milly]

Em, I would sell and move away too if that happened to me. I think they come close to the LBS for a few reasons. Our Hs are drawn to living near us, because something in their subconscious makes being close to us feel safe. If the OW is the usual psycho, she likes to push their relationship in our faces.